TSB Magazine » Blog Archive » Roosh Says: Use What She’s Giving You

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"Roosh is a Washington DC native and worked as a scientist until he pulled out of the rat race to pursue a slower lifestyle. A member of the old Mystery's Lounge, Roosh built up his game after college, cumulating with the release of his book Bang almost seven years later. Currently he is writing his second book about his six month trip to South America in late 2007."

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Question:

Let me ask you this. How do you walk the line of playful smack talking and offensive put downs? I understand that I want her to be on the defensive, but what happens when she just thinks I’m a dick, instead of flirting? I’m just saying that it seems that she could get the wrong impression, and that will ruin my chances. I can’t care about that though.

My Answer:

All that matters is if what you’re doing builds attraction or not.

If you’re teasing her and she’s getting further away from you and paying less attention or getting genuinely upset, then you’ve crossed the line.

But if you are teasing and she has this “how dare you” smirk on your face or she playfully hits you or teases back, then you haven’t. It depends on the girl, and you will know because the more confident she is, the more teasing she can take. Unfortunately it will take some experimentation and failure to find the right mix but the key is always to listen to the feedback she’s giving you instead of getting into your own personal world of delivering lines you got form Casanova007 on some seduction forum.

Roosh is the author of Bang, a practical guide to getting laid that we reivew here. If you have a question for Roosh you would like answered, email him at roosh (at) rooshv (dot) com.

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Comments

5 comments

Zeo
July 11, 2008

Good rule of thumb is that for hb 6’s and 7’s, use less negs than hb’s 8 and up.

[Reply...]
sub5tance
July 11, 2008

My experience is “if in doubt, then neg.”

I have found that on younger girls (under 30s) this is a little less successful than with over-30s, but I’ve come out with some outrageous negs (more like insults) and they haven’t been able to take their eyes off me from that point on. Attraction has been obvious.

To my mind the more crazy/obvious the neg, the more they recipient will either assume you are teasing/flirting (no-one could come out with something like that if they were serious, right?) or be so shocked the intrigue is addictive to them.

If it *doesn’t work well*, just walk away - they don’t ‘get it’ and are on a different wavelength. Their loss. Occassionally if I am feeling a little guilty I will say ‘I’m only teasting! And I only tease people I like’ and they will get an emotional ‘pull’ spike.

There are probably other factors at play alongside, though. If you’re good looking it helps and your general vibe/personality affects it too.

Examples:

HB1: This is my friend, X. She’s a *real estate agent* [smugly]
Me: Is *that really* the best thing about her?!
HB1: [Shocked. Wide Eyed. But x-closes me an hour later]

Me: I like that dress, but its not really your colour. Red is *your* colour. It matches your eyes. [This is done deadpan]
HB1: [Loads of eye contact from that point on, starts opening me]

Me: Your car is a PIMP-Mobile! Look its got blacked out windows!
HB1: It has NOT!!!
Me: Yes it has! Look! When you drive along they thump in and out thanks to the crazy bass you have going. You *ARE* A PIMP Girl!

[Reply...]
Killswitch
July 11, 2008

I think this is one of the hardest aspects of game for a guy to get, at least it was for me. How do you tease a girl without offending her? I remember when I first tried it out and I would say pretty outlandish shit…and the girls got offended and now, looking back, I don’t blame them.

For me, it’s all about delivery..you have to say it with a sly smirk on your face, this way they know that you’re joking. I suggest reading david deangelo, he breaks this down very well.

-KillSwitch

[Reply...]
athena
July 12, 2008

i think killswitch is right - its hard to come up with a general rule of thumb, since there are SO many different ways to deliver the exact same statement.
you really got to know how you are coming across - some guys just have that facial expression and tone that seems meaner or more serious than others. i really think this is more about you and how you come across than the type of woman you are talking to.
most of these things you simply cant control - like your natural expressions, even the structure of your face. think about how people treat you in general - if you find it hard for people to take you seriously and everyone always thinks you are playing around or constantly comment on how much of a joker you are - well, then you can play it a little heavier. but if people think of you as intimidating or quiet or judgmental- you know the “talk softly carry a big stick” type, well, you probably want to be a little more subtle with your negs.

remember - how you think of yourself is not necessarily how others are seeing you. many a joker thought he was serious, and vice versa. really take a look at how people in general are responding to you, and adjust to that. you gotta work with what you’ve got - but you cant do that without KNOWING what you got in the first place!

[Reply...]
id
July 15, 2008

I’ve noticed that one must project value to get teasing to build attraction. If she thinks you’re a dork or she’s her highness then fun teasing won’t work. You have to neg. Personally I don’t like negging. It just feels so socially unacceptable. But I’ll do it if necessary.

[Reply...]