About the Author
This is the third day in our 31 Days to Better Game series here at TSB. The first two lesson dealt more with the thoughts that go through your mind and your inner game. Today’s lesson deals with whats on the outside.
Day 3
Updating Your Look by Bobby Rio
There is a misused phrase being tossed around in regards to attracting women… “Looks don’t matter.” The phrase should have been worded “Looks only matter so much.”
There is no denying that physical attractiveness makes it easier for attraction to take place. But you don’t need to be naturally good looking to make a good first impression.
If you’ve read The Game you know that the first advice Mystery gave Neil Strauss was to improve upon his look. He had the less than handsome Strauss shave his balding head, get a tan, grow a goatee, hit the gym, and change his wardrobe. If you’ve seen the before and after pictures you know what a drastic improvement these simple steps made.
Like Strauss says, “You’ve got to present your best self.”
I wrote a post a couple months ago called 10 Ways to Immediately Make Yourself More Attractive. I highly recommend reading over that list. The list includes simple to improve areas like skin color, hair style, smiling, posture and grooming tips. By just implementing these 10 tips you will begin to not only look more attractive, but you will begin to feel much more attractive.
What I did not include on that list but is equally important is maintaining a fit body. I’m not saying that you have to look like David Beckham… but you know deep inside if you’re body can be improved upon. If you look in the mirror and see things jiggling, there is no excuse not hit to hit the gym. If you’re unsure of how to lose that extra weight check out this article about shedding unwanted pounds… if you’re looking to gain some muscle read this article on bulking up for the summer. If you want further information on designing a weight loss/muscle gain plan read this free personal trainer program-the site has like five hundred articles on every aspect of weight training and nutrition.
After you’ve improved upon the areas of your appearance that needed some work… its time to update your wardrobe. I am not a firm believer in peacocking in the sense that Mystery and Style teach. But I do believe in using clothes and accessories as a way to attract positive attention. More importantly is dressing in a way that promotes your self confidence.
If you’ve got little or no sense of fashion than read through our men’s fashion articles here at the site. We’ve had a couple fashion consultants contributing articles to make your choices easier. If you’re still looking for more advice than I would recommend purchasing Brad P’s Fashion Bible.
If you still have questions regarding how to go about updating your life you might find an article I wrote for my How to Be Popular in High series helpful. Although the article was geared toward high school students there is advice on creating your image that can be applied to all age groups. The article also talks about creating a presence and takes quite a bit from the classic article The 7 Elements of Charisma.
Today’s Homework
Today you need to make the necessary changes to present your best self. No matter what area of your physical appearance (if any) needs an overhaul there is more than enough information contained in this lesson to get you well on your way.
Remembers just because “Looks only matter so much” you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to be lazy about your appearance. Would you be attracted to a girl who isn’t doing her best to present herself to you?
Read More:
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June 13, 2008
I’ve improved many aspects of my appearance *and* behaviours and seen some great improvements in the result. Trouble is I’m not sure which aspects have had the most effect, and which others were just placebos.
I read recently one theory that how you look, what you say, etc etc is not important in attracting women.
Instead its the the way *you feel about* how you look and what you say that projects outwards and gets you attraction. i.e. its your level of self-esteem that is *everything*.
I think that has *some* merit, but I’m not fully convinced. I think you need a bit of everything to be consistently successful.
Importantly, my experiences are that women are attracted to looks more than the community -at- large often seems to think.
The good news for less attractive readers is that the vast majority of men ARE *naturally* good looking to women. Its just that many of them just don’t make enough effort to look after themselves which means they exist in an *un-natural* state: overweight, poor posture, poor skin etc etc. Just losing weight gives your face the symmetry, masculinity, and definition that many so called ‘naturally good looking’ men have.
In summary, after losing 30Lbs, doing 20 minutes of weights a day, and regularly cycling and running, and eating less fat and eating more fruit and taking vitamins, not only do I feel and act happier and more positive, with great skin and looks but women are opening/flirting with ME.
I think spending time on this is as important, if not more important, than learning lots of canned routines to get *attraction*. Of course building subsequent comfort and rapport is something else …
June 13, 2008
I have improved my fashion sense so much in the last year…no more baggy clothes for me. I do, however, have a goal of reaching the style the Robin Thicke uses, classy. If you look at his videos and pics you’ll see that he uses some peacocking with accessories and he mixes this up with a touch of class…this is what i want to reach
-KillSwitch
June 13, 2008
Sub5stance
You dead on… most guys are attractive to women.. they just need to be more confident in their appearance and dress themselves up better.
this is even true for us in regards to women… there have been chubby girls I’ve been sexually attracted to because of the way they carry themselves and present themselves.
there is no reason guys shouldnt be doing the same thing.
June 14, 2008
I’ve had the craziest transformation into a peacock/style “master”.
In middle school i wasn’t even the typical Abercrombie dude, i just dressed like shit. My hair has always been the worst thing and it was sorta a fro lol (and I’m asian so it makes no sense). So my first transformation was into an Abercrombie dude cuz I thought that was “fashionable”. So I bought clothes from AE hollister and A&F while I was learning game. As I got more adnvaced, I found out that this stuff isnt stylish but was the norm.
So I started studying fashion ( not peacock but actual fashion and style) and incorporated it into my life. I dressed with original clothes that fit, stopped wearing baseball hats, got accessorized and recently I got a faux hawk. I wish I did this before because my confidence and inner game is at an all time high. They say, if you work on ur inner game ur outer game will benefit. This can be used inversely too. If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good ur more confident and game better.
June 16, 2008
Brad P. is awesome!
The man has definitely affected my game.
-Seraf
June 16, 2008
Zeo says: ‘They say, if you work on ur inner game ur outer game will benefit. This can be used inversely too. If you look good, you feel good’
Trouble with using Outer Game to influence inner game is that its a bit hit-and-miss and transitory. Building inner game from the inside out means that you feel and act good more consistently. Its hard, though. In my heart-of-hearts I know that I still tend to rely on outer game (how I look, routines, game-plans, how others react to me) to affect how I feel (i.e. things that stroke my ego) rather than true, core self-esteem and an entitlement to own reality.
Still having a goal is as important as achieving the result, I guess.