Here is another David DeAngelo newsletter. This one is all about asking a woman on that first date. I have to admit that I’m more of a fan than ever of David’s. Even now, as I’ve been dating the same girl for a few months, I still find myself taking advice from his great e-book. “treat her like your bratty little sister” so true so true.

How to Ask a Girl Out by David DeAngelo

I have a question for you…

When you get a woman’s number and you’re
picking up the phone to call and “ask her out”,
does it bother you?

Do you get freaked out?

Do you start thinking about exactly what you’re
going to say, how you’re going to say it, how to
deal with her rejecting you… etc.?

Do you ever get NERVOUS when you’re dialing the
phone?

You know that feeling when you just start
getting anxious for no logical reason, and you
just CAN’T control it?

Have you ever had to actually HANG UP because
you were so damn freaked out… and you just
couldn’t follow through with it?

OK, now another set of interesting questions…

Have you ever called a woman, and started
talking to her, only to realize that she was in a
COMPLETELY different mood from the last time?

Have you ever had a woman “turn cold” on you
all of a sudden?

It’s almost like you’re talking to a different
person from the girl you met just a day or two
before… and it makes no sense to you… right?

And finally…

Have you ever worked up the nerve to call,
gotten her on the phone, had a great conversation,
but when it came time to ask her out, you froze up
because you didn’t know what to say?

Or even worse, have you ever gotten to the end
of the conversation and asked her out, only to
have her answer with:

“Well, maybe… call me Friday afternoon… OK?”

or…

“Actually, I’m going to be busy all this week, but
thanks for asking… (silence)”…?

Have you ever had one of those conversations
where you could just TELL that something wasn’t
right… and that she wasn’t going to be taking
you up on your date offer, or calling you back at
all anytime soon?

So why all the problems?

What is it about these particular few minutes
that constantly ends in problems for guys?

I personally think that this issue comes down
to a few key DEEPER ISSUES.

And I think that if you don’t have these other
issues “handled”, you’re going to keep running
into problems… and NEVER even know WHY…

…which sucks.

I mean, it’s bad enough to keep having a
particular problem and not figure out how to solve
it… but the idea that the solution is in doing
something you would never think of is a little bit
maddening.

In other words, I think that this is all about
understanding the problem, and actually PREVENTING
it from coming up… rather than trying to “solve
it” in the moment.

Let me put it this way…

If you’re dialing the phone, and you’re
starting to feel nervous, then it’s already too
late to solve the problem.

No quick fix will help you.

Or if you’re on the phone with her and you have
just asked her out on a date, and she says “Um,
let me call you back in a few days and tell
you”… and you start to get that sinking feeling
because you know she’s blowing you off… IT’S TOO
LATE.

There’s no “magic pill” at this point.

The answer is PREVENTION.

THE MAGIC FORMULA

So, let’s take a few minutes and talk about the
issues and what CAUSES them.

Here are some of the “root causes”, and how I
see them…

1) Having no other options.

If you’re sitting at the phone with ONE phone
number in your hand, and you haven’t been out on a
date in a long time, and you are feeling
DESPERATE, you’re probably going to get VERY
nervous.

When you have no other options, the single one
in front of you becomes VERY valuable.

Translation: You want it TOO badly.

This AUTOMATICALLY triggers your emotional
system, because at some level you realize that if
you screw this up, it’s all over. And you know
that it’s all going to happen in just a few
SECONDS.

The pressure is too much!

2) Putting too much importance on a single girl.

Now, if you have a girl that you’ve been dating
for six months, and you’ve decided that she’s one
in a million, it makes sense to put a lot of
importance on your relationship with her.

But, if you don’t know a girl very well, or you
haven’t even dated her at all, then you are only
setting yourself up for major disappointment by
putting too much importance on ANY girl.

3) Thinking you need to IMPRESS her.

This is a HUGE issue.

If you like this post then please consider subscribing to our full feed rss or twitter. You can also listen to all episodes of our radio show on itunes or register for our members only section to see things we can’t or won’t post to the site!

(On First Page) 1 2