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Atteignons dans le sac postal pour une nouvelle question…
A lot of my friends seem perfectly content with settling down with girlfriends and hanging up the spurs completely, but I can never seem to pull it off. I’ll get in a relationship, be happy with it for a while, but inevitably the itch comes back and I start looking for the door. I’ve put up numbers equivalent to theirs so I’m not sure where the disconnect is. Are some guys just hungrier for it? And if the criteria for packing it in is when the desire for new women dies out, is there really a chance of that ever happening?
I guess I’m just sounding off a bit because the ex is starting to resurface and I’m in one of those “fuck these dumb bar bitches, I hate them all anyway” phases. I guess my ultimate question for you is: what’s the end game? Where would you ideally end up, and when would you ideally exit the game? It’s tricky shit and I’m fishing for insight.
My Answer:
Go somewhere else than the bar! Change it up a bit. I get tired of the same flaky chicks in bars and then I experiment with day game until I miss bar game. Back and forth, back and forth, as my game builds in many areas along the way. Honestly if the only place to hit on a girl is in a bar, then I’d probably get sick of it too.
The end game of course is a girl you love. But by playing the game, you automatically make that outcome harder to happen (sounds like a catch-22, doesn’t it) because you know you will always have options. Still, there will come a point where your wingmen disappear and you get older and lose motivation to continue banging and gaming. I saw this in three former wingmen who were into the game hardcore, but now one is married, one is about to be, and the other is in a two year relationship. Differences in a man’s personality makes him more or less like to get in the game (and stick to it). Just like how some people are more likely to become alcoholics but others remain as social drinkers.
For many guys there is a point where they say “fuck it” and pick the best available girl and go with it, but Roosh says it’s best to do what you want to do, instead of letting your environment decide it for you.
For more on Roosh, check out our write-up on his book Bang.
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June 26, 2008
I fight that same battle with myself constantly.
I am in awe of the guys I know who seem perfectly content with one girl forever..
June 26, 2008
personally I don’t know how it’s possible…
June 27, 2008
I’m in the catch - 22 that if I’m honest, the ‘Game’ is just that - a game. Once I get to the point where I know I have strong attraction from a girl I lose interest in playing it with her somewhat.
In fact I have been in a LTR for years but just game for fun. However, that incongruity does probably hold my game back, especially with quality girls who have finely tuned antenna. And I also run the risk of being exposed as the validation-junkie that I am.
It has caused issues - my GF has seen me get more confident, more popular with people (esp. other women), and actually stand up to her more (she was the more dominant one of us). What I’ve also seen (despite her issues with my improvements) is a better quality sex life with her. IOW - she says one thing - but feels another.
What I suspect is that many men like me have found that the ‘Game’ has opened our eyes to a deeper level of social interaction that was happening right under our noses without us even realising it - not to mention making us improve ourselves in all sorts of ways that help with self-esteem (getting fit, having more courage, not being so needy and trying to please others all the time, body language, attitudes and beliefs) etc., that are not just purely related to getting a girl/LTR.
June 27, 2008
sub - sounds to me that your catch-22 and your need for validation are the same.
once you have been validated by the girl being attracted to you, you are no longer interested. this is because you weren’t ever actually interested in the girl herself - you were looking for how you would feel when you “got” her. the second that role has been played, you have no other use for her. the more attractive or difficult the girl is to attract, the more value you get out of charming her. (not to scare you, but you MAY be playing this same game with your current gf - she is dominant, withholding that validation. you are playing to get it. just like girls date dicks, constantly working to earn that guy’s “love”.)
i know it sounds really dysfunctional, and maybe it is. but it is VERY common. women do this as a norm. only difference i have noticed is that women want to know they are “worthy” or “deserving” of something, while men want to know they are “capable” of something. think about what you say when people break up: to a girl “oh, you totally deserve better, he wasnt worthy of you” while to men: “dude, you could totally get better”….in the end, it adds up the same.
the only way to break that cycle is to find a way to validate yourself without love or sex or attraction. do something that PROVES to yourself that you are capable and strong and “worthy”. i dont know what that thing would be for you - but you gotta do this for yourself - no one else can give you value. and looking for value from others will only hinder your life.
i honestly think THATS the heart of being alpha.