Держащ холодно, и вспахивающ на…
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фотоий характеристики

Каждо настолько часто я ударяю тот пункт куда времени приходит я нужно получить моего ишака назад в форме.  Я естественно ленив.  Но я могу обычно motivate в взрывах smalls. то позволяет меня держать decently после того как оно приспособлено.  Я расслабляю во время зимы, и после этого паникую ая весна когда маштаб начинает наклонить в неправильном направлении.

Так я имею начал один из тех малых взрывов мотивировки.  Я читаю форумы культуризма, buying the supplements, and working out again.

Tonight at the gym I’m all amped up after downing a super sized Red Bull.   That adrenaline rush usually puts me in a talkative mood, so with confidence sky high I turn to the girl on the elliptical trainer next to me and say “that is a really nice color on you.”

She was wearing this pale blue shirt that really brought out her eyes.

The second after I say it I immediately have that twang of self doubt… like ‘what the fuck did I just say?’  That feeling of doubt is only amplified when she looks at me like I have three heads.

She says, “Its just my gym outfit.”

My mind is telling me it was a stupid inappropriate moronic way to start a conversation.  I want to crawl away.

Instead I take a deep breath and compose myself.  You can’t lose on the opener.  Plow on.

“Never underestimate the power of a gym outfit,” I tell her.  “See that mirror,” I point at the mirror in front of us.  “I read that its a proven fact that the better we percieve ourselves to look while we’re working out.. the more motivated we become and the harder we push ourselves.”

“Oh yea?” she says.  Still giving me nothing to work with.

I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in a couple years, wearing an old beat up t-shirt, and gym pants with paint stains on them.  I look like I just rolled out of bed.

“For instance, I’m looking really good tonight.  Really really good!  And I’m having a great workout!”  I over exaggerate my motions on the machine.

This finally gets the girl laughing and smiling.

The interaction ends a positive note.  I don’t go for a number or even a name.  I’ll see her again.  And the next time I do will be one step closer to rapport.  Thats the way I look at gym game.  If you go to the gym the same time every day, you’re going to see the same girls.  The best approach is to mingle with a bunch of them, and casually build attraction.

The point of this post is that many times you’ll initiate a conversation and get dead air.  Its easy to get nervous and go into deer in headlights mode… instead compose yourself, take a deep breath and plow on.  Even naturals struggle with initiating conversations.  But they’re confident enough to keep going knowing that girls forgets your “opener” a minute after you say it.  Its everything afterward that counts.


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Comments

19 comments
  1. lance
    March 11, 2008

    I’m pretty fit and I make it a point to open girls in the gym. The gym is a guys natural habitat, so I find it automatically gives us a bit of a edge. It’s literally flexing your muscles and displaying your manliness. If I see a chick texting someone while she’s working out, I’ll say, “Are you gonna lift or just text?” Smile and she’s opened with you having an automatic DHV. If they’re wearing college or team gear, I’ll open with a comment about that.

    lance’s last blog post..Weekend Roundup: Thanks To Our Peeps Edition

  2. Bobby Rio
    March 11, 2008
    good point lance… if a girl has her phone out its a great opportunity to bust on her…
  3. Killswitch
    March 11, 2008

    play on playa

  4. Tee
    March 12, 2008

    Nice start, but you should make a move within the next few encounters or you’ll just be another gym perv to her!

    Tee’s last blog post..Your GI problems may be giving you a headache!

  5. Odin
    March 12, 2008

    This is exactly the kind of post that keeps me glued to this site. Really makes you think that even the cream of the crop get nervous or stuck sometimes, but that by perseverance success is inevitable.

    I have GOT to start going to my gym.

    Thanks.

  6. athena
    March 12, 2008

    i dont know guys, that gym thing is really tricky. i know a lot of girls dont even like working out in front of a guy, much less talking to them at the gym. sure there is a number who are there to socialize, but there are female-only gyms for more than one reason!
    maybe because they are self-conscious about their bodies or something like that, but for most women, working out is a vulnerable position. as a result, many really great and normally friendly girls go there with a MAJOR brick wall up.
    im not self-conscious, but i got to tell you, even if the hottest, greatest guy on earth came up to me in the gym, i would shoot him down. its worse than getting hit on at a funeral!
    then there are the girls are just BEGGING to be approached. and i dont know enough about those types of girls to say what they are like!
    so yeah, its totally do-able, but its one of the trickiest venues around. not all the same rules apply, and rejection abound. the kind of feedback you get at the gym is just not the same you would get anywhere else. i wouldnt recommend it for a guy who is just starting out, or who isnt REALLY confidant.

  7. Zeo
    March 12, 2008

    I find it totally difficult for me to open girls at the gym for one reason: THE IPOD. Girls ( and guys too) just put the head fones in and are in their own little world. They cant hear you and any attempt to get their attention will look try hard IMO.

