Había planeado originalmente escribir un poste contemplativo largo que entraba el detalle enorme sobre la lucha eterna entre ser solo o ser en una relación. Iba a atacar cosas como comedias románticas y a hacer estallar las canciones para torcer mi opinión sobre cómo el amor se supone para sentirse. Iba a analizar mi “nunca lo dejo conseguir” mentalidad demasiado cercana y culparla parcialmente en mi sentido de la aventura que tira continuamente de mí a los lugares como Suramérica y México. I was going to declare that the institution of marriage is a dying concept built on outdated ideals. That in a digital world human beings need the freedom to live the life they dream… I was going to say all this and more while giving my reason why it ended with my girlfriend.

But the true reason is…. Bobby just can’t keep his dick in his pants.

In my defense I was presented with my own personal Kryptonite. I’ve mentioned her before in a couple stories. This girl is like no one I’ve ever met. She is someone who for the life of me I can’t figure out. We are soul mates who live the majority of our lives separate. But eventually some bond always pulls us back towards each other.

Besides the trip to Fortaleza I had only cheated on my girl twice. Once was a random girl I forgot immediately after. The other time was with Kryptonite. After that time I deleted her number from my phone. Apparently she must have deleted my as well because I didn’t hear from or see her since last May. Along time for a girl that in some respects was a best friend.

Well the weekend before New Years, my girl and I decide to go out to a local bar and have some drinks and check out the band. We are both putting the beers down rather quickly. I have to piss. I walk alone towards the bathroom in the back. As I’m about to enter the men’s room Krypotite walks out of the women’s room. We stare at each other in silence for a few minutes… kind of awkwardly smiling. The next thing I know I was kissing her outside the men’s room. I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop.

Then I remembered that my girlfriend was like 50 feet away. Odds were in my favor she didn’t see as the place was extremely crowded. But luck was not a lady that night. I turned around just in time to see my girl staring in tears, in disbelief, and ultimately running out the door.

There is no talking your way out of that. There is no denying. The only thing to do at that point is come clean. The next morning we had the talk. The one where I tell her she is a great near perfect girl, and I should be the happiest guy in the world. But I’m fucked up and can’t be happy… blah blah blah..

So I didn’t get Kryptonite’s number that night. It is still deleted from my phone. She won’t call. I probably won’t see her again for months, if ever. It is for the best as nothing good ever comes from her.

As for the New Years story… I’ll have to save that for another time as I am burnt out from thinking about this shit.

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