This is an amazing article on flirting. I can’t remember who wrote it, and the byline is missing. If anyone knows leave the author’s name in the comment box. Thanks!
Flirt to Succeed
By now, you should know how to engage a woman in conversation. Now, though that’s an important skill to have, it’s only HALF the battle.
The other half of the battle is moving from the MEET to getting her ATTRACTED to you.
Have you ever seen any of those cheesy dating shows on TV? You know the ones I’m talking about, where a camera crew follows a guy and a girl around on different dates and sees if they’re going to “hook up” or not?
I must admit, these shows are guilty little pleasures of mine. But you can actually learn a LOT from watching them.
For instance, there’s always a point in these shows where you can tell if the guy is going to score with his woman or not.
This usually happens over dinner where they’re actually forced to interact with each other as opposed to going out and doing stupid “fun” activities the producers of the shows set them up on.
This is where the man and the woman actually get to know one another and find out if they’re “compatible.”
But the thing is, if you watch these shows closely… there’s a pattern as to which guys get the girl and which guys don’t!
And typically, this pattern has to do with one thing:
THE GUY’S ABILITY TO FLIRT. (a more detailed guide on flirting)
And when I say “the guy’s ability to flirt,” I’m talking about the guy’s ability to introduce a SEXUAL energy into his interaction with the woman.
If a guy doesn’t know how to flirt with a woman, he’s going to fail to arouse any type of “spark” or “chemistry” between the two, and she’s not going to be interested. This can either be from a complete LACK of sexual energy, or too much sexual energy. If a guy is too afraid to introduce the sexual element into his interactions with women, they’re not going to look at him in a sexual manner. They may enjoy his company, they may even like him a good deal, but they won’t be able to turn that into a “romantic” feeling.
On the flip side, if a guy goes too far and pours on the sexual element, this is going to turn a girl off, because there’s no mystery or challenge. If you take the game out of the “game playing,” you don’t have a chance to win. Remember, though women enjoy sexuality, if you focus too strongly on it, they’re going to feel as though you only want to use them for sex, and they won’t want to be with you if that’s the case (though there are exceptions to that rule, but for the most part, that’s how it works).
So the trick is to introduce the sexual element into your interactions with the woman, but keep it subtle and slowly escalate
Back to these dating shows, if you watch the dinner scenes, you will always see that the guy who starts to talk about sex and flirt with the girl in a non-overt way, he will usually be making out with her by the end of the date!
This is because flirting communicates to the woman you’re with that you’re interested in getting sexual with her, and you’re giving her the opportunity to do the same with you.
So the real trick when it comes to flirting is communicating your sexuality in a non-threatening and fun way.
The two most important thing for flirting with girls
To flirt with a woman, you need to display two things:
1. Male sexuality
Remember: Women are empathetic and emotional. They respond to strong emotion and feelings.
This means if you effectively send out your male sexuality and confidence when flirting, women WILL respond to it!
When it comes to communicating these traits, the non-verbal element is always more important than the verbal aspect. Too many guys think that just by chatting up a girl, they will be able to successfully get her attracted.
Actions speak louder than words. Women will pick up on what you do way more than what you say. Your body language, voice tonality, and gestures will communicate all you need without you actually having to say anything.
For instance, let’s say you see a beautiful woman and you walk up to her and say “Hello.” Now, depending on how you walk up to her, and how you say hello, you can communicate anything from “You are the sexiest woman alive and I want to make mad, passionate love to you,” to “I’m just being polite and I’m not interested in you at all.”
When you communicate your male sexuality, you must show that you’re interested in a romantic interaction with a woman. Making jokes about sex, talking about sex, winking at her, teasing her… these are all ways you can communicate your sexuality.
When it comes to the confidence aspect, it comes down to you not being afraid to communicate your sexuality to her, and not making apologies for it.
Often times, a guy will make a forward comment to a woman, and then retreat with a “I’m just kidding,” or “I didn’t mean that,” type comment.
This is the wrong thing to do.
If you look at a woman and playfully say something like “I know you WANT me,” and she looks at you funny, stick to your guns. Don’t retreat. Take it further. Tell her “You’re trying to seduce me. You’re trying to get in my pants!” Just keep it light and playful, and she’ll come around.
And if she doesn’t, it might be time to find a new woman to flirt with.
Flirting can be quite powerful because it not only communicates your interest in the woman you’re with, but HER interest in YOU.
If you flirt with a woman and she flirts back by playing along –guess what?
IT’S GAME ON!
If she doesn’t reciprocate, chances are she’s not interested and you’re wasting your time.
Use your skills at reading body language and flirting to gauge where you’re woman is at and how far you need to take it.