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I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. I am fascinated with improving our general well-being. It can be done. It must be done. Find me on Facebook, lets talk more.

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Dan, after speaking with you and now reading this, I’m getting a
feel for a consistent vibe that I think you’re putting off,
especially doing direct:
1.) you’re not confident enough to pull off the strong direct
opener
2.) you’re expecting her to pick up a lot of conversational
slack far too soon

But its cool, we can deal with both of these issues. We’re
going to split this up into two parts:
1.) Delivery Confidence
a.) nonverbals
b.) word choice

2.) Post-Delivery
a.) justifying the opener
b.) your energy
c.) the “non-transitionables”

DELIVERY CONFIDENCE - NOVERBALS
The key here is as follows: Your intent and your nonverbals
must be as direct as your words.

I use direct stuff like this all the time, because it gets right
to the point. But it takes a strong man to pull it off. Look her
in the eye. Say it with a sexual intent. Show her you take her
seriously

So when you’re walking up to her, you make direct, intimate eye
contact (review the Vibe Mastery Newsletter “Getting the Look”).
The look and vibe you’re emanating is very direct - no BS, very
strong. But also warm. You’re very much *in control* of
yourself and the interaction. She knows that you’re not there
to mess around and that you see her as a woman, not a girl.

DELIVERY CONFIDENCE - WORD CHOICE
Based on the conversations that you and I have had (and what I
know about a lot of other guys I’ve worked with), direct is
tough because you feel like you’re giving up control to a
woman - taking a risk, putting it all on the line. With the
proper nonverbals and delivery, this couldn’t be further from
the truth. Direct gives you almost complete control, because
you’ve stated your interest, and if she accepts your interest as
legitimate, she’s essentially agreed to continue talking to you
on your terms.

So now let’s look at your word choice: “I really like your
style, it’s really crazy and fun.”

Not bad - you’re justifying your interest in something about
her. But it is still very noncomittal, and pretty vague.
You’re not giving yourself a lot of control with such
generalities. How about something else?

“I love your style. You’ve got a great look - you must be very
creative.”

“I have to say - the way you’ve put your outfit together is so
creative. I love your sense of style.”

“Your style really stands out amongst everyone here, and I had
to get to know the person behind such a great outfit.”

POST-DELIVERY - JUSTIFYING THE OPENER
Now let’s talk about the transition out of that opener, assuming
she accepts it and says something like “oh, thanks.” In your
example, you’re jumping right into “interview questions” about
where she’s from, maybe what she does, etc… The problem here
is that you’ve thrown away whatever credibility your opener gave
you to talk to her, because you’ve not followed up on the
attribute on which you’re complimenting her. So let’s run
through a sample here that presents a better alternative:

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