Yo: ¡OMG! (Entonces, con un suspiro y una mirada love-sick del perro del perrito, digo después de bajar mis manos) estoy en amor con usted… Déme su número. (Tirón #1)
HB (dado una sacudida eléctrica): ¿Huh? ¿Está usted loco? ¿Por qué?
Yo (con una mirada incrédula en mi cara): ¿Por qué? Significo, mirada justa en usted. Usted me está conduciendo loco. Debe ser un crimen para que usted camine en público. (Tirón #2)
HB (el reír el explotar): ¿De dónde es usted?
Yo: ¿De? No importa. Deseo su número. (Tirón #3)
HB (laughing): No way. First tell me where you’re from.
Me: Okay, … guess.
HB: Um, China?
Me: Pretty close… (Taking a step closer to her so that we’re inches apart, I say in a quieter tone,) You know, you’re making me really nervous. My hands are all cold and sweaty. Here, feel. (Then, I take her hand in mine). (Pull #4)
HB (laughing): You’re not nervous.
Me (throwing off her hand and looking shocked): Are you calling me a liar? I’ve just confessed my deep dark love for you, and now you’re calling me a liar? That’s it. We’re getting a divorce… But I’m keeping the DVDs. You can have the dog. (Push #1)
HB laughed.
I said nothing and continued looking fake-mad.
HB said (with a smile): “Okay, bye,” and started walking off.
Me (stepping out in front of her again and knowing that she’s just teasing and wants me to chase her): No, wait. You can’t go. I’ll be so sad… I’m going to go home and cry now (and then I slumped my shoulders as if completely sad and depressed). (Pull #5)
HB laughed.
Me (perking up and letting out a sly smile): Okay, give me your number.
HB (laughs): Okay.
We talked a little bit more, then I let her go back to her friends.
I texted her about an hour later, and she texted back, asking what I was doing tomorrow… But that’s for another LR.
Notice the push-pull ratio here. That was 5 pulls to 1 push. The one push came after 4 pulls. In fact, I don’t even think that push was necessary.
This sort of Pull Cocky-Funny can get you super fast makeouts and, as my natural friends have shown, club bathroom sex. For an example of a fast makeout, see the LR that features my first encounter with Natural-MD: (see field report here) . There are many other tales to recount about naturals such as him, some of which you can find elsewhere on my site and some of which I might write about in the future. You’ll have to check back for those.
Another great example comes from Zan. Among the community old-timers, Zan is probably the best representative of this kind of cocky-funny. If you haven’t read any of his materials yet, check the mASF archives or google, “enlightened seduction.”
There are so many possibilities to choose from, but this conversation of his has stuck in my mind for a while now:
ZAN: Come out with me for a drink tonight. I will pick you up at 7.
HER: I can’t. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it.
ZAN: Oh hey, I understand… let’s make it 8 then.
I never, ever worry about a woman’s resistance to me. If she says she is not interested and leaves, no problem. But if I ever see her again, I immediately go up to her, smile and wink, and pick up right where I left off. As if she had never resisted me in the first place. In other words, her boyfriend objections (or whatever) mean nothing to me.
ZAN: (big smile) Hello, sweetie. Did you miss me?
HER: Hardly.
ZAN: I want to see you. Tell me your number and I’ll remember it.
HER: No! I told you last time I have a boyfriend.
ZAN: Oh, so you’re still seeing Norman?
HER: Uh… his name’s not Norman.
ZAN: (smile, wink) Really? That’s very interesting. I have two bottles of champagne at home.
HER: No thanks.
ZAN: One to drink and one to pour all over your body…
HER: You never give up, do you?
ZAN: Of course not! Wouldn’t be the same if I did, would it?
HER (laughing) No, I suppose not…
I find this whole exchange completely charming and hilarious. Zan pulls her in about seven times. Just about everything he says is a pull.
He’s cocky because he believes that she’d be crazy to turn him down. So her objections don’t even register with him. This is the ideal kind of frame to be operating from when doing Pull Cocky-Funny.
So there you have it. Push Cocky-Funny vs. Pull Cocky-Funny. Both can work. But if you have good fundamentals (body language, tonality, and basic inner game), or you’re good-looking, or you have high perceived social value, and you are interacting with a confident and attractive woman, then you can get faster seductions and make deeper connections by doing more Pull than Push, around 80%-20% is ideal. And keep it all funny J
Feedback appreciated!
Happy playin’, The Asian Rake.
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June 25, 2008
The book The Art of Seduction gives a great insight into why Rake’s can get away with this kind of behavior.
June 25, 2008
This is probably one of the best articles I have read on this site. Its like a Tyler Durden post (see http://rsdwiki.com/index.php?title=RSD_Classic_Articles#Tyler); innovative, deep, analytic, yet practical and very thought provoking.
Recently I’ve been somewhat confused - do I play cool and mean and hard to get (Mystery)? Or do I get ‘into state’ and act playful and crazy (Tyler). This article explains the two sides. Also it partly depends on context. The playful, 80% pull mode is great in a party environment. The cooler, more negative approach maybe less so.
The whole thing about adjusting cockiness based on your looks/body language etc is gold, too. Something I may have fallen foul of.
Finally this article encoraches on the edge of something I’ve become increasingly interested in (and would like to see an article about)… ‘Direct Game’ which is basically what these 15 minute natural closes are …
Anyway - excellent stuff and I thank you!
