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I got this newsletter today from Derek Vitalio and it is just TOO GOOD not to pass along. For years Derek has put out consistently great stuff, and his Seduction Science course is still one of the best bangs for your buck. This newsletter really reminded how underrated Derek is in the community.
This newsletter is jam packed with examples of how to react to some of the bullshit women will throw your way. He really goes into great detail in explaining how to handle the situations. Girls will give you shit tests… you need to be prepared. How you react to a shit test is what seperates the men from the boys. Its all about perfecting that confident playful attitude!
Passing Women’s Tests by Derek Vitalio
As you get better at talking to women, you’ll discover they set up hurdles to see how you handle them. Learn the right way, and not only will you be closer to where you want to be – you’ll become more attractive in the process.
Roadblocks
We’re going to talk about some roadblocks now. You may have the attitude and the moves – but there are always going to be twists thrown at you along the way.
Ever been stood up? Have a woman show up an hour late with little or no warning? Whine when she isn’t getting her way?
Suuuuure you haven’t.
Why does this happen?
The truth is, most of the time this sort of behavior is YOUR OWN fault. It comes from your initial meetings – either she didn’t have as much fun with you as she should have, or you gave an indication that you can be walked over, or she just plain didn’t get excited by you.
These are all things you can solve by perfecting your relaxed confidence and playful attitude. That’ll get rid of most flaky behavior.
But sometimes women do this just to see what kind of man you REALLY are. Maybe she wants to see you again – but refuses your first request for her digits.
She might say she does that because she doesn’t want to be seen as easy – hell, she might even believe it.
But what this REALLY does is reveal who she’s dealing with. How do you react to the pressure? Do you get nervous, defensive? FLEE? Do you bow your head, shrink your shoulders, and say “That’s ok, I was just wondering. Nevermind.”?
I used to. I also used to drool over my Gerber’s meals. Doesn’t mean I still have to.
Oftentimes the woman just wants to see if the confident face you’re presenting is for real. Women have tons of tests they use on men – most of them unconscious – but after being approached by hundreds or thousands of guys over the years, women need this sort of thing to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Don’t be thrown. Recognize it as a test, and don’t let it break your character.
Handling hurdles
Now, that doesn’t mean you get pushy. Lots of guys know they shouldn’t just cave in – but they swing too far the other way, and scare women off. You want to stay playful – like what she decides to do in any situation isn’t given huge importance in your life. You’re going to have fun regardless – and if she’s smart, she’ll join in, but if not, her loss.
So, if she rebuffs a digit query, PLAY with it. “Yeah, that’s a good idea. Truth be told, I just always wanted to write one of those “For a good time call…” messages in the little boy’s room.” Keep playing with her – that sort of an opening allows for all KINDS of fun – and then later say “Excuse me, I gotta use the bathroom (beat beat), what’s your number again?”
If you’re in a bar and the woman doesn’t want to be led to another area, feel free to TEASE. “Ok, the REAL reason I’m asking is because you look like you need the exercise. I was trying to be discreet, but now you’ll just have to do your laps by yourself.” Make sure you handle this playfully, and don’t be scared to throw her by SHOWING YOUR BACK.
That’s right, if she’s not playing along, there’s no better way to say “You’re no fun” than to withdraw attention. If you’ve done the job of piquing her interest, chances are VERY good she’ll work to get it back.
And that’s what you want. You don’t want to constantly try to please her – she’ll know it, slowly lose respect for you and set the bar higher and higher. And the farther you’ll bend over backwards to please her, the less she’ll like you.
It’s a strange world.
But if you make it clear that being boring, being difficult, or – worst of all – being (legitimately) bratty isn’t something you’re going to allow into your life, not only will you gain her respect and pass her tests, you’ll probably have to deal with such behavior a lot less.
A few more examples. If you’re on the phone and you’re lady gives you a wishy-washy “Maybe” when you set up a meeting, cut off the possibility of a no-show from the get-go.
“Listen, if there’s one thing I hate, it’s flaky people. You sound like you aren’t sure about this: if you’re not going to show, tellme now. That’s cool – but wasting my time isn’t.” A strong statement like that will usually shock a lady out of her doubt – or, worst case, you’ll find out early on whether she’ll be there or not.
She shows up late and gives the flippant insincere “Sorry.” What can you say?
“That’s alright. After all, now you owe me a drink, so I’m happy.
“By the way, my usual is a magnum of Dom Perignon.”
It’s all about attitude
You see what’s going on here? For the most part, you want to keep it light and happy, but you DON’T want to back down OR get upset. Your attitude should be “I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you’re welcome – but if you’re going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I’ll look elsewhere for interesting people.”
As the above statement makes clear, this isn’t just about early tests. If you’ve got a girl you’ve been seeing awhile but she starts getting negative or whiny, the same sort of thing applies.
I once had a lady I’d been seeing for about two months, when she emailed me a message saying she loved me, and asked if I loved her too. I responded playfully – made fun of her moving too fast like a horny high school boy.
She came back with “How could you sleep with me if you don’t love me?”
I responded “You’re getting way too serious. This is absolutely no fun at all.”
