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This week’s question is about guy friends…
Hey Roosh,
Quite a number of times, on dates or on the phone, a girl will mention other guy friends she has. Or talk about guys that they are “supposedly” not interested in. I assume this is another of many shit-tests… What’s the most effective way to nullify this? Should I be staying away from girls with a lot of guy friends? I always hear the line “I have way more guy friends than girl friends. Girls are so catty.” from women.
Answer:
IGNORE IT! Pretend she’s not mentioning these other guys and if she asks you for your advice on how to deal with them just say you don’t know but she could write into an advice column you caught in the newspaper.
This could be shit testing on part of the girl, but bottom line is it won’t change your plan. Ignore it and keep working on her. Your seduction will not be framed around her other relationships unless she has a serious boyfriend where you have to take a more indirect route than usual.
As for the girls who have a lot of guy friends, I’m sure there is some difference between them and normal girls, but I haven’t noticed anything strong enough that changes how I approach these types of girls. Don’t worry about it and focus on strengthening the attraction so that she’d be embarrassed to talk about other guys around you.
Roosh is the author of Bang, a practical yet complete guide to getting laid that we review here. He recently contributed his First Date Survival Guide as part of the 31 Days To Better Game series.
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July 25, 2008
that is so true. From what i’ve seen in many cases women just say shit to see how you’re going to react. I say the best way to handle this is to develop a James Bond-like reserve and don’t show any signs of being affected.
July 25, 2008
You know, i keep hearing this about women, but never seen any proof of it. I’ve never heard a woman admit she was saying something to gauge a reaction. I know I have never said anything for that reason.
But then again, i am also one of those girls who has almost exclusively male friends….
but then again, i wouldnt put it past them…they MIGHT be doing that.
Any women reading this - have you ever said stuff just to see how he would react?
July 25, 2008
well see that’s the thing athena, there’s somethings that humans do without being aware of it. Like the tests/shit tests. You don’t sit there and think hey i’m gonna test this guy and see just how far i can push him. It’s just something that’s ingrained in your subconcious that is triggered in certain situations.
July 25, 2008
I guess you just gotta take me on faith with this one, lilez.
I have never done that. Not that I find it insulting or anything, and yes, there ARE a lot of things people (and by people i assumed you meant women) are “trained” to do.
The way women are raised these days - I dont blame them for acting crazy. Men arent raised much better, but at least your message is consistent. Unfortunately, there is some ingrained paranoia of women thrown in there.
And hey, hell yeah, there are some weird, dangerous aspects to how women act and build their social hierarchy - you SHOULD be a little careful.
I’ve seen some crazy shit firsthand, and have even been tempted to do some pretty irrational things. But the question of WHY people do what they do has been my overwhelming passion since i was 3. I have been doing experiments and observations my whole life. At this point, (unless I’m super drunk) NOTHING leaves my mouth without me knowing the specific purpose.
What I find unusual, is that I have never heard a girl admit doing this, even in a roundabout (and they admit a LOT, even crazy shit they dont know WHY they do), and I have never been tempted or felt the social urge to do this. And I have never witnessed it firsthand. But at the same time, it is taken as common knowledge by men.
You would think that such widely known information would have at least SOME evidence…
July 25, 2008
Athena
I think men and women both to these subconsious tests on people we meet. We test them to see how much we can get away with. We do it to our boss at work, we did it to our parents when we were younger, and we do it to the people we’re dating. We don’t necessarily think “I’m going to see if I can get away with this” but at the same time we’ll show up 10 minutes late and see if they say something. If they don’t we’ll mentally note this. The more we realize we can get away with… the less respect we have for the person.
July 26, 2008
yes, i AM familiar with the concept. There are better ways to do it.
no faith…no faith…
July 27, 2008
Booby just summed it up in a nutshell, and i wasn’t referring to only women. Oh and about the trying to figure out why people do what they do thing… You’re probably gonna drive yourself nuts by trying to figure that out. I used to be the same way, but then i realized that somethings are better if they’re left unexplained.
July 31, 2008
Shit tests are real and you just have to train yourself to deflect them. I still do a lot of canned stuff and I have 3 canned non-sequitors for any given situation- girl: omg all of these boys keep calling me id: awesome. So let me ask you a question- did your parents praise you for not being bad when you were a kid? I was at this wedding last weekend and there was this little kid there… blah blah blah… As I write this I realize that I should do this a lot more- not just for shit tests but any non constructive thread that she is driving into celibacy land.