Com toda a ênfase em abrir aqui é interessar lido do Bobby de Sebastian-
Não seja um Opener mestre por Sebastian Drake
Quando eu examino o trabalho que nós fizemos sobre os últimos dois anos, eu não posso
ajuda mas sorriso. Eu olho para trás no tudo que nós pudemos fazer e
realize, e eu sou orgulhoso ter aprendido e ter crescido com você.
Se você foi com nós desde o começo, ou apenas juntou o nosso
Ecourse mais cedo hoje, agradecimentos para ser parte de algo mágico.
Agora hoje, vamos começar para baixo à raiz de porque você está neste
Ecourse. Você começou provavelmente lotes dos objetivos. Maybe you vaguely want
lots of things, or aren’t even sure exactly what you want.
But I’m going to hazard a guess about one thing, my friend - I’m
going to come out of left field and speculate that you want to be
happy.
Right?
Dale Carnegie has an excellent quote regarding happiness.
“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
We can get you want - but do you want what you get?
Let’s take a look -
There’s two kinds of goals you can set socially: Ends goals, or
means goals. Here’s half-dozen real goals I’ve heard at the last
six programs I’ve taught personally:
*”Be able to approach any girl at any time and know what to say”
*”Get a harem of bisexual girlfriends”
*”Improve my relationship skills”
*”Gain more confidence”
*”Find an image and archetype that fits me”
*”Find one good woman to marry and have kids with”
Those are all goals I’ve heard from different people in the last
two months.
I’ve also heard goals like become a better storyteller, learn to
approach better, get style under control, become more confident in
the bedroom, and so on.
Now… here’s the crux. To be happy, you need to figure out what
you REALLY want.
If your goal is to “become a great storyteller”, why is that? Your
thinking could go any of these ways:
1. I gain real enjoyment out of being in the spotlight, and
storytelling will help me get in the spotlight.
2. Women like guys who spin good stories. I want girls to like me.
3. Professionally, being able to communicate well and captivatingly
helps me get ahead.
Okay. You probably yourself groaned a little at Reason #2. Of
course you did. It seems a little silly when written like that, and
juxtaposed between two “good reasons”, doesn’t it?
Well, that’s not the case at all - it’s not a bad reason. It’s just
a “Means Goal” instead of an “Ends Goal”.
#1 is an ends goal - the gentleman wants to gain real enjoyment,
knows he gains it from being in the spotlight, and knows being
great at storytelling helps him steal the stage.
#3 is an ends goal - the gentleman wants to gain professional
success, knows that being able to communicate well helps him
achieve professional success, and storytelling helps him refine his
communication.
And when you boil down to it, almost everything we try to do is a
means to a greater end - happiness.
So…?
A lot of guys think one particular skill is crucial and they’re
hell-bent on learning it. A lot of people without formal social
training spend time to learn just one facet of the game. They
become “master openers” without learning the rest of the skills
they need to get what they really want - quality partners and
excellent companionship, a healthy, happy sex life, and a
supportive, enlightened social circle.
Most guys don’t have a clue at what it takes to be attractive to
the fairer sex and achieve real social success, so they set goals
like “get a really expensive car cuz it’ll help me get chicks” -
yeah, not so much.
Instead of working on one specific “mean” that might be the answer,
figure out what the ends are and build around them. What do you want,
and why? Once you know that, you can move forwards and develop the
skillset you need to get success.
In terms of getting women, to attract them you need to have some
value about you, be able to communicate that she has a chance to
get that value, and know how to make her work and invest time and
energy into getting you. That’ll get her attracted.
How you get those basic three elements are up to you - I suggest
doing stuff that you otherwise greatly enjoy, since it helps you
with that other big goal - happiness. There’s no one right way to
do it here, so work on developing skills that you find enjoyable
and know why you’re working on them - and you’ll be well on your way.
“Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
Keep playin’,
Sebastian
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