私は私の最も悪いごまかす物語のきのうの主題を続けようと思っている。 私が私の心に再びこれらの物語の土曜日に近い方にますますぽんと鳴っている得るように。 私はHalloween今年の党が私の最も悪いごまかす物語の来年のリストを。作らないことだけを望んでもいい。

3. 私はずっと友人とのである この女の子 数年のため。 私達の友情は説明できなかった何かだった。 私達の両方は愛に互いにはっきりあったが、私達のどちらも是認でそれを与えない。 従って私達は友人として続けた。 But as time went on I was getting more and more attracted to her. It was pretty much to the point where I couldn’t hang out with her anymore cause I wanted her so bad.

I had finally decided to throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they will. We were heading on a ski trip together with several other friends. I decided that I was going to make my move on this trip. The first night on the trip I do everything right. Things go exactly as planned. We kiss. Life is good.

Over the next four days of the ski trip we are like a couple of love struck kids lying in bed spooning telling each other how good this feels.. blah blah blah… I think the L word might have even been said once or twice.

Well, we get home from the trip and I start getting panicky. Things were so good for those few days that I felt like they were a dream that I woke up from and couldn’t return to. So when she flaked on me a couple times I got down right desperate. I was pretty convinced that she regretted what happened on the ski trip so I did what Bobby Rio does best: I went out and revenge fucked one of her co-workers. Gina was a 17 year old hostess at the restruant this girl worked at. I was about a bottle deep in SoCo when it happened, and I remember having that brief moment of clarity where I realized I was fucking up four years worth of hard work for one night with this hostess, who was clearly too young to know how to fuck good anyway… But I ignored by better sense and plowed on.

Gina couldn’t keep her mouth shut for even a single day. I got a text from this girl the next day that read “You fucked the hostess. Nice.”

Everything that I wanted for so long was ruined in one drunked night. Sure, months later I hooked up with her again… but it was never the same. I tried to explain how I only did it because I was feeling vulnerable and weak… but she was a very prideful girl and there was no way she was going to date a guy who fucked 5 of her co-workers (yes Gina was the 5th)

4. My fourth story I’ve actually referenced in this story I wrote awhile back. Everyone has “the one that got away” well for me that girl was Beth. We dated for three years in college and we were like the class couple. King and queen of Homecoming.. all that shit. The kind of couple that made other people nautious. We were going to get married. Make babies. Live in a great big house with a white picket fence…

Then she got titties. Yes, she got breast implants. She went from a hot girl to a smoken hot girl.. And over night she was a different person. Her side of the story will involve details like “he takes me for granted,” “he seems bored with me” “we drifted apart” But trust your faithful narrator… it was the titties.

Instead of rehashing the story I’m going to just insert the relevant section from “Bobby’s Bad Karma Continues”:

I am driving my Mercedes down the highway. Im compulsively dialing a number on my cell phone. I keep getting a stupid voice mail. I leave angry messages. I pull up to a house. I realize someones car isnt there. I park my car. I fall asleep in my car. I wake up the next morning to the sound of a car door slamming. I see a girl get out of a car and walk to her house. I run after her. I demand to know where shes been. I yell, threaten, curse, name call, and then I get calm. I watch her walk away. I walk back to my car. I decide against leaving. I run back to her house and bang on her door. I yell in to her. I kick the door repeatedly. I notice a neighbor watching. I try to leave again. I turn back around. I go to the side of her house. I yell at the window. I use the words bitch, cunt, whore, and slut a lot. Then I leave.

So there it is. Before this I was different.

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