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Hoe te in Hoge School Populair te zijn

This is the 6th lesson in my “How to be Popular in High School” program. I highly suggest reading the introduction, and starting this program from the beginning if you haven’t already done so.

I will be releasing a podcast soon going over the first 6 lessons. If you have any questions regarding any of the lessons or how to best implement them, leave me a comment below, and we’ll try to answer them in the podcast.

Lesson 6 “Be Cautious of Jealous Friends“

This next lesson is another of the shorter lessons that focus more on an idea than an immediate action that you can implement. The topic that I want to explore is your current circle of friends.

I’ve mentioned previously that each one of you reading this program will be at different levels of the social high school hierarchy. It is important to be aware of where you currently stand on that hierarchy, as well as where your close group of friends fit it.

In an upcoming lesson I am going to explore how you should handle your rise in popularity in regards to the friends of yours that won’t be coming along for the ride. But today’s lesson is: Be careful of jealous friends.

I say this because if you’re doing all the things I’ve told you to do up until now, you have probably changed quite a bit in the last month. Sure, you may not be homecoming king material quite yet… but I’ve given you practical ways to improve your image, befriend popular kids, and be a cooler person.

Some of your friends will be threatened by your change. These friends will be negative towards your change. They will try to make you self consious about it. They will try to make you feel like you’re a fake. They will call you a poser.

The reason that they will attempt to halt your climb in popularity is because they don’t want to lose a friend. They are scared you will dessert them. AND they are jealous. They don’t have the balls to do what you’re doing and they secretly admire you for it. They feel a sense of self shame that they don’t have the same drive, ambition, motivation. And they are refleting their sense of self shame unto you.

You must ignore them. But you must be careful of them. These same “friends” can be poisonous to your rise if they turn against you.

You have two choices to make regarding the friends you currently have.

Bring them with you
Leave them behind

Like I said previously I will explore how to do deal with these friends in a later lesson. Today I want you to just be aware of why your friends might not be embracing your change. And your homework is to do a mental inventory of your current group of friends and start determining where they fit into the picture you see of yourself.

Homework

Start scanning through your current circle of friends. Start identifying which ones you are really friends with, and which ones are just casual friends that are lumped into your circle.
Think about which of your friends would be willing to do the program with you.
Think about which of your friends you genuinely enjoy hanging out with.
Think about which of your friends would be poisonous to your climb to the top.
Think about which friends would have the most power to humiliate you.

Thats it for today. Keep your eyes open for the upcoming “How to be Popular in High School” first 6 lessons review. If you have any questions don’t forget to leave them below.

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Comments

11 comments

Damien
January 31, 2008

THis lesson relates to becoming a pua as well. I’ve had to deal with friends who tried to discourage me.. who mocked my peacocking, they would cockblock me at bars..

eventually i stopped hanging out with them. Misery loves company and miserable people will try to bring you down with them.

I’ve gotten much better and scored with quite a few girls my friends were surprised at.. yet some of them still refuse to acknowledge that I’ve changed for the positive.

those are the ones you leave.

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FredEx
January 31, 2008

ive said this a bunch of times before.
used to have an entirely different circle of friends just a couple months ago, but because of alot of these reasons listed, i had to leave them behind..

in the end, im a better person for doing so. for now the sky is the limit.

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Johnny Blace
January 31, 2008

can’t wait for the podcast..

do you think its smart to tell your friends about this? I have this fear of people finding out.

I’ve been doing a lot of this stuff and it def helped.

my problem seems to be in my uncortableness aroudn the popular crowd. How do I feel less like an outsider?

[Reply...]
FredEx
January 31, 2008

Johnny,
i used to get that feeling too.. in fact, i used to pretty much hate being around the popular crowd. i guess it was the jealousy issue that i was in denial about, but the main thing you can do to help yourself become more comfortable around them is to make friends with some of them (or at least 1.. that way he’ll be able to introduce you to the rest and at least get your foot in the door)

from there, just observe how they act and try to model it. not in a loser/try-hard kinda way. just over time learn what they do and why they do it, and once you feel comfortable enough with it, you can start acting that way yourself. the main thing when you first start hanging around with them is be cool. dont act so needy or try-hard, as it will just lower your value in their eyes. just follow the lead of your friend who is already cool in the popular group, and as long as you dont fuck up, you’ll be In with them in no time.

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Teddy Bear
February 1, 2008

hey johnny the main reason your get uncomfortable is because subconcously your putting them above u, when you should have the mindframe that you equal or above them. its not an easy thing to do right away but trust me it makes a big difference

[Reply...]
Zeo
February 2, 2008

I got to an all guys school, but popularity is still important. Does anyone have any ideas about how I can still use these tips in a different way to climb the social ladder of an all male school?

[Reply...]
Bobby Rio
February 2, 2008

Zeo

use this program the same way.. minus the befriending girls.. what you want to do is befriend girls from other schools.. and introduce them to the guys you’re looking to hang with

Bobby Rio’s last blog post..Camila Alves May Be The Hottest Brazilian Model Yet

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Zeo
February 2, 2008

Alright, thanks man. Can’t wait until the podcast about the program!

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Seraf24
February 3, 2008

Neil mentioned something like this. When Oprah lost her weight, she lost friends too. Turns out, those friends she lost actually made fun of her and brought her down for losing that much weight. Her former friends actually needed Oprah to be fat in order to make themselves feel better.

-Seraf

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aLpHa_kaY. A.K.A: Kevin
February 3, 2008

Nice post, and i can’t wait for the podcast too.

This is kinda the tough bit of becoming a pua or a popular person..You gotta leave the friends behind who are dragging you down, even though you enjoy their company.
I have friends, who i try to bring them up, but they have too much pride..so i ended up distancing myself from them.

Owells, we all have different goals throughout life..

Pzz

[Reply...]
FredEx
February 3, 2008

Good point Seraf. thats what i love about Neil’s writing..
he always has a way to really connect with you by giving an example we can all understand and interpret.

[Reply...]