About the Author
We are 23 days through our 31 Days to Better Game series. In the previous lesson we learned about preparing our bachelor pads for women. Today we are going to get back to some of the nuts and bolts of pickup.
Blogger The Dicknotist has sent us in a great introduction to kino. For those of you who don’t know the Dicknotist he gives some great insights into pickup over at his blog.
Dicknotize with Your Touch by The Dicknotist
If youre reading this, youre probably looking for ways to obtain more sex in your life. Perhaps you want something more than just sex …or perhaps not. Either way, what separates true sex from porn is that the former involves touch whereas the latter is viewed through the pixels of a computer screen. Sex cannot happen without contact and neither can seduction. Too many guys make the mistake of focusing all their efforts on conversation and while your words may peak her interest, your touch is what will drive her wild with intense desire.
From the moment a woman lays eyes on you, shes unconsciously wondering how youll be in bed. Will you take charge as she surrenders her body to you or will you look to her on what to do? Will you be affectionate and attentive to her needs or will you just slam it in a few times and leave? Do you actually know what youre doing in the bedroom or will she have to teach you like all the other guys? All of that is conveyed through your eye contact and touch.
Weve all read the now famous DiCarlo Escalation Ladder (DEL), which will give you the nuts and bolts of what to do, but not necessarily the mindset behind it. Guys who arent used to touching women will just lay their hands on her as if theyre in a video game. They earn five points for every time they brush her arm or tap her back. When I touch a woman, I dont play for points; I play for pleasure.
When I think of touch, I imagine that my hands are like paintbrushes plastering my emotions onto her body. Call me the Jackson Pollack of seduction: I paint her arms her arms and torso now so that I can sprinkle some more on her face later with my other special brush. So, when first talking to a girl, I will often just lightly touch her outer arms and torso with my fingers as Im talking to her. I see it as expressive: you touch her as you talk to emphasize important points. That touch is more subtle and friendly, aimed at just making her comfortable and more trusting. During high points in the interaction, however, your touch should become more appreciative.
Touch serves two purposes: to emphasize what youre saying to her and to appreciate her An example of appreciation could be that in talking to her, she reveals that she works as a nurse. That immediately peaks your interest as your mom was a nurse and you realize the resiliency and compassion necessary for the job. Rather than just telling her how awesome that is, you should also touch her arm and hold it there a few seconds longer than usual and perhaps even stroke it.
Expressive touch is like a period: light and quick. Appreciative touch is like an exclamation point, lasting a good 2-3 seconds. Yet the point isnt for you to have this in your head while talking to a woman but to give you a context for which touch can amplify and supercharge your game.
When you touch her, touch her as if youre already making love to her. Cup your hand as you touch her back and cup the back of her shoulder blades. Dont forget her sensitive spots, including her inner arms, behind her knees, the skin fold on the other side of her elbow. Later on in the interaction, touching her neck, ears, thighs, breasts will amplify her desire. Dont be afraid to graze her breasts! Graze them now so you can glaze them later.
You can get away with murder in the field as long as you are relaxed and slow down. Calibration is simply the act of doing things much more slowly, which includes walking, talking, and touching. You may be nervous, but if you can slow down your actions, you will be seen as confident and in control.
Of course, touch is best demonstrated by viewing and trying it yourself. An excellent resource on touch is The Joy of Erotic Massage, which takes you through more than youll ever need to give women incredible pleasure with your touch from the first meet to sex. You can purchase a copy on Amazon, though youll probably be able to get it free through other means…
I hope that when you read this essay and even see the video above, you will get some fresh ideas on how to use touch to build trust and sexual tension. Yet, to get the most out of any endeavor, you must go out and hit the field. Experiment and develop your own style. Innovation never comes from passively reading and watching. Like any man of character, you must act.
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Psychology was one of my majors in college. A classic social psychology study showed that an experimental group who touched a peer who they interacted with were rated as more likable and a slew of other desirable traits than the control group who just interacted.
If you do not use kino stop reading the A3 takeaway backhanded compliment push-pull and go practice this. What’s the point of any of the technology if you don’t TOUCH HER?
the article itself was rather vague – but the idea of it, and id, are both totally right on.
its not something i spent a lot of time thinking about in my research before this site – and i doubt most girls would, since they all remember some form creepy kino they have experienced in the past. good kino is just not noticed as much, until you get to the point when it makes your skin tingle with pleasure… and at that moment, you arent thinking about all the other touching that led up to it!
but to repeat id – if you arent using it, you might as well forget all the rest. the longer you go without physical contact, the more this imaginary “wall” builds up between you and the other person. It becomes easier to defend against advances, and the guy seems more like a concept, a personality, than an actual flesh-and-blood person. Avoiding or waiting to use kino is probably the quickest way to friend-land.
In fact, now that i recognize it, i see how well it works on me! As much as it galls me to admit, i have found myself attracted to guys who only intended to become my friends simply because they started using familiar touching with me early on – it was a very confidant, friendly non-sexual thing – but i felt the attraction to their personality totally differently than if they hadn’t done that. It became impossible to forget that they DID have a body, that they WERE a man, and to wonder what more would feel like.
so even though we are still “just friends”, i find it impossible to change my view of them as potential bed buddies. it seems that kind of initial impression is very hard to get rid of.
i wish i knew more about how far you have to go to create that impression, and the small amount of time you have to achieve this. unfortunately, i think this is one of the few areas a woman cannot help you with (for the reasons mentioned above). sure, we can give you amazing detail in what NOT to do, and what creeps us out, or maybe a few can relate stories of how well it worked. but if it was truly great kino, it mostly went unnoticed.
like a ninja in the night, kino slices away barriers and disappears unnoticed – only the effects remain.
“Graze them now so you can glaze them later.” L.O.L!
Athena,
It’s always great to get a female perspective. Thank you!
I intentionally made the article vague because the community focuses too much on the specifics rather than getting the main idea behind it all. Like I said in my original post, guys simply touch a woman with no context or purpose. There’s a reason…a purpose behind it: I’m a physical man and I make no apologies of my desires as a man and I will give you incredible sexual pleasure that you crave. That’s the message and yes, it’s all conveyed through touch.
The reason, I suspect, that you see some of your touchier male friends as bed buddies is their touch gives you an idea of how they’ll be in bed. Our society teaches us that sex starts with a kiss. Wrong! Sex starts with the first touch. Everything between “hello” and penetration is foreplay.
I invite you to check out my blog (www.thedicknotist.net) and comment on any article you see there. You seem insightful, intelligent, fair, and fun.
-The D