About the Author
Richared La Ruina from Pua Training sent me this short article on turning a friend into a lover. A lot of people think its impossible. Its not. I’ve done it. Reading this pay close attention to #4. The last thing you want to do is declare your love for your friend. This will put her on the spot and force her to make a decision. If she feels forced she will most likely make a decision you don’t like. I made this mistake once. Luckily, instead of giving up, I continued building attraction until ultimately it just happened.
By the way Richard has a new book out being sold on Amazon that might be worth checking out.
Making a Friend a Girlfriend by Richard La Ruina
1. Use Attraction Builders
If you are interacting with her on the same level as her females friends, her auntie, and her gay best friend, it is no wonder she doesn’t consider you for a potential boyfriend. Build attraction by teasing her: make fun of her - the desired response is that she laughs and hits you at the same time. Use challenges - ask her challenging questions about her character and what kind of person she is and either approve or disapprove of her answers. Alternate breaking rapport and connecting - break rapport on surface level interests - if she likes Harry Potter, feel free to say that it is lame. If she has something you genuinely like, tell her. Mix things up.
2. Present Yourself as a High-Value, Sexual Male
Pursue other women, talk about your love life, your wants, girls you are attracted to. Do not be a-sexual, show that you are a sexual being. Have passions and interests and communicate them, make your world interesting and exciting and maybe a little mysterious.
3. When The Time Comes, Transition Correctly
So, you’ve built some attraction and interest if it wasn’t there already, now it’s time for action. You need to get her on her own, preferably in the night time, and you need to escalate physically. BUT, you need to do it playfully. Tease, poke, prod, tiggle, play-fight. This is just as good for building sexual tensions as other types of touching but is more non-threatening and low pressure. After a while, stop, look at her, and feel if it is on or not. If it is, the kiss can happen.
4. It has to “Just Happen”
If she has already classified you as a friend, it’ll be a big shock to suddenly have you declare your love. It needs to “just happen” instead and this is how to do it. If you try this and it isn’t on, then you haven’t risked a huge amount and don’t have to lose your friendship - she can always introduce you to her friends!
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December 4, 2007
I like the strategy…can see how it works…but how do I get a hot female friend!?!?! lol
December 4, 2007
Mike,
We did a podcast about creating a circle of female friends you might want to check out. The best quick advice i can give is make friends with girls the same way you would guys. Talk to them the same way. An easy method i use when first meeting a girl i want to be friends with is mentioning my girlfriend (even if i dont have one) girls love guys with girlfriends because they dont have to worry about the guy hitting on them. You pretend for a bit… then phase it out.. But the key is treating them the way you would your male friends.. very few guys do this so when you do they will be eager to befriend you.
December 4, 2007
Great advice, I can attest to this. One of the good posts from this website. My current g/f told me that back when we were just friends, I used to be a shy, boring guy. Then I went out and started teasing her, making fun of her, being funny all the time and generally giving her the image that I didn’t care for her, while always making sure that she saw me around campus with my other female acquaintances. I started spending a lot of time making sure I looked good too. It drove her crazy and she ended up asking me out.
December 4, 2007
Nameless,
this works great in college when there are so many other girls to act as jealousy tools.
Isn’t great when your dating a girl and she opens up about how she used to see you. Its a chance to get some good honest feedback.
December 7, 2007
From own experience: point 4 is KEY. Never ever go declare your feelings for her.. this is the most AFC thing you can do and she will defo tell you she just likes you as a friend and no more.
You really need to seduce here, ‘let it happen’.
In this case booze can help
Last week I had a gf which I know for ages over at my place to watch a movie and get drunk together. And drunk we get! at some point my drunky mind came up with the idea of.. yeah I know, how original.. hand reading. Due her drunken state she was OK with it and before I knew she was touchy as hell. The drunk part is a great ‘excuse’ for her to go further. She can then later tell it was the booze.
But well.. if your in the friend zone you have fucked up it for sure for starters, and you really need to make some serieus changes if you want to get her attracted again.
Fry
December 11, 2007
I use to have this female friend for severeal years that I was trying to fuck and never got anywhere and after awhile I quit trying and started picking up girls around her and talking about our sex and then after a while we were hanging out and started playfull wrestling and all of a sudden she just started to kiss me which lead to sex that same night which I always put off as me having that I don’t give a fuck attitude….sad to say she was a bad lay(she just laid there) and we are no longer friends
December 12, 2007
weird, i’ve noticed that too.
its like the more you start to forget about them, and the more you begin to pursue other girls (and have them pursue you back of course),
its like a magnet just automatically attracts them straight to you all of a sudden..
thats why whenever i see an old fling that i never went anywhere with, i always make sure to start talking to the hottest girls around and then introduce them.
December 12, 2007
its cuz they want what they think they can’t have as soon as u act like they can’t have u they want u. that’s why I mainly make them qualify themselves to me
January 8, 2008
I followed all these steps except for the “let it happen.”
I have no problem teasing and busting balls. that’s always been a part of me.
Pulling the trigger is another sticking point of mine. Sometimes you just need to go for it. It’s amazing how the heat and passion of a moment can change all logic, opinions and emotions entirely.
-Seraf
March 19, 2008
Check this link in the FR section -http://www.theseductionbible.com/field-reports/topic.php?id=15&replies=7
its a question I have regarding Athena’s post about how one person in a friends with benefits relationship always seems to get feelings for the other - I cant figure out why just one does and not both. - Its particularly relevant to my situation - as the guy who has developed the feelings.
June 18, 2008
yeah I want a single mom to be my girlfriend can I put her in the friend zone for a little while til I’m ready to begin dating her and get her chasing me after I stop talking to her for a while of cousre after I get her really interested in me before I stop contacting her for a while.Anyway will she chase me even though she has a child.I really like her plus she’s not from my town she just move here by herself.