Derekの下の記事でVitalioは女性をほめることの面のライトを取除く。
それは私がたくさん尋ねられる質問である、「申し分なくある彼女をほめるか」。

女の子をほめる方法 Derek Vitalio著 

混乱の包囲の賛辞を片付けよう。

多くの人は女の子のズボンへの方法が彼女の機嫌をとり、余分な賛辞およびギフト購入によって彼女のろばに接吻することであると考える。

当然、彼女の一見についての女性に余りにも多くの賛辞を、特に与えることは、一見だけを貧乏および絶望的にさせる。 精々彼女は「オハイオ州もう一人の絶望的な人」、を考え、万一のことがあってもあなたをくまなく歩行に彼女に緑色航法燈を与える。

On the other hand, some guys have the philosophy that you should NEVER compliment a girl to avoid looking needy. But this isn’t right either.

Giving a compliment can be VERY powerful with a woman when you say it directly, smoothly, and with no apologies. The key difference is this - if you give her a compliment from a position of power then she will see you as a powerful person who and she will continue to work for your approval. On the other hand, if you give her a compliment out of sexual neediness then she will see you as a weak beggar.

Make Compliments Work For You

Compliments are useful in that they can put her in a good frame of mind about you. A compliment can work for you by noticing something she put a lot of effort into, something that most guys don’t take the time to notice - therefore setting yourself apart from the pack.

For instance, if she’s wearing something unusual, compliment on that. Or is she has put highlights in hair, mention that. If she’s gone out of her way to stick out her breasts, you can even compliment her on that. If you can’t think of anything, tell her how she has such a nice energy. In ALL cases it’s important that your attitude is calm and playful - NOT needy and desperate.

And whatever you say, say it like that you mean it. If your voice isn’t congruent with the power of your compliment, it will ring false.

Now, should you compliment a woman on her looks? For especially beautiful women in particular, avoid complimenting their beauty. They may well appreciate it, but that’s what EVERY guy tells them, and they probably have the compliment associated with a lot of losers. So you’re not setting yourself apart from the losers and you risk getting associated with a bunch of needy desperate guys.

Give It, Then Fractionate Away

Compliments are made more powerful by using them SPARINGLY and FRACTIONATING.

For example, you may give her a compliment ONCE on her great smile, and then start being more cocky and funny, or simply change the direction of the conversation away from her. Don’t continue to dwell on her great smile.

Or, compliment and then instantly do a “take back” which can be even more powerful. For example, say to her, “You know, it looks like you put a lot of time into your hair… I mean it’s really beautiful… but… I just noticed… that… you have some hair that’s out of place and is going a little crazy right here.” In this example, you give the compliment about her hair, and then you “take back” when you tell her it’s out of place. Just make sure the “take back” is something comparatively minor to the compliment and can be corrected, otherwise it comes off as an insult. For example, if you said, “Your hair is beautiful, but that style went out in the 60’s,” she’d probably take that as an insult.

If anything, just keep in the mind the fundamental rules; give compliments sparingly, if at all. And if you feel you’re about to give one out of neediness or for lack of anything else better to say, keep it to yourself.

By Derek Vitalio

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