Here is another installment of Jugglers online apprenticeship course.
How to Have a Good Vibe by JugglerÂ
We’ve left out something important. Thus far, we’ve discussed
the clinical parts of your approach - what to do and why. But
only in the conversation blips have I alluded to your vibe - the
way you feel to a woman.
Women decide in the first thirty seconds if they want to talk
with you. That is why the most important thing when engaging a
strange woman is your vibe. You should strive to be friendly yet
commanding.
* Be loud enough. Remember, loud guys don’t scare people, quiet
guys do. When you are loud enough you send a message that you
have nothing to hide. Women feel comfortable around men who are
not hiding something. Quiet men are described as creepy.
* Keep your hands out of your pockets and at your sides. Don’t
clutch a drink in front of your chest as a shield. The most
confident postures are often the most vulnerable feeling but push
yourself to keep your hands down and out of the way.
* Make it easy on yourself. Confident, attractive men value
themselves enough to make it easy on themselves. For instance,
when talking with a woman who is sitting down don’t just squat
until your knees burn; say to her, “I’m enjoying this but I need
to sit down. Can you move over so that I can sit down?” If she
says no then go talk to someone else.
I have seen men crane their necks to talk to a woman at the bar
who is not willing to turn around and make conversation easy for
him. Don’t be that guy. Ask her directly to turn and face you.
Engaging women should look and feel easy for you.
Use introductions. When you see a woman in a group who is
standoffish, charm one of her friends who is warmer, and have her
introduce you. It is always more suave to be introduced because
it takes less effort on your part. (see my blog on social game
here at http://www.charismaarts.com/blog/Juggler/34 )
* Ask for something substantial. “Tell me a secret you have
never told anyone.” Confident men who value themselves are
comfortable asking a woman to make an effort.
* Make more statements, and eliminate close-ended questions when
possible.
* Smile and express when you are talking, but keep a neutral
expression when listening.
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January 10, 2008
It’s amazing how being natural and charismatic can start to generate IOIs. It’s happened to me, no routines or anything.
Sometimes there’s a time to “turn off” the game. Perhaps that only applies during the day…..? Mainly, most of my sarging is during the day, so routines would be kind of “random” and “out of place.”
Then again, it’s also Calibration. Knowing when to do what is half the game.
-Seraf