Rule # 4 - Keep It Light And Keep It Casual
Ok so when you call her for the first time after she has given you her phone number then its not a good time to start going into a deep and meaningful.
You actually want to keep things fairly casual and most importantly keep it brief. But just because it’s a short amount of time, doesn’t mean that you don’t have your work cut out for you!
The first thing that you want to do when you call the girl is to break the ice and get her laughing.Essentially you want to get her back into the same state as she was in when she gave you that phone number.
The best way to do this, is to refer to something that happened when you last saw her. Maybe refer to a joke that you had previously found funny with her and give her updated content on it. This will bring her back to that place and help her feel more comfortable with you.
That’s the thing with phone calls. You want to be able to establish comfort before you can even consider asking her out.
If a girl doesn’t think that she will be comfortable with you or will be able to trust you then she will not even consider going on that date with you.
So remember the rule, keep it light and keep it casual. Break the ice and get her to laugh before you even consider asking her out.
Rule # 5 - Keep It Short and Sweet
This kind of follows on from the other points. But seriously don’t talk too long. Like 5 minutes.
As a general rule with this whole gaming and dating thing … Less is always MORE!
Seriously…
You don’t have to get an update of what this chick has been doing in the past 2 days. She doesn’t have to know about all your past relationships before you guys go on a date.
All you have to get a chick to do .. is know you, like you and trust you and then you can get her to go anywhere and do just about anything with her.
Rule # 6 - Leave one voicemail that’s IT!
If you have to leave a voicemail then make sure that its only one. Two or more becomes stalkerish.
I know it sounds silly but its true and this is what goes through a chicks head. When courting a girl, you need to remember to give her the space to think about you. If you are constantly trying to impede on her space then she is totally not going to appreciate it.
Give her the gift of missing you ok?
So with a voice mail you need to remember to keep it short and sweet.
You don’t have to repeat your number and all that crap, just leave the a short msg and then hang up.
So in regards to what you should say, then you can say something a little ball busting and then get her to give you a call back.
When calling a girl, be prepared for a voicemail and know what you are going to say as well.
There is nothing worse than a long winded voicemail msg with a guy who doesn’t know what he is talking about, who is wasting your time and YOUR credit!
Random Tips
Some of you may be wondering how many times you should call before giving up.
Firstly you should msg first. If the girl msgs back, then your chances of getting to talk to her again are much higher.
If you msg a girl and she doesn’t msg you back .. and this msg contained some call to action on her behalf. Then you need to know that you are going to have to do some major work on getting this girl to go on a date with you.
persistence is not the only tool you need. There is no point in doing the wrong things over and over hoping that you will get a positive result in the end.
You have to do what works.
Remember to warm a girl up to you. You can tell that a girl has warmed up to you when she is laughing at your jokes and the conversation is flowing.
Here’s a tip. When a girl talks with ease, it means that she is comfortable with you.
If you find her being more quiet that usual, then there is something up and she is not comfortable, because A = she thinks that you are a freak or B = she hasn’t warmed up to you yet.
In regards to what you should talk to her about … you main aim is to bust her balls, make her laugh and have a good time.
Keep it short and sweet and always leave her wanting more.
Now with that said … Now I want to see better conversion rates ok? *winks*
Hot Alpha Female
If you like this post then please consider subscribing to our full feed rss or twitter. You can also listen to all episodes of our radio show on itunes or register for our members only section to see things we can’t or won’t post to the site!
1 2 (On Last Page)
Read More:
1- 2
- 3
- 4
July 3, 2008
Really great stuff… very interesting to hear from a girl’s point of view. Thanks!
July 3, 2008
This is some of the best phone game advice I have ever read.
But I have one thing to bring up. This article says to not call for the first 48 hours.
But other gurus, Mehow for example, say to call the next day otherwise u seem like a pussy.
What is with that? Personally, I’m going to follow the 48hr rule. That is the one I’ve always felt best going with anyway.
-Seraf
July 4, 2008
re: But other gurus, Mehow for example, say to call the next day otherwise u seem like a pussy.
I think this is one of the few areas where I’d value a woman’s perspective more than some gurus.
And with that said an opener is born
July 4, 2008
What’s a good way to end a txt msg conversation? I always seem to go to my default strategy of saying I have to go to the gym or have errands to run but I feel like I use that too much. Any ideas?
July 4, 2008
zeo - you dont have to explain your actions when leaving a text conversation. just stop talking. and like she said in the article, it shouldn’t be a full blown convo, just a couple messages or so from you. if the girl asks you a specific question, or texts back later wondering why you havent answered - just call her and ask what was up. at that point, she obviously wants to hear from you, and you will already have some reason to call her.
as for the 48 hour rule - i think it depends on the circumstance. if its a girl who is already in your circle and you guys have talked before and that familiarity is there - you can call the next day. ESPECIALLY if you already mentioned that you guys would be making plans to go out. ex- your friends hot friend you see at house parties and bbqs and have been talking. this time, you talk about movies and she wants to visit some movie festival in the area or something - so you get her number with the agreement that you will call her so you both can go together. in that case, you should call her soon.
but if its some random girl and you just got the number with a request to “call sometime” , you should really wait the 48 hours. she doesnt know you arent a stalker, and she doesnt know if she will hang out with you. you have to do a lot more to put her at ease with you than with a girl you already kind of know, or one who already agreed to hang out with you.
