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YOU: “Hi there, I saw you from across the room and I have to say
- the way you’ve put your outfit together is so creative. I love
your sense of style.”
HER: “Oh, thanks…”
YOU: “Are you in the fashion business, or did your eye just
develop naturally?”
HER: “I guess it just kinda developed on its own.”
YOU: “That’s awesome, you definitely stand out in here. What’s
your name?”
HER: “I’m Danielle”
YOU: “Hey Danielle, I’m Daniel. Really cool to meet you.”
All of a sudden things are much warmer. Your opener has been
justified by your interest in the follow-up questions and is
congruent. Now you can move along to other topics like you hear
us all do on Master the Vibe.
POST-DELIVERY – YOUR ENERGY
Ok Dan, having spoken with you, I can see where this part of
your example comes from:
“(awkward pause) Ummmm…So where are you from?”
You’re a high energy guy. But in your head, you’ve just dumped
a lot of control onto the girl, and now you’re backing off and
hoping that she’s going to take up the slack. But let’s reverse
the situation (and if this hasn’t happened to you yet, get a
better haircut and some cool outfits). A girl comes up to you
out of the blue and says she likes your style. How would you
respond? Would you just start chatting about something with
her? Or would you be a little surprised, and need a second to
compose yourself?
Very few girls hear a real, genuine complement delivered in a
way that makes them believe it. When they do, it takes them
aback. So be prepared to transition into something else right
away. There should be no pauses, no akward silences. You
shouldn’t be expecting her to pick up on the energy just yet.
Its kind of like you’ve just popped someone with a taser, and
you’ve got to carry that person along for a second while you
wait for them to regain consciousness (note: please DO NOT use
tasers on women you’re talking to. This is illegal).
Keep giving energy to the interaction. If she accepted your
complement, keep flowing with a positive energy until she catches
up to you.
POST-DELIVERY – THE “NON-TRANSITIONABLES”
Thus far we’ve been using your opener on her style. This is
something she has developed and cultivated, so it is easy to
compliment her on it. And you can transition into questions of
how it developed, or mini cold-reads, like “you must be
creative.” But what about when you’re complimenting her on her
looks or some trait that she was born with? These are rare -
even a nice smile can be followed upon with a question about
whether she had braces. But in general, anything about her
overall look, beauty or energy falls into the category of what I
call “non-transitionable” direct openers.
“Hi, I just had to come over and say hello. You have an
incredible look – like a soft beauty – its very unique.”
“Excuse me – the way you move through this room – you have this
energy that is so attractive.”
“I have to tell you – you’re one of the most beautiful women
I’ve ever shared airspace with.”
These are intense and you better say them with some confidence.
But where do you go afterwards? Well, you have a few options.
You can use the line popularized by Style – “But one thing I’ve
learned is that beauty is common. Its more important what’s on
the inside. Wouldn’t you agree?” I don’t remember exactly how
it goes, but its not great right after such a strong opener.
You’ve already put her on the spot, and now you’re qualifying
her. Not likely to make her feel exactly comfy and cozy with
you.
You can go right into your transition. The only problem is that
it doesn’t allow for enough space for your complement to sink
in:
- “Wanna dance? (at the club)
- “So are you mailing classified documents to china, or are
those homemade brownies for your kid brother?” (at the post
office)
- “What brings you out tonight?” (at a bar)
But the best option here is to introduce yourself, then go into
your transition. It lets her warm up to you more, and for your
opener to sink in, before transitioning.
“Hey I gotta tell you – I wasn’t even planning on being out
tonight but I’m happy I came – you dance incredibly and it has
made my night to see you just now.”
“Wow, uhhh… thanks!”
“What’s your name?”
“I’m XXXXXXXX”
“Cool, I’m Christian. Are you with a promoter tonight, have a
table, here with friends…?”
That conversation happened verbatim at a club here in NYC called
Marquee, a few months ago. The girl was a model – dancing on a
couch – and things worked out well between her and I.
So Dan, I hope this answered your question and all the possible
permutations. Kind of a long answer but I didn’t want to leave
any stones unturned.
Let me know how things work out and if you want to hop on the
phone again. And as for you Tony, hope this was helpful
for you too.
MASTER THE VIBE UPDATE
All of July’s discs have shipped out. If you’re in Malaysia or
Singapore, it might be another week before they reach your
doorstep.
Also, look forward to receiving our August episode much sooner -
probably in the second week of the month – full of openers and
transitions to hook points.
Finally, Sebastian and I have settled on our plan for our
birthday celebration – can’t wait to share it with you.
Cheers,
Christian
Hear Christian opening sets live on Master the Vibe hidden mic pickups
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