How’d it turn out? She wound up apologizing to ME! If you START playful and you STAY playful, you can lose all that negative crap much more easily than you think.
Not to mention, when you finally get to a point where you want to share a serious talk (NOT TOO EARLY DAMMIT!) you make it all the more meaningful.
Sorry… homework!
So what’s your job for this installment? Get out that attraction journal and mark a page “Tests” Write down every test you can think of – everything that’s happened to you or you can imagine happening. They can be things women do to find out about your true character – to find out if you’re real or just an act – or they can simply be things that test your cool and control.
Then, under each entry, write down ways you can KEEP your cool. Lines you can use. Images you can call up to help you stay in the right frame of mind. Triggers that bring out your relaxed happy self.
Leave plenty of space, because you’ll constantly find new tests (I still do), and you’ll also come up with better responses
over time. Plus, when you get a very confident sharp woman, these sorts of exchanges can go back and forth almost
indefinitely – and you don’t want to be the one to break the chain. When the sexual tension is being dialed so high, you need to have the confidence to keep bringing it FARTHER.
Trust me. She’ll end up ripping your clothes off. But you can’t change into a wimp in front of her eyes. It’s like a beautiful
woman smiling and revealing a mouth half full of black half rotten teeth.
MAJOR turn-off.
Learn to recognize these tests as opportunities – to pass, to get closer to your goal, and ALSO to TURN UP THE TENSION. Get comfortable here. It’s the best place to be.
And until it’s second nature, you’re going to want to keep PLENTY of notes in your journal about the journey.
I’ve seen ugly men, short men, bald men, broke men have their choice of women. Some got it while still a young man, other guys built up a reliable system later. And plenty have changed their life by heeding the step by step advice contained in my classic course, Seduction Science 3.0, All the processes involved in seduction are broken down into workable, easy to learn steps that REALLY work.
Enjoy.
Derek Vitalio
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This is was a very good article. Strange that I haven’t received it yet…but great none the less. I like the whole “I enjoy my life, and if you want to join the fun, you’re welcome – but if you’re going to throw bullshit my way or try to bring me down, I’ll look elsewhere for interesting people†mentality…I mean, it makes life so much easier.
These witty retorts are awesome. I’ll be sure to add them, with some modifications, to my repertoire of responses.
-Great Post
Javi
Javi_DC’s last blog post..Good Conversational Threads?
yeah this is awsome i’m actually pretty good with shit test but this new article will help me sharpen my ability and aim for the 9 and above
its not just shit tests this works for, either – its ANY behavior you dont want to deal with.
DO NOT be afraid to turn your back to them, or just refuse to deal with something. actions speak a whole lot louder than words when it comes to actually SHOWING a girl what kind of guy you are.
Tests are a difficult thing for me. There have been times in the past where I’ve perceived something as a test and reacted to it in an alpha manner, but then wasn’t a test.
A good point though – subconciously, the tests are subtle. It’s a skill to spot them. Practice, practice, practice.
The problem is when you face several shits tests in one evening..that gets too mentally exhausting…
question about a question : i often get the text message “what are you doing tonight?” . this is a very loaded question for me especially when i am interested in the girl. sometimes i will have fun evening plans and on other nights i’m just being a homebody. right now, my responses have a 50/50 success rate no matter which night i get the message. what are some ideas or suggestions for responses that could increase my successes and decrease the flakes? and what is she really saying and wanting to know when she asks this?
Take a look at Hot Alpha Female’s article. One thing that she said is that the shit test often stream from women’s insecurities. Instead of trying to figure out repsonses for the test, its better to understand that is an underlying message in what she is asking or saying. When they ask what are you doing, they are often trying find out how they fit into your life. Its really how you set the situation up. If you do things right they will be asking you to hang out.
sup guys! im kinda gettin out of a relationship and a little rusty on my game, but i was in a tattoo shop and a cute girl was flirting with me and my bro and she seemed to be the really dominant type thats used to getting her way with guys. well i wasnt putting up with her shit and i could tell it was working cuz my friend was sucking up to her and she would sit closer and closer to me while ignoring him BUT she always wanted a cig break and asked us to go. the first time i went immediately cuz i needed one but eventually she was askin us to come every like 10 minutes. my friend jumped at the chance but i tried to play it cool and i would make her wait while i looked really annoyed. i knew she was waiting for me because my friend would already be outside while she waited for me. i knew these were tests but i just wanted to know if i handled it right? was there a more alpha way i could have gone about the whole deal?
Sounds good to me Darryl.
the only thing you want to make sure you do is reward her for good behavior. For instace, if she does something you like.. say “i like that” almost as if she is winning you over a bit… but you are the judge… not her
thanx alot bobby
Attraction Journal? Writing down tests and how to counter them?
Since when did any real man have to piss around with all that sh*t?
A real man wouldn’t worry about passing any such stupid tests, and, would have the woman far too concerned about what SHE thought of HIM, rather than the other way around, for her to even begin thinking she has the upper hand.
Way too namby-pamby.
Correction: “would have the woman far too concerned about what HE thought of HER”