About the Author

"Roosh is a Washington DC native and