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There comes a time in the player’s life when he wants to get a little experimental in the bedroom. This is usually motivated by dating a girl who is quite kinky and possibly even more experienced than him. Sometimes it’s stimulated by having such an incredible sexual connection with a girl that it feels only natural to take it to an even higher level.Whatever the case may be, it’s important to know a thing or two about introducing sex toys into the mix of things. The last thing you want to do is pull out some weird anal beads or horse saddle and freak out your partner.
In the future I will write an intermediate and advanced guide to sex toys for those of you really looking to get freaky… but this guide is all about the simplest toys, games, and fetishes to introduce into your relationship.
1. Handcuffs or Silk Scarves. The most basic fantasy out there is the desire to be tied up and left defenseless to a sexual ambush. There is something that turns almost everyone on about the idea of being powerless while someone has their way with you.
I’d usually recommend starting with the silk scarves, as sometimes pulling out a pair of handcuffs can freak an unsuspecting girl out… plus the silk scarves make for a great sensual addition to the foreplay. What you do is hide them under your pillow… and go about the sex as usual.
Once you have your girl worked up into frenzy pull the scarves out from under the pillow and start caressing her body with them. Gently slide the scarves over her body all the while you should be kissing her and getting her more and more turned on. Finally gently grab both of her wrists and slowly place them behind her head. Then whisper in her ear that you’re going to tie her wrists together.
Most girls will give into this fantasy immediately. If you sense some resistance don’t push it… Once you have her wrists tied behind her head… tease her to the point she is going to explode. Use your hands, mouth, feet, and member to drive her crazy.
2. Blindfold. The blind fold goes hand in hand with the silk scarves. I wouldn’t bust 
them both out on the same day, but once you sense that she is comfortable with having her wrists tied you can turn it up a notch by introducing a blindfold into the mix.
You can use the blindfolds with or without her wrists tied… what you want to do is place the blindfold over her eyes and then turn up the sexual tension. Once she isn’t making use of her sense of sight… all of her other senses will amplify. Tease her with sounds, caresses, smells, and kisses.
A good technique is telling her everything you are going to do to her. Come at her from all angles slowly whispering in her ears exactly how you plan on having your way with her. You’ll be amazed at how turned on the both of you get.
3. Hot Wax. This is not as painful as it sounds. Hot wax can be extremely erotic if used correctly during sexual play. Once again, this is best introduced when she is already at her height of sexual arousal.
You should have the candle burning at bedside. When you sense she’s ready for it reach over and slowly bring it over her body. Once she realizes what you plan on doing, she’ll probably freeze in anticipation. Hold the candle over her leg and let it hover above her inner thigh. Slowly tilt the candle and let a single drop of wax fall onto her skin. After you gauge how well she enjoyed wax play, you can take it up a notch dripping it on various
parts of her body…. (Stay away from highly sensitive areas like clit, nipples, and face.)
These are some simple ways to introduce some sexual misconduct into your relationship. These are great primers for the even kinkier stuff that I’ll talk about next time. Unless your girl is an all out freak… you’ll have to introduce these things slowly as to not scare her with your perversions.
To take a look at some other ways to spice up your sex life, check out our sex shop, where everything and anything can be found.
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July 8, 2008
I agree that variety is the spice of sex. However, I do think there need to be some preliminary conversations about what people are into before these things are introduced. I am absolutely NOT okay with bondage or blindfolding, and things would degenerate rather rapidly if they were introduced. And if you’re going to use hot wax, make sure they are candles designed to be dripped on people. Ordinary candles burn much hotter–my sister gave herself second degree burns when she tried to use regular candles, which is NOT sexy.
I look forward to the intermediate. The BF and I incorporate several different vibrators into our sex life quite regularly.
Honey’s last blog post..When is Enough, Enough?
July 9, 2008
The wax idea i might have to try that one. This is where shows like Sex and The City and so on serve some sort of good. That and having close female friends that don’t mind sharing this kind of stuff with you. Or an even better one if you work in a place where there’s primarily women, this is gold. Honey, how the hell are you supposed to know whether a candle’s wax has dripping potential? lol j/k
July 9, 2008
I had a gf who liked being tied up. I was cool with that. But I found that she was much more responsive to verbal stuff. I thought she likes being tied up - what does that really mean? So I would say shit like “your mine now” while fucking her and it pretty much had the same effect. Learn to talk dirty.
July 9, 2008
Whew, for a second I thought you were going to write about some really crazy/out there shit, lol.
July 12, 2008
honey is right - different girls have different tastes, although i have found that most will enjoy blindfolding at least - its better for just foreplay, since it really kind of heightens the rest of your sensations, and makes you feel very vulnerable (not something you want to start out feeling during the frenzy). she is also right about the candle wax - the wrong kind REALLY HURTS. and hey - dont forget feathers! its a fun game to play -
you have her lie down however you want and you lightly brush the feather (or fingers) on her while she tries not to squirm or flinch. if she does, she loses - penalty early on for losing is that its YOUR turn to try and lie still while she tickles you. you can go back and forth with this for a while before changing the “penalty”.
this game is great for foreplay, it heightens her own skin sensations, and you get to learn her body and reactions as you hunt for those really sensitive spots. its also puts in a little sense of competition or defiance or playfulness that can make later sex pretty fun. and you can really get her horny if you proceed slow enough - start with back, then a little on the legs, slowly towards the thighs…… you get the idea.
this is a good one to suggest after a short massage, and works well with the blindfold.