Thus, if you already have good fundamentals (BL&T and basic inner game), and you want to shave massive amounts of time off your seductions, you’re better off pulling the girl in more frequently than pushing her away because the chances are good she will give in more often than not.
Ah, but Asian Rake, when you push a girl away, doesn’t she want to pull you in? Isn’t that the whole point of pushing her away? So you can get her to chase you?
Yes, to a certain extent, this is true. That’s why you SHOULD STILL PUSH. That’s the all-important 20%. In fact, by pulling most of the time, when you do finally push her away, it’ll feel that much more powerful to her.
If you’re a dominant guy, girls will feel pressure to follow your orders, and unless she’s very dominant herself, chances are good that she will NOT pull you in return every time you push her away. Chances are good that if you are a dominant man, when you push her further away, she will follow your lead and remain further away.
Assuming the pushes and pulls are of about equal emotional intensity (that’s one variable I’m leaving out here), if you PULL more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re dominant, she’ll follow your lead and move closer to you emotionally and physically. If you PUSH more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re a dominant guy, she’ll follow your lead and move further away from you emotionally and physically.
Sure you can generate attraction with most combinations of push-pull. But what’s faster to sex? When she’s emotionally and physically closer to you, or when she’s emotionally and physically farther from you? It should be obvious.
This is how the best naturals I’ve seen get bathroom lays in less than 15 minutes.
It’s pull-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull to the bathroom.
2. By pulling more often than pushing, you can also create the deep emotional connections much faster.
If you’re continually pushing her away emotionally, however, how can she possibly feel an emotional connection? This should be obvious. A far more efficient way to develop emotional connections is to pull her in emotionally.
One very effective kind of pull technique is in conjunction with screening and qualifying. If your Believability game is good then every qualification is actually a pull.
For instance, “Wow, you are really adventurous, I like that,” said in response to her little adventure story, is a great example of a pull.
When you stack enough of these, she’ll feel like you really appreciate her for her unique qualities. She’ll be saying to herself, “Wow, this guy really, truly, sincerely likes me for my special qualities.” And of course, she’ll want to open herself up and continue connecting with you.
Btw, this is also a key technique for creating the kind of emotional connections that will get girls to fall in love with you FAST. There are others, of course, like sharing secrets and using childhood regression, but this is one of the easiest to do.
Now let’s add the COCKY-FUNNY into the mix.
What exactly do I mean by Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny?
Once again, probably the best way to illustrate what I mean is through examples.
PUSH COCKY-FUNNY
The prime proponent of this is David D. Let’s first talk about the internal mindset behind Push Cocky-Funny. David D. helpfully lays it all out in his Double Your Dating:
I’m going to play hard to get, make fun of her, be indifferent towards her, and generally bust her balls as much as possible. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous, so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside, I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again.
You notice that with this mindset, you’ll be pushing her away a lot more than you’ll be pulling her in. David D. follows this up with some now classic examples:
I do crazy things, like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar, I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice, “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye.
Or say, “What are you doing at a bar for godsakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face.
I could go on forever, but you’re better off reading his ebook or watching his DVD series Cocky Comedy. Wow, I never thought I’d be plugging David D.’s materials, as if he needs to sell any more. LOL.
When most guys think “cocky-funny,” they’re thinking this kind of cocky-funny, which is what I call, “Push Cocky-Funny.”
PULL COCKY-FUNNY
This is my default style of cocky-funny, so I’ll give you one of my own examples.
I learned from a natural friend that this sort of thing is best done when you’re a bit over the top or dramatically exaggerated in what you say and in your facial expressions, tonality, and body language.
This took place near the coat check of a huge nightclub, which is just about the only place in the club where you can talk without speaking right into her ear. A super cute, long-haired beauty walks by, and I jump in front of her with my hands slightly extended in front of my chest in a “stopping” motion with my palms out.
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June 25, 2008
The book The Art of Seduction gives a great insight into why Rake’s can get away with this kind of behavior.
June 25, 2008
This is probably one of the best articles I have read on this site. Its like a Tyler Durden post (see http://rsdwiki.com/index.php?title=RSD_Classic_Articles#Tyler); innovative, deep, analytic, yet practical and very thought provoking.
Recently I’ve been somewhat confused - do I play cool and mean and hard to get (Mystery)? Or do I get ‘into state’ and act playful and crazy (Tyler). This article explains the two sides. Also it partly depends on context. The playful, 80% pull mode is great in a party environment. The cooler, more negative approach maybe less so.
The whole thing about adjusting cockiness based on your looks/body language etc is gold, too. Something I may have fallen foul of.
Finally this article encoraches on the edge of something I’ve become increasingly interested in (and would like to see an article about)… ‘Direct Game’ which is basically what these 15 minute natural closes are …
Anyway - excellent stuff and I thank you!
June 25, 2008
Bobby, I actually read and own “the art of seduction” and I must say, it is a great read. however, it confused me because it, in my eyes anyway, tells you to do things that are complete opposite to things that i read from David D, Mystery, etc. I probably just have to read it again, which I do plan on doing.
As far as this article, i really enjoyed it. It touches on the whole 80/20 thing and I really needed that explained…doesn’t mike talk about something similar in his e-book?
Anyway, I have a question. Not to come off as too cocky or full of myself, but i’ve been told plenty of times that i’m “hot”. my problem is, i don’t want to come off as too cocky when doing CF stuff, which is where the whole 80-20 rule comes in I guess, but i don’t want to come off too needy…where’s the balance?
