Hier is het welomlijnde geheugen dat ik heb gehad:

… Gulping onderaan nog eens vier of vijf schoten van Aguardiente

… De dochter die van Jim haar geen vinger schudt aangezien ik probeer om haar oor te likken

… De vette vrouw die van Jim me trekt van haar dochter en dan haar dochter in publiek berispt

Hier is het verwarde geheugen dat ik heb gehad:

… Sofia dat me duwt in een auto met een willekeurige Spaanse kerel

… Het drijven door de bergen van Medellin die word ik ontvoerd denkt

… omhoog werpend in haven-a-onbenullig aan de kant van de weg:

Hier is waar dingen lelijk wordt:

I stumble into the apartment and stalk out my girlfriend. I try to wake her up. I go caveman on her. I take off all of my clothes and demand sex. She is not turned on my aggressive drunken behavior… or my breath which reeks of puke.

Naked, I retreat to my bed. I try for a few minutes to jerk off. It’s not going to happen. I decide to piss before going to sleep. I walk to the bathroom.

I head back into our room.

Only I’m not in our room. I’m standing buck naked in the room where the aunt, Sofia and Anna are sleeping. Only they are not sleeping. They are staring at me and laughing and pointing for me to go back into the hallway and to my own room. I momentarily snap back into consciousness and walk into the hallway.

This time I wonder into my girl’s cousin Adolfo’s room. I start to crawl in bed with him. Naked. He wakes up and flips out. Hearing his anger the aunt comes into the room and in Spanish intervenes. (Most likely explaining that I’m a drunken mess who has no clue what room he is in… or probably even what country he is in)

The two of them guide my naked ass back to my room.

9:20 am

I wake up alone, naked, on my bed. I have vague flashes of the night before… I panic.

In the other room I hear the Spanish chatter of the entire family having breakfast. I am completely dehydrated and desperately want water, but thought of going into the kitchen to face the family is terrifying.

I close my eyes and go back to sleep.

11:40

My girlfriend wakes me up and tells me that I have to get dressed for her friend’s wedding. She asks me “What the hell happened last night”

11:53

I do the walk of shame to the bathroom. When I expose myself from the room… the entire family starts mocking me in Spanish. They are nice about it… but are openly amused. All I can think about was how pronounced the “shrinkage” was….

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