July 5, 2008
I’m not into any of those rules. I think you can call or txt her right after a meet, or the next morning at least. It really depends on the context and the situation you’ve established. Sometimes I’ll txt or call the very same day.
lance’s last blog post..Lance’s Marriage Makers
July 5, 2008
If anything keep it simple. Like they say in music less is more. Easier said than done, but it’s so easy to over-think and over-analyze these kind of matters. You’ll run yourself nuts trying to decide when to call when to text. If anything just base it off of the vibe that she gives you.
July 5, 2008
So if you are getting a kind of cold response on the phone what to do then? I’ve called women before and gotten them laughing and then they still went cold on me on the phone. Rather than force the meet I was like well… Gotta run Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on.
Its tricky because it could be that she is no longer attracted or that she doesn’t feel safe enough. If its just a safety thing I would think some mushy comfort routine would be the way to go.
July 7, 2008
First off, id - Could be that you didn’t come off as strong as you thought, and she’s had time to rethink the situation. It’s a lot easier for anyone to go cold on the phone. Phonecalls in general can be tricky because they’re intimate and private but you lose the benefits of body language and touch. When did you call her? Did she go cold at the start or during the conversation? Any special trigger you can think of? All that’s important. Smart move on not forcing the meet regardless. No one likes that kind of awkward.
As another woman, I can’t really agree with you on the 48 hour rule either. I’d had the two extremes plenty of times and I have to say that the one who texted me 5 times and called 3 the next day and the one who didn’t call for 3 days both get the same amount of game from me. (Hint: 0) After 2 days in most cases, I’ve already lost interest. My reasoning is that any guy who gets my digits and decides not to call or only calls when he eventually gets around to it can be easily replaced. Remember that being in control of the situation is necessary, but you still have to keep her interest. I can’t tell you how many guys I’ve seen fail miserably in the end game. Beware the girl who knows she can do better.
That said, don’t be a Needy Nelson now. Like it’s been said, pay attention to the vibe of the chick. Don’t call that night. I’d recommend a quick text the next day. If you need an excuse, ask if she made it home safe. It’ll make you more than just “that guy who wanted in my pants the other night”.
July 10, 2008
You know i wrote this article a couple of months ago and jsut re-read it there.
So now i have some more reflection.
I do put a shite load of rules in there that is true. And not to confuse you guys anymore, but things really depend on circumstances and that was more of a general guideline.
That is all the techniques and the “how to” but if you really want to get good at phone game and the whole game in general its all about overall mindset.
How you perceive yourself and how you project that onto the world.
For instance lets us these two examples.
First example. You KNOW you are a kool guy. You KNOW that there are plenty of chicks out there that would be dying to date you. You KNOW who you are and what you are about. So if a girl rejects you on the phone its her loss not yours. She is saying No to herself and not to you.
Second example - this is probably the more typical things that run through your mind. I hope she says yes. I hope she doesnt reject me. Man i really like her and i hope i dont say anything stupid. Somehow i have to show her how im a really cool guy. I dunno whatever.
Now here is the small thing that i want to point out, which results in high self confidence.
See how in the first example you are telling yourself all the things that YOU can control. You are more concerned about how you feel and how kool you are rather than what her response is going to be.
In the second on - the outcome is more important. You are more worried about what she is going to say and do.
Here’s the thing, that is something that you cannot control. The only control you ever have is over your thoughts.
So spend more time building an awareness of what your current thoughts are and then making them empowering and meaningful for you..
N you will see your overall game with phone skills, texting skills and interaction skills change.
Hot Alpha Female
Hot Alpha Female’s last blog post..I Can’t Pretend To Like You Anymore!
August 15, 2008
Well as a general rule i think that text conversations shouldnt really be something that you should get yourself involved in, unless you dont want a date.
I think that if you are msging a girl, always make sure that its something cocky and funny rather than logistical .. like ” so how was your day”.
For example i have this guy that has text msgs with me .. and the more he texts me the more im not interested.
He even goes as far as to ask me if “everything is ok” if i dont reply to him within 1/21 hour.
To me it communitcates neediness and insecurity and that does not make me want to do on a date let alone see him agian.
so in answer to your question. First dont engage in long coversations. Second to end it … make sure that you leave her hanging. So end with something that makes her laugh and when she msgs back .. provided she doesnt ask you a question … then you end it by not answering her anymore and leaving it on a good note =)
Hope that helps
Hot Alpha Female
Hot Alpha Females last blog post..You Just Make Me Want To Throw Up …