-KillSwitch
June 25, 2008
Killswitch, The balance lies in the magical land called CHEMISTRY! No matter how good looking you are, if your not a challenge the girl will get bored(maybe after she slept with you) or whatever. COcky funny is what creates that subtext for banter and fun flirting. I found is really important in what you are communicating while you say it IE if you day “O I dont think you could Handle me . .” with a sly smirk and coming from a fun happpy place its good but that same line said without a smile or any enthusiam can be taken as very cocky. SO its all about the energy you project when you say it, that is your balance. You also dont want to over do the cocky funny because then you’ll just be seen as some fun party guy flirt but nothing more - trust me I’m in this stage with one chick and it fun but it sucks at the same time.
Peace
June 25, 2008
Great feedback, guys!
Bobby,
Yes, as you can tell from my name, I use a Rakish style, with a little bit of the Charismatic thrown in. I think Zan is also a kind of Rake. Almost all the naturals I’ve met who have super fast seductions are Rakes, and their girls fall really hard in love with them, too. I’m a very lazy and busy guy, lol, so I find the Rake to be the most time and energy efficient style, plus it’s just a lot of fun! Greene’s book is a wonderful resource, too.
sub5tance,
Thanks for the kind appraisal. Yes, I’ve heard that Mystery/Matador and TD/Mehow/Lovedrop have different styles and energy.
Energy, however, is a different question from the push-pull cocky-funny question. You can have high energy CF, and you can have low energy CF (like James Bond). Within the high vs. low energy continuum, you can also have more push than pull or more pull than push. My article addresses the latter issue of the proportion of push vs. pull and the variables involved. I haven’t addressed the energy question in this article, but that would be a good topic for another piece. Thanks for bringing it up!
I totally agree with you that it depends on the contexts.
Killswitch,
That’s a good question about the different types.
Greene’s book starts off with describing the various seductive character types. I’ve noticed that most guys just skip that section, but that’s my favorite section! Guys who do a lot of Push Cocky-Funny are mainly Coquettes, using Greene’s categories. Mystery’s style combines a bunch of different characters, but I’m confident in saying that the Rake is not among them.
It’s important to realize that there are many kinds of seducers and many different yet equally effective ways of attracting women. The questions to ask are: Which character type most appeals to me? Which character types would be easiest for me to adopt?
My article prescribes a more efficient way for certain types of guys (high value, good fundamentals, or good-looking). I feel like a lot of the community’s teachings are aimed at below average guys who have awful fundamentals and don’t come across high value. For guys like that, it can be very helpful to use Push Cocky-Funny. But for guys who have their fundamentals down and are DOMINANT, continually pushing a girl away can make the seduction last a lot longer, like 10 hours instead of 3.
To KillSwitch’s respondent,
Good points! I totally agree on being a challenge. You can do Pull CF and still be a challenge by mixing in the 20% Push and by just being High Value yourself.
Yes, you can look for the balance in the Cocky vs. the Funny. But like I point out in the article, you can be Push CF as well as Pull CF. There are actually three levels at work here: Push vs. Pull, Cocky vs. Not Cocky, Funny vs. Not Funny. You can tweak things at each level. As far as time efficiency, I don’t think Cocky and Funny really speed up or slow things down. It’s the Push vs. Pull dynamic that can really cut time or add time to the seduction.
As far as the Energy question goes, I agree that your game should not be ALL push-pull or cocky-funny, and that in most cases, you will need to slow the pace down in order to form an emotional connection. That goes without saying. But like I said, you can definitely be LOW ENERGY cocky-funny.
Maybe I really should get around to writing that article on Energy.
Thanks for your thought-provoking feedback!
Cheers, The Asian Rake.
June 25, 2008
[...] How to Master Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny (day 11) From: http://www.theseductionbible.com After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, I’ve discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. » more 1 [...]
October 7, 2008
Hey everybody, I’m not so good in speaking English but I will try to be understandable.
First, I am happy to find that article, because it’s very interresting, because it a little more detailed than what you normely find on the internet.
Secundly, I like to have more articles that are detailed in that way, about attraction.
I have a comment about the fact that you have adapt you push and pull technique to your aim. You said you could evaluate your aim by looking at her looks, and personnally I’m not totaly agreeing about only looking at her looks, because a women can be confident about herself because of other factors. These factors can be personnallity, arrogance or cocky and funny she is using (we man aren’t the only one who use that stuff), story-telling-abilities, …
These might be factors you also have to look at.
Personnally I think the biggest part of attraction game is the cocky and funny - push and pull
When you understand that part you might be begin with comfort-building, kinesis and emotionnal-connection
Conqterror
PS: srry I’m not good at all in English
December 16, 2008
Yo!
Great article… but I must say, that after reading this I was left with come doubt.
I really like how you break down the push-pull into a science.
When I break it down it’s less accurate. For me, I have to analyze the reaction before I throw the next ingredient. I the pull made her distant I push, if the push crushed her self-esteem I pull, and so on…
Ok, this is not about my method, but about yours since it aroused a curiosity in me. I noticed you use a lot more pull than I do and that made me curious… But what really got me thinking was your signature: Asian Rake. So does that mean you target Asian women more?
I hate stereotyping (because you neglect the person’s individuality), but I believe women of different races require different push and pull ratios. That made me think:
Do you use more pull, because you target Asian women more often?
I found that Asian women require a bit more pull, so do latinas. Whereas, I found that anglo (American, English, Aussies, Etc.) require more push…
What are your thoughts?
Cheers,
John