  8. Keeping Cool, and Plowing On - Dating, Pickup, Seduction
    March 12, 2008

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  9. lance
    March 12, 2008

    @Athena: I think it’s just as tough/risky to approach women in gyms as in a bar. If you queue up a good opener, have the right BL, and bring the energy, she’ll open up no matter the venue or time of day. Bars are pretty friggin tough BTW, and I think gyms are a cinch by comparison. Another opener: “Hey, what time do you have?” Very neutral. Then, tell her she looks athletic and guess at what sport she might have played in school. Soccer, tennis, running, softball, whatever. It’s almost like a cold read and will buy you another minute or so.

    @Zeo: I hear ya about the iPod. It’s roughly the same as a day approach with a chick on the phone. Ask her what she’s listening to, give a HUGE smile, and wait for her to pull the phones off. This is a good BL exercise actually, if you can get a women to take off the phones and respond positively based on your BL and energy only then you’re gold.

    If you’re pumping iron, you should be in a good state from the endorphin rush. Use that natural positive state and do a couple of approaches at the end of your workout or just afterwards when you go eat. DO NOT compromise your workout to socialize. Don’t be one of those dudes who goes to the gym to talk and not lift.

    lance’s last blog post..Problogger readers get a free nudie pic?

  10. athena
    March 13, 2008

    lance: i agree that bars are tricky also. i also REALLY agree with you about your Ipod strategy.
    but i still stand by my statement that gyms are not for the new. i think gyms and bars are both hard - but for completely opposite reasons.

  11. Killswitch
    March 13, 2008

    Athena: I never thought about comparing the gyms and bars…I actually think that bars are harder to game girls because the shields are all the way up, you know…i’m curious though as to why you say that you would shoot down a guy in the gym…

  12. Thumbs
    March 14, 2008

    gym wise, athena is right, a woman is at the gym because she feels self conciouse already so if you neg her your just going to hurt her, you need a strong opener and honestly, you could probably complament her if you want rapport.

  13. eddy
    March 14, 2008

    I’ve been thinking about this post for a least a few minutes now lol - here’s my take - opening is opening - you have to adapt your method for each different location and more importantly each different girl so I dont see why it should be any harder - each diferrent location has it’s benfiets and drawbacks - One big benifet for the gym tho is its a great environment to DHV - large open space where you can be visible to your target at all times with appearing like your deliberately in her line of site- you can demonstrate social proof by shaking hands with your gym buddies, you can show off your body if its decent - you can show consideration for others easily as your sharing equippment with so many people - and you have a reasonable excuse to be in close proximity to your like ie. the machine you want to use is right beside her- plus the point about her feeling vulnerable gives you a great opportunity to anchor the feel good factor to yourself by noticing her progress for example

  14. athena
    March 14, 2008

    why would i turn down a guy at the gym? because i went there to DO something, and that something is kind of personal. and yes, the same could be said about sitting at a doctors office, or going to the bookstore, or any of my other daily chores. the difference is when i go to the gym, i am aware that a guy will probably try to hit on me, and am already really resistant to it. when you talk to me at the grocery store, im not really expecting to flirt or play games, so my defenses are down and you have a much better chance of getting in. i mean, somebody who talks at the grocery store COULD just be a nice guy who likes to talk.
    this is how gyms and bars are similar - girls automatically assume that when you talk to them, you are hitting on them - and they are prepared for it. BUT, a bar is a SOCIAL place. i mean, thats its whole damned purpose: socializing and FUN. so even if i went to the bar with no intentions to meet anyone new, i know that idea is unrealistic. i WILL be talking to a stranger who probably wants to fuck me. its just part of the bar. so even though i may be resistant, i will sit through it. and if you are REALLY good, it will work. especially if you offer to heighten the FUN. and lets not forget the alcohol factor!

    you see, at a bar, even though i am resistant, i am accepting that at least SOME hitting on will have to be endured. and if you can heighten the experience (the fun), then i have a real reason to be open. but there is nothing at the gym you can heighten for me. you could only interfere.

  15. Teddy Bear
    March 14, 2008

    idk i never hit on a girl at a bar, but somewhat related i stopped a girl jogging b4 and she was really flaterd that i was attracted to her in her sweaty form. i think it would be how you set yourself up, I agree with Tee use several encounters with her to get her

    Teddy Bear’s last blog post..How to Talk to Younger Women

  16. roman123
    March 14, 2008

    i’m guessing this is the same way you build rapport when you meet people and you only see them for a couple minutes

  17. Killswitch
    March 15, 2008

    Ok, I see what you’re saying athena, thanks for the clarification. I do, however, agree with eddy. It’s all about how you approach. You shouldn’t negs as much in a gym because (as you said athena) the shields are already up. It’s best to make it indirect…waiting to use a machine, whatever…I wouldn’t follow the girl around though, lol

  18. Teddy Bear
    March 15, 2008

    lol i didnt mean bar it was suppose to say gym, but anyways

    Teddy Bear’s last blog post..How to Talk to Younger Women

  19. alphakay
    March 22, 2008

    I never tried gym game before, i usually work out at home or go play basketball/ other sports. Might give it a shot when i have free time.

    Strictly on topic: this is a good post, where ever you are, or what ever situation you’re in, you should always stay in a calm state - it will make you think more clearly, and from there you could plow on. - it might take a while fof a come back, but ATLEAST you said something that is worth saying.

    Pzz

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