Aquí están las memorias definidas que tengo:

… El tragar saliva abajo de otros cuatro o cinco tiros de Aguardiente

… Hija de Jim sacudariendo su dedo ningún como intento lamerme el oído

… Esposa gorda de Jim que me quita de su hija y después que regana a su hija en público

Aquí están las memorias borrosas que tengo:

… Sofía que me empuja en un coche con un individuo español al azar

… El conducir a través de las montañas de Medellin que piensan me están secuestrando

… lanzando para arriba en un puerto-uno-potty en el lado del camino:

Aquí es donde las cosas consiguen feas:

Tropiezo en el apartamento y el tallo hacia fuera mi novia. I try to wake her up. I go caveman on her. I take off all of my clothes and demand sex. She is not turned on my aggressive drunken behavior… or my breath which reeks of puke.

Naked, I retreat to my bed. I try for a few minutes to jerk off. It’s not going to happen. I decide to piss before going to sleep. I walk to the bathroom.

I head back into our room.

Only I’m not in our room. I’m standing buck naked in the room where the aunt, Sofia and Anna are sleeping. Only they are not sleeping. They are staring at me and laughing and pointing for me to go back into the hallway and to my own room. I momentarily snap back into consciousness and walk into the hallway.

This time I wonder into my girl’s cousin Adolfo’s room. I start to crawl in bed with him. Naked. He wakes up and flips out. Hearing his anger the aunt comes into the room and in Spanish intervenes. (Most likely explaining that I’m a drunken mess who has no clue what room he is in… or probably even what country he is in)

The two of them guide my naked ass back to my room.

9:20 am

I wake up alone, naked, on my bed. I have vague flashes of the night before… I panic.

In the other room I hear the Spanish chatter of the entire family having breakfast. I am completely dehydrated and desperately want water, but thought of going into the kitchen to face the family is terrifying.

I close my eyes and go back to sleep.

11:40

My girlfriend wakes me up and tells me that I have to get dressed for her friend’s wedding. She asks me “What the hell happened last night”

11:53

I do the walk of shame to the bathroom. When I expose myself from the room… the entire family starts mocking me in Spanish. They are nice about it… but are openly amused. All I can think about was how pronounced the “shrinkage” was….

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