Alpha male is sort of a buzz word in the community. Every body is telling you that you need to act more alpha, or have the alpha attitude. But what exactly defines an alpha male”?
Below are some quotes from various Mystery Method instructors about what defines an alpha male. These quotes have some great practical advice contained within them.
What Makes an Alpha Male by Braddock, Mr. M, and Sheriff
- “Alpha males don’t look at the world to determine their behavior, or wait for social clues. They take their frame of reference from inside; they are authentic.”
- “The approval or disapproval of others don’t matter. None of that changes how an alpha male views his decisions or actions.”
- “An alpha male is a rock while a woman is an emotional rollercoaster.”
- “Don’t be affected by what a woman says. If you value yourself more than any woman, it doesn’t matter what she says or does.”
- “Don’t determine how you feel by how other people react.”
- “A real alpha male appreciates approval, but doesn’t need it. He doesn’t care what you think.”
- “Make yourself the center – the world around you is just part of your reality.”
- “Become a master of recognizing self-deception. Be honest with yourself all the time.”
- “Don’t be hurt by being blown out; see it as a way to improve. Take the frame that a blow out doesn’t affect your value but you can learn from it.”
- “You are the biggest barrier to your success. An alpha male doesn’t have these barriers to stop him, or he understands them and gets passed them.”
- “Being alpha doesn’t necessarily mean always being unreactive. You have to relate to the real world.”
- “Set your boundaries and be the person you want to be. The alpha male controls his reality.”
- “An alpha male is someone who makes others feel comfortable around him. He operates from a position of strength.”
- “Don’t be desperate to be respected. Respect yourself and be effective in what you do.”
- “Self-deception is the main barrier. Alphas don’t react.”
- “Master your emotions, don’t eliminate them.”
- “Actions determine beliefs. Live in your own reality. Own it.”
All of the best advice from these MM instructors on growing your game can be found in the groundbreaking book Magic Bullets.
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11 comments
May 25, 2008
Sounds a lot like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and self actualization to me. Unfortunately, I don’t think trying to become an ‘alpha male’ in order to get more women is a self-actualizing type of action.
The items on this list sound great and all when one reads them, but building a life around such an idea is a difficult task.
May 26, 2008
"Be honest with yourself all the time." - I think this is the most important one.
Be honest with yourself, respect yourself. Be honest with others, respect others. Suddenly people will be more honest with you, they will respect you more.
Great list.
Alex Kay’s last blog post..Why Gifts and Flowers don’t work for Creating Attraction - Only for Amplifying it
May 27, 2008
dude all this translates into is simply one word "Confidence". These are all traits that are exhibited by a confident person.
May 27, 2008
Eric says ‘ … but building a life around such an idea is a difficult task.’.
Who ever said it would be easy or quick? Apart from some irresponsible advertisers :-)
I’ve been studying and applying game properly for about 8 months. I have not paid for anything except my original copy of ‘The Game’. There is a lot of free public domain material and blogs if you have time to Google and collate the results into some kind of framework you can digest (I wrote it all out in my own words).
After that time I am not some kind of super babe magnet - but I regularly get IOIs, attraction and closes: especially the last 5 months. I have obsessively read and be tried to practice the teachings especially of Mystery Method and Real Social Dynamics (and of course the TSB magazine and Blog). The RSD WIKI has some real gems. http://www.alexattitude.com rocks.
What I’ve learnt is that like anything worthwhile (learning to drive, an academic qualification, or a musical instrument), it takes time and effort. Effort to read and practice; time for your brain to ‘internalize’ the things you learn and try out. You seem to be getting nowhere - then suddenly out of the blue you go through some kind of phase transition to the next level.
Anyway, the whole Alpha Male thing *is* important. One important piece of advice from me: Just as how you feel affects how you act, HOW YOU ACT AFFECTS HOW YOU FEEL, after a while. So learning some of these alpha male behaviours and body language (along with lines and techniques, too, which can give you great confidence when they work - and they can) and **acting them** actually makes you **feel** different. It "just" takes persistence and effort.
In my case I was a fun, humorous, outgoing and potentially good looking AFC. But I was overweight and a performing clown, too eager to be liked and telegraphing too much desperation and an eagerness to please. I was popular with girls and guys alike. But I was not Attractive.
Then I lost 30LBs, started working out, got good hair and clothes all while absorbing and practicing techniques, lines, alpha beliefs and body language and most of all the whole Cocky Funny thing. I changed massively in those 8 months - but I’m still me - a generally likeable guy. I still have the same friends. After a while they will buy into your gradually changing reality.
If they don’t they are not your friends.
Also Cocky and Funny can be scary. You need the Alpha stance and presence to go with it. It helps if you have some good looks/physique. In my opinion improving your looks and physique plays a massive part in how you both feel and act. C&F feels risky. Alphas don’t care. Its just a game. If you mess up, no-one dies.
