Estamos en el 10mo día de nuestro 31 días para mejorar el juego serie. Las últimas lecciones se han ocupado de mejorar sus habilidades de la conversación. Los muchos del consejo sobre mejorar habilidades de la conversación han incluido la idea de hacer las mujeres risa. He preguntado a Barry Kirkey (Extramask, veintiséis) de Revolución 31 para escribir una lección sobre desarrollar su sentido del humor. Barry está enseñando actualmente a Fundamentales de la comedia Bootcamp.
¡Siendo más divertido - ríase le! by Barry Kirkey (Extramask)
Every woman likes a positive man, and often, positivity takes the form of a good sense of humor. The problem with giving anyone advice about how to become funnier, is that humor is universally subjective. Meaning, every culture, sub-culture or individual decides what is funny on their own. Yeah there are exceptions, people can be told by popular media what they think is funny, but you’re not one of those people because you’re reading this article.
Here are some things you can do to become funnier, in chronological order:
First, find out what you like. A sense of humor is as unique as your own DNA (simile). They are usually a complex combination of joke types, body language, interest in shows/movies, and so forth. This step should normally be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how so many people dislike comedy.
Once you find out what you like, expose yourself to it. Watch those shows and movies that you love. Watch them alone or with friends and family. Learn how to laugh out loud when you watch them, even if you’re by yourself. I would caution you, however, not to “force it down,” meaning if you’re not in the mood to watch a comedy show (sitcoms, late night, etc.) then don’t watch it. If you have the problem of never being in the mood then you need to find out why this is the case.
Note:
If you’re never in the mood to laugh, you may have other issues that are keeping you down. I suggest you speak to a psychologist, doctor or other professional that can determine why your mood is always down. You might be surprised to learn about what prevents you from doing what you love. This can be something as serious as depression or anxiety. However, it can also mean that you’re still, subconsciously, dealing with unresolved matters in your life (such as, a fight with your dad 6 months ago and you haven’t talked to him since).
After enough exposure, you’re ready to take it to the field. Try to avoid copying other jokes directly – those Borat impressions are no longer funny, so don’t do them. Unless you’re a naturally funny guy – then you can get away with it, but that’s a whole different article. If you must copy, use a variation of what you’ve learned instead. For example, if you want to do a Seinfeld joke, don’t just start quoting the show. Do your worst and most annoying Seinfeld voice and exaggerate a Seinfeld-type joke as much as you can. Make it ridiculous and unexpected.
While all this is going, laugh at your own jokes. Laugh as much as you can and absorb the criticism of others by laughing even more. Here’s why: Laughing is infectious. The more you laugh, the more others around you are likely to laugh as well.
Not only that, but let’s consider the whole theory of conditioning by association. If you’re consistently around the same people, doing jokes often, and laughing often, people will associate you with laughter. When this happens, you’ve won the game – you’re known as “the funny guy.”
“But Mr. fuckface (me)! How do I use this to get girls!?”
Just by statistics, most people end up in quality relationships through other people that you already know (i.e., in the office, friend of a friend or family member). So you get the immediate benefit of being “the funny” guy in your own social circle that way.
“But Mr. fagotface (me)! What about girls you don’t know?!”
Okay, that’s definitely more difficult, but not impossible. With cold approaches, first impressions are the only thing you have, so make it count. Start off with the best jokes you have, make sure you laugh and you smile. If she looks down on you, make a friendly insult, “wow – someone dropped their funny basket in the toilet today!” and walk on to the next person.
If you end up forced into a situation with someone who doesn’t respect your humor then this is particularly challenging, because you can potentially make an enemy without knowing it. Similar to what happened with Darth Vador, it’s difficult to turn someone from being your enemy to your friend, but not impossible. I won’t go into this situation now, because that is a discussion for those who are already polished and comfortable with their own sense of humor…
Dun dun dun! Anal.
*For further information on developing your sense of humor check out Barry’s Fundamentals of Comedy Bootcamp or read Stanley Lyndon’s How to Be Funny book.*
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June 24, 2008
Good article - but I don’t agree with some of it. I think women find men more attractive when they don’t laugh at their own jokes. That is someone who has a drier sense of humour. Laughing at your own jokes subconciously makes others think that you need to pre-empt them because you don’t feel confident that the joke or comment can stand on its own.
Also - women don’t necessarily laugh because you’re funny. They laugh because they are attracted. If they are reasonably strongly attracted they’ll laugh at just about anything you say and do and use it as an excuse to kino you etc.
Just getting laughs purely from jokes/humour can still land you in the LJBF zone. Sure the odd one liner or witticism is fine. But I’d concentrate on Cocky/Funny teasing, vocal timing and tone, alpha body language/dismissiveness and a dry wit to attract her and make her laugh because of those, where possible.
Also if you make an enemy because of your humour - that’s their loss - don’t sweat it or chase round trying to win them back too hard.
Just my 2 cents
June 24, 2008
This article is rubbish. Not only does it not teach the different kinds of humor, I flat out disagree with a lot of the advice on how to use it as mentioned by sub5tance.
June 24, 2008
I do agree that it would have been helpful to learn more about the different types of humor (maybe i’ll write a post about that soon) but i think what Barry was trying to say is go out and find a style you like.
Personally I like the Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman style of humor and watch their films to try to perfect it. But other guys I know go for more of the goofy Mike Myers sense of humor.. and that works for them.
The trick is to be the guy everyone is always laughing with (not at) Whatever style you choose it up to you.
FOr a more in depth book check out the link to “How to be funny” at the end of the article.
June 25, 2008
Umm, a little off on that one. As a semi-pro comedian, laughing at your own jokes is not recommended.
Otherwise, the article is good!
art of seduction’s last blog post..Become a Player
June 25, 2008
i agree with the not laughing at your own jokes. it seems kind of beta to me, like you’re seeking that person’s approval. As i’ve read in a few articles on the site, its good to write down funny jokes/stories and perfect the delivery/inflections that you put into them. They make for perfect awkward/tense moment breakers. For instance i work at a Walgreens and with the shit i’ve seen after working there for 2 years i’ve got a few stories to tell.
June 26, 2008
You can laugh at your own jokes and not lose an ounce of attraction. The problem is MOST of the time when people laugh at their own jokes they are doing it from a needy, approval seeking and uncomfortable place. Drop all of that fear based stuff and you can do anything including laughing at your own jokes.
I laugh at my own jokes all the time and have seen no difference in women.
Alex S’s last blog post..Leading and Some PUA Stuff