About the Author

"Roosh is a Washington DC native and worked as a scientist until he pulled out of the rat race to pursue a slower lifestyle. A member of the old Mystery's Lounge, Roosh built up his game after college, cumulating with the release of his book Bang almost seven years later. Currently he is writing his second book about his six month trip to South America in late 2007."

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Very good question this week…

Roosh,

Thanks for the tips so far. Teasing is indeed an essential part of building anticipation, and it must be done right, never mind the occaisonal case of blue-balls it may lead to. As I read further, I kept wondering about the idea of inspiring an emotion in others, and how it applies to cold-approaches and improving my ever-suffering game. Whether there was a way that I could just walk up to anyone I wanted to and get them interested in what I was talking about — as interested as I was in talking to them. I thought about the verbal aspect of teasing or more appropriately, banter, that is so important in establishing a connection. I just go plain cold when I’m on the floor and it surprisingly takes a lot to keep conversations going - where theoretically, it should come naturally to me.

But it doesn’t, it never has, since I was a child. It’s downright debilitating, and I need to fix it. Got any tips/stories/samples on this that could fill in the blanks and plug these holes and prevent me from falling apart in the trenches?

Answer:

Talk out of your ass.

I used to watch a friend of mine in action as he worked on girls and his major strength was keeping the conversation going. I asked him how he keeps finding thing to talk about and he said he just talks out of his ass, that whatever comes to his mind he just keeps going, almost like a machine, until a topic sticks and the girl contributes.

But here’s why it worked for him: he built attraction with a couple good routines. When attraction is built, you get a “pass” for a lot of the boring shit that, let’s be honest, is part of most conversations. For example if a drop dead gorgeous girl went off on a tangent about her job, would you punish her for that? Of course not because you are attracted to her. And with experience he knew what “bullshit” topics were safe and which were not.

What I’m thinking is happening to you is that you have a filter that prevents you from talking because you think it’s not good or it’s not “game.” Keep in mind that in a long conversation, much of the threads out of my mouth are quite boring, but every couple minutes I stumble on a bit of gold that makes her laugh or teases her and buys me several more minutes of boringness until eventually we get into this natural vibe and I don’t have to think about filling in the silence gaps.

What you want to do is have two or three routines memorized like the ones I share in my book, then from there you go into side topics that while are not award-winners, are still interesting and paints you in a positive light. It helps to mentally imagine approaching girls and their repsonses and how you would keep a conversation going. This is especially important if you are not naturally chatty and are in the early stages of learning chattiness.

Your “holes,” as you call them, are completely normal and until you get to the 100 approach mark or so they will continue to be there. I’m not saying things are like in the Matrix where all of a sudden you see the code, but very gradually the holes fill up and you forget you have them in the first place. Just keep it up and make sure you approach every week. After a few approaches come home and think about how you could have made those approaches better, without being yourself up about it.

Roosh is the author of Bang, a practical guide to getting laid that we reivew here. He recently contributed his First Date Survival Guide as part of the 31 Days To Better Game series.