About the Author
We are at day 25 of our 31 Days to Better Game series. We’ve been trying to mix in both theory and practical advice into this series. The goal is for you to gain knowledge of what works, but to also be able to go out and immediately put what you’re learning into practice.
Today’s lesson is on the subject of being the bad boy. We recently did a podcast titled “How to be the Bad Boy Women Want.” This lesson will draw on some of the stuff we talked about there, as well as touch on some things we didn’t have a chance to discuss last Friday.
day 25
Being the Bad Boy by Bobby Rio
You probably noticed as far back as grade school, that girls are attracted to guys who possess a bit of that bad boy persona. In fact, if you’re like most us, you’ve probably often asked yourself “why all girls like the assholes?” or “How comes the jerks get all the girls?”
This is not so say that being a bad boy makes you an asshole or a jerk. The reason most of us viewed these guys as assholes or jerks is simply because we were jealous and envious that these guys were always dating the girls that we wanted, while we were getting stuck in the friend’s zone. So instead of trying to learn from these “jerks” whom we weren’t alpha enough to hang with, we found it easier to blame society for our lack of success with women, and create an acceptable excuse for ourselves, “women only like the assholes.”
Well boys, it’s time to MAN up!
There is plenty that can be learned from these bad boys. Even if some of their reckless behavior will never suit your personality, you can try adopting some of their character traits to increase your attractiveness.
If you’ve found yourself too often getting stuck in the friend zone, it is simply because that is the vibe that you’ve been sending off.
You want to shed your “nice guy” image?
It is impossible to try to imitate specific bad boy behavior. It will come across forced and insincere. Instead, put yourself in their mindset. Live life through their eyes.
The Bad Boy trait you should emulate
1. You’re fearless. Most people are insecure. Most people suffer some form of anxiety disorder. Most people are held back by various forms of fear.
If you want to stand out in a crowd; Live a fearless existence. Feel the fear; then do it anyway. Most of our fears are completed unwarranted. Most fear stems from our need for approval. We are held back by our fear of losing our job, our fear of being laughed at, our fear of going broke, our fear of rejection, our fear of ruining our reputation, our fear of making a mistake.
What would your personality be like if you weren’t governed by all of these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears… you’ll find that not one of them is life threatening. In fact, most of our major fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us.
How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval.
Most of us are working a job we hate, lonely or in a shitty relationship, have given up our dreams… because we are afraid of making the wrong decision, and we’re not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong decision… We are afraid of what people will say about us… what people will think about us.
How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isn’t controlled by these fears?
Women are attracted to bad boys, because bad boys provide an adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. In the average guy, a woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. This is why the average guy becomes her friend. Because they can sit and talk and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. The bad boy makes her forget all about her fears and insecurities. He takes her into his fearless existence.
And she gets addicted to it.
My challenge to you
Live the next two days of your life completely fearless. Just for the next two days, say what you feel like saying, approach who you feel like approaching, tell someone who has pissed you off to “fuck off,” do exactly what you want to do.
Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want to tell the counter girl at the bank that she’s sexy as hell? Do it! Do you want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want! Whenever the fuck you want!
Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless. After the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think, or how you appear, or whatever other insignificant, trivial reason is holding you back.
More information on being the bad boy
In our most recent podcast we went over an entire list of ways you can take on more of the bad boy attitude. We even went into specific examples, showing how a bad boy would react as opposed to the typical “nice guy.”
If you feel that you need to incorporate more bad boy traits into your persona I highly recommend listening to our How to Be the Bad Boy Women Want podcast.
Read More:
1- 2
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- 4
Timely piece…I just shaved my head nearly to the skin to make myself care less what people think of me. I haven’t had hair this short since Jr. High! I can already feel the effects and I love it.
Funny enough I’m getting a tattoo next month
. But man, I’m really loving these 31 days article. This article speaks the truth, people care too much about what people think. Have you heard about Tynan? I started visiting his site a couple of months back and I’m really enjoying life a lot more. He talks about a lot of stuff that’s mentioned on here (www.betterthanyouboyfriend.com).