I have offended the odd girl (and boyfriend). BUT for 80-90% of girls the insults or crazy things I’ve hurled at them (’I eat girls like you for breakfast’ as my second or third sentence in the conversation) have resulted in a shocked giggle.
And giggles mean attraction.
In more than half they have resulted with her locking eyes with me and massive interest from that point on. And in some cases HER asking ME for an x- (and in one case an f-) close before the night ends once they know I am Alpha and don’t care and just want to be me in my own reality and will make her giggle and make her feel safe if she steps inside it.
Seriously.
But it takes time and effort and persistence and incremental changes. Its a Project.
I feel SO alive!!! But I know I can’t stop applying myself or I *will* go back to AFC ways!!!!
DON’T GIVE UP. KEEP *ACTING* THE PART UNTIL YOU *FEEL* THE PART. AND THEN KEEP ON ACTING *AND* FEELING!
IT WILL HAPPEN. GO ALPHA!
May 27, 2008
Great post!!
Its not going to be an easy journey by any means, but anything worth achieving takes effort.
And improving this area of your life has the ultimate payoff.,.,. something even money can’t buy.
May 27, 2008
hi, i would also like to comment on eric’s post. sub5tance is right - this is very similar to learning a foreign language or a musical instrument. its a useful skill, you will most likely be improving yourself by doing it, you will accomplish goals that are important to you, and be getting a little bit closer to who you truly want to be.
but this is not a "build your whole life around it" kind of thing. yes, it is VERY involved, and does require some life changes. but no-one claims it is the path to enlightenment. i have nothing but respect for men who take this path seriously. its HARD and involves a lot of looking at yourself and facing your fears. it gives you confidence. plus, these guys realize they WANT something, and are willing to admit they dont have the tools to get it. and they are actively working towards improving that. i dont care if it doesnt sound warm and fuzzy, or new-agey - what they are doing is RIGHT. more people out there should have the guts and determination to work towards what they want, even if it doesnt sound nice.
improving yourself in this way brings you a whole hell of a lot closer to self actualization than most things people spend their time learning!
May 27, 2008
How about a post titled, "How not to be spineless"
May 27, 2008
I have a question?
Whats the Boundry Between being in your own reality and making others feel comfortable, I mean should we focused on our self or focuse on others , and making them feel more comfortable? Because if you are in your own reality you live life to please no one and follow your own goals,then how can you make others follow you or comfortable around you?
Or should we focus on, making others feel comfortable means, talking about things they like, and making them feel better….
I always feel in conflict in how i should go along, when with others, worry about my self , talk my own things that i want, and not care about others, or make them feel comfortable, and let them talk about what they want, and make them feel good…
Whats the bright line?
May 27, 2008
Its more about your intention than your action. There is nothing wrong with trying to make someone feel comfortable, but your objective should be an enjoyable conversation for the both of you… If everything you’re doing is to win her approval than you’re not being your "true self" nor are you probably enjoying the conversation.
Mix it up… The goal is to make them feel comfortable in your reality. You’re not trying to offend anyone or act classless or rude… but in all honesty girls will feel much more comfortable around you if they sense that you’re being real, and not catering to their needs.
If other’s want to talk about a subject that you’re not interested in, you don’t have to be rude and try to change the subject right away, but you don’t have to be completely agreeable and yes everyone to death.
Its all comes down to being honest with yourself.
May 28, 2008
Bob says ‘Whats the Boundry Between being in your own reality and making others feel comfortable, …’
All I can say is: take a risk.
Its a little like jumping off a diving board (though I still can’t do that! LOL). What I have found is that for my entire adult life I have been the nice guy and always been really polite just like Mum (yes, I’m British) taught me.
What I found out since studying the game is that, somewhat surprisingly, I can actually be quite blunt bordering on rude and **people usually react well to it**. Especially women! Sure, occassionally you choose the wrong person, or mis-read the situation slightly but thats a minority case, in my experience.
I may have been lucky; perhaps I get away with it because my natural easy-going personality is always coming through and that gives my ‘target’ a vibe that stops them from being offended (they are just a little shocked at my audacity and attracted/interested instead).
My favourite line if I go a bit too far? In a quiet one-to-one, tender voice: "I was only teasing. And I only tease people I like". That makes the girl feel like you are giving her a bit of special attention (which they love) and it takes the edge off a bit and lets her know you just ‘want her to play’.
But you have to give it a try and then ‘calibrate’ to draw your *OWN* ‘bright line’. Once you start to see it working you will get a lot of confidence. Then you start to get even better reactions as your vibe just gets more and more magnetic to others.
Hey! This could be the start of a book ‘How to lose friends and alienate people’ by Sub5tance. I’m only teasing. And I only tease people I like
August 5, 2008
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