About the Author

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. I am fascinated with improving our general well-being. It can be done. It must be done. Find me on Facebook, lets talk more.

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If there are physical areas of yourself that need improvement, now is the time to get serious about change. If you’re over weight, do every thing you possible can to get to your ideal weight. If you’re scrawny… join a gym and follow a good plan for bulking up. Basically you want to do everything I outlined in day 3 about updating your look. It is crucial that after her long time away from you, that when she finally sees you again there is a very noticeable improvement in your appearance.

During your time away from her you also need to be working on your social skills. You should not spend all of your time away from her thinking about her and planning your next move. You need to be filling your days with the most exciting, challenging, and personally rewarding events imaginable. You should be doing everything you can to take your mind off of her. You should be out talking, flirting, and building attraction with as many girls as you can. You should be hitting on other girls with reckless abandon.

Improving your social skills serves many purposes. Above everything else, it gives you a chance to see if you really want this girl to be your girlfriend. Many times guys fall for their female friend because she is the only girl in their life. Once these guys go out and meet some new girls they realize that there is an abundance of women and no longer cling to this one girl the way they used to.

The other benefit of improving your social skills will be that it will naturally make you more attractive to your friend. The confidence you will gain through your improvements will radiate throughout you. Your new found confidence will probably impress her more than your new body, haircut, or wardrobe. You will also be fine tuning your flirting skills which you will need later on when you start hanging out with your friend again.

The final benefit of improving your social skills immensely while you’re away from your female friend is because you’ll find it so much easier to create the confusion and jealousy that your aiming for. If you’re avoiding her phone calls and breaking plans with her, it is much more powerful if its because you really do have better plans and more options. This will come into play in part two when I discuss finally meeting up with her again.

The final thing you need to be doing relates strongly to lesson 1 which dealt with designing your life. While I’ve stressed that during your time away from your friend you should put her out of your mind as much as possible, there is one exception to that. I swear by this, as I truly believed it is what finally allowed me to turn a friend of five years into a lover a couple years back. Every morning upon waking and every evening before you go to bed, you need to spend fifteen minutes visualizing yourself with your friend as lovers. I don’t mean visualize the act of sex… I want you to visualize what it will be like after your first kiss. Experience the feeling of sitting next to her having moved past the friend zone. Hold the vision in your mind and feel all of the feelings associated with it.

This final exercise is so important because you have to train your brain to experience the new reality. I found the biggest factor that used to hold me back from making a move on my friend was that I could not imagine the outcome. The idea of laying in bed with her, or holding her hand, or just referring to her as my girlfriend was so foreign to me that it scared me senseless. As much as I wanted it my brain resisted out of fear.

I followed the entire plan outline above, and then supplemented it with the visualizations… and I truly believe that without the visualizations I would not have been able to succeed with the plan. If you want to learn more about visualizations re-read lesson 1.

This is the end of today’s lesson. I will be back on Monday to continue part two of turning a female friend into a girlfriend. Part two will deal with how you will act when you finally meet up with your friend again, how you will break rapport, amplify attraction, and go for the kiss.

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