But yea, life is sooo much better once you stop care 2 shit’s about what people think. Enjoy life man, you only have one..and it’s short.
-KillSwitch
I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately – i dont know if fearless is quite the right word. its not exactly a lack of fear, or a lack of caring – but it is more selective than that. its not fearing your community, your culture.
both my brothers, no matter how nice or successful they are, are seen as “bad boys”. even i have been described as brave and rebellious, even though i am agoraphobic! so what is this wild spark that everyone loves about us?
we were raised not to give any value to being normal, to fitting in. obviously we have to do things to fit in, or we wouldnt be able to function at all in society. being aware of how people are seeing you is a useful tool. but it doesnt mean any more to us than that.
we honestly do not care a bit what you think of us, we only care how that AFFECTS us. for example – i will dress up nice and not curse during a job interview – not because i actually CARE what that interviewer thinks of me, but because i want the job. if some random girl at school thinks im a slut – who cares? she doesnt affect me or my life with her views at all. no more than a little toddler walking in and calling me names.
i think this is the key to the bad boy mindset – not being fearless – just constantly asking yourself “how will this change my day, really?” most of what you have been taught to care about doesnt really matter, some of it is downright silly. think about your clothes – do you like them? why? do they express “you”? NO! you like them because you were told to like them, because everyone else does! do you honestly think that throughout all time, throughout all cultures you just happen to live in the one place and time period that makes the clothes you like? and that they are so popular that they are mass produced and available down the street? or your music? get serious here – its all a compromise. it has its uses, but dont be a tool!
only compromise what you absolutely have to – only care when it changes your day. USE culture, dont let it use you. sure, a bad boy and a nice guy may end up taking the same action in a situation – but they are doing it for two totally different reasons.
This is going to be my last post here…so I’ll try to make it a good one.
I’m somewhat qualified to talk about this. I know my girl will read this so it’s going to stay pg-13. Sorry guys. Right now it’s 11:30pm, and I’m with five of my best friends about to tear up Germany. Any of the guys going to the DR feel free to come to Vegas the weekend of the 29th…it’s my bachelor party and we’re taking over the Palms.
Do you want the truth about being a bad boy? It’s not about being fearless, per se. Bobby will probably get into an argument with me about this but it’s about the absence of choice…more specifically no longer caring about the consequences of your actions. If you don’t fear what will happen to you then you’re truly free. When you already know the outcome it doesn’t really matter how you get there. Trust me, it’s the most liberating feeling in the world.
Over the last 6 months I’ve gone back to Europe, Sky-dived over Vegas, handled snakes (my biggest fear and it’s really fucking creepy), tried to rig a TV show and went to spy school. Yes guys, spy school…best experience of my life. Learn how to blow shit up, ram through barricades, pick locks, survielance, CQB etc. I’m going again in November and will try and get Mike and Bobby to come along.
If you think I’m joking click on covert ops. It’s just outside of Tucson.
http://www.incredible-adventures.com
My point is this. I’m going to say 99% of you don’t realize how good you have it. If you’re reading this and in high school right now, learn all you can. Practice it. Become your own man. You’ll run shit before you know it. If it were up to me I’d trade places in a minute.
Ciao TSB
MC2
Well said.
Chase,
that site is awesome! I think I’m going to do a post about it soon! You picked the best program.
Enjoy your bachelor party in Vegas, I actually have another friend’s wedding that Friday… See you in the DR!
Bobby
ahhh i love this post! it makes you want to go out and have an adventure! its so refreshing
Read Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway. Susan Jeffers tone is definitely a bit cheesey but this is one of the best self help books I’ve ever read. It is absolutely ESSENTIAL. If you don’t feel like reading it there’s a ~3 hr audio book available.
Respect for doing incredible-adventure. I’m putting that shit on my LT goals. Do you really have to fight people? What if you fuck up? Do they kick your ass and you lose?