About the Author
This is the second day of our series 31 Days to Better Game. Today’s lesson on inner game comes to you from Love System’s instructor Cajun. You can read more of Cajun’s solid advice at his blog Cajun Spice or you can learn about attending one of his bootcamps at Love Systems.com.
Developing Inner Game by Cajun
Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. Its a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and its a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetimes worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level, that is, I cant convince you how to think or look at life differently, only you can, but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.
So what is it?
To me, inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. Im going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article youll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.
Experience:
When people ask me how I developed my Rock solid confidence, I always answer the same; Practice. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that its simply doing something that youve done enough times to be comfortable with. Its only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they dont talk to women! Its a negative feedback loop thats perpetuated by a fear of what might go wrong. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!
Think about it this way; when you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having, even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well this is the same thing, I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The first few weeks were rough; it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isnt easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it, dont get mad at her or yourself, dont go home, just accept that its a completely normal, and necessary part of the learning process. You cant make an omelette without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.
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Interesting. Have you guys heard of http://www.rockstar-dating.com. It sounds legit bu im not sure
Thanks for the article Cajum..
and for those who don’t know Cajun.. he doesn’t just talk the talk.. he walks the walk..
you can listen to our podcast with him and check out some of his infield pickups
http://www.theseductionbible.com/2008/04/24/tsb-presents-cajun-from-the-mystery-method-interview/
Bravooo! Great article!
Wow, this is some deep material. Thank God i;ve found this site.
great stuff cajun… you were awesome on Keys to the Vip… look forward to hearing more from you.
Abso-freakin-lutely awesome. This is a great post – thanks, dude. It rings so true with me. Its like the best times and results I’ve had when I’ve gotten into a mental state where I just don’t care what I say and somehow its all a game and so I don’t care about the repercussions. Once you’re in this state not only do you own the reality but you start to vacuum other people into it, too (especially girls).
I read somewhere once that Mick Jagger (allegedly) just walked up to a girl and said ‘I want to give you a baby’ and it just blew her away. We know how good with girls Jagger is. Sure he’s a rock star. But I suspect he’s a rock star and can say this kind of thing BECAUSE he is able to own his reality. And so can you, or I, if we work at it.
The only issue I still face is being able to summon this ‘I own reality’ state at will, and sometimes maintaining it. Its hard in certain social situations, and also when certain other people (friends) find the power it imbues you with threatening and try and deflate you.
But still, when you get in this ‘zone’ and it gets results it just feels SO good.
[...] Developing Your Inner Game From: http://www.theseductionbible.com Our favourite Cajun spices things up with a look at inner game. » more 1 [...]
[...] Developing Your Inner Game (day 2) : A Modern Men’s Resource – TSB Magazine This was a really good article. It talks about inner game and how to build confidence in a [...]
[...] article by Cajun on inner game Developing Your Inner Game (day 2) : A Modern Men’s Resource – TSB Magazine This was a really good article. It talks about inner game and how to build confidence in a [...]
really excellent, cajun. btw, your series on body language was some of the best i’ve read.
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