June 25, 2008
Bobby, I actually read and own “the art of seduction” and I must say, it is a great read. however, it confused me because it, in my eyes anyway, tells you to do things that are complete opposite to things that i read from David D, Mystery, etc. I probably just have to read it again, which I do plan on doing.
As far as this article, i really enjoyed it. It touches on the whole 80/20 thing and I really needed that explained…doesn’t mike talk about something similar in his e-book?
Anyway, I have a question. Not to come off as too cocky or full of myself, but i’ve been told plenty of times that i’m “hot”. my problem is, i don’t want to come off as too cocky when doing CF stuff, which is where the whole 80-20 rule comes in I guess, but i don’t want to come off too needy…where’s the balance?
-KillSwitch
June 25, 2008
Killswitch, The balance lies in the magical land called CHEMISTRY! No matter how good looking you are, if your not a challenge the girl will get bored(maybe after she slept with you) or whatever. COcky funny is what creates that subtext for banter and fun flirting. I found is really important in what you are communicating while you say it IE if you day “O I dont think you could Handle me . .” with a sly smirk and coming from a fun happpy place its good but that same line said without a smile or any enthusiam can be taken as very cocky. SO its all about the energy you project when you say it, that is your balance. You also dont want to over do the cocky funny because then you’ll just be seen as some fun party guy flirt but nothing more - trust me I’m in this stage with one chick and it fun but it sucks at the same time.
Peace
June 25, 2008
Great feedback, guys!
Bobby,
Yes, as you can tell from my name, I use a Rakish style, with a little bit of the Charismatic thrown in. I think Zan is also a kind of Rake. Almost all the naturals I’ve met who have super fast seductions are Rakes, and their girls fall really hard in love with them, too. I’m a very lazy and busy guy, lol, so I find the Rake to be the most time and energy efficient style, plus it’s just a lot of fun! Greene’s book is a wonderful resource, too.
sub5tance,
Thanks for the kind appraisal. Yes, I’ve heard that Mystery/Matador and TD/Mehow/Lovedrop have different styles and energy.
Energy, however, is a different question from the push-pull cocky-funny question. You can have high energy CF, and you can have low energy CF (like James Bond). Within the high vs. low energy continuum, you can also have more push than pull or more pull than push. My article addresses the latter issue of the proportion of push vs. pull and the variables involved. I haven’t addressed the energy question in this article, but that would be a good topic for another piece. Thanks for bringing it up!
I totally agree with you that it depends on the contexts.
Killswitch,
That’s a good question about the different types.
Greene’s book starts off with describing the various seductive character types. I’ve noticed that most guys just skip that section, but that’s my favorite section! Guys who do a lot of Push Cocky-Funny are mainly Coquettes, using Greene’s categories. Mystery’s style combines a bunch of different characters, but I’m confident in saying that the Rake is not among them.
It’s important to realize that there are many kinds of seducers and many different yet equally effective ways of attracting women. The questions to ask are: Which character type most appeals to me? Which character types would be easiest for me to adopt?
My article prescribes a more efficient way for certain types of guys (high value, good fundamentals, or good-looking). I feel like a lot of the community’s teachings are aimed at below average guys who have awful fundamentals and don’t come across high value. For guys like that, it can be very helpful to use Push Cocky-Funny. But for guys who have their fundamentals down and are DOMINANT, continually pushing a girl away can make the seduction last a lot longer, like 10 hours instead of 3.
To KillSwitch’s respondent,
Good points! I totally agree on being a challenge. You can do Pull CF and still be a challenge by mixing in the 20% Push and by just being High Value yourself.
Yes, you can look for the balance in the Cocky vs. the Funny. But like I point out in the article, you can be Push CF as well as Pull CF. There are actually three levels at work here: Push vs. Pull, Cocky vs. Not Cocky, Funny vs. Not Funny. You can tweak things at each level. As far as time efficiency, I don’t think Cocky and Funny really speed up or slow things down. It’s the Push vs. Pull dynamic that can really cut time or add time to the seduction.
As far as the Energy question goes, I agree that your game should not be ALL push-pull or cocky-funny, and that in most cases, you will need to slow the pace down in order to form an emotional connection. That goes without saying. But like I said, you can definitely be LOW ENERGY cocky-funny.
Maybe I really should get around to writing that article on Energy.
Thanks for your thought-provoking feedback!
Cheers, The Asian Rake.
June 25, 2008
[...] How to Master Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny (day 11) From: http://www.theseductionbible.com ; After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, I’ve discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. » more 1 [...]
October 7, 2008
Hey everybody, I’m not so good in speaking English but I will try to be understandable.
First, I am happy to find that article, because it’s very interresting, because it a little more detailed than what you normely find on the internet.
Secundly, I like to have more articles that are detailed in that way, about attraction.
I have a comment about the fact that you have adapt you push and pull technique to your aim. You said you could evaluate your aim by looking at her looks, and personnally I’m not totaly agreeing about only looking at her looks, because a women can be confident about herself because of other factors. These factors can be personnallity, arrogance or cocky and funny she is using (we man aren’t the only one who use that stuff), story-telling-abilities, …
These might be factors you also have to look at.
Personnally I think the biggest part of attraction game is the cocky and funny - push and pull
When you understand that part you might be begin with comfort-building, kinesis and emotionnal-connection
Conqterror
PS: srry I’m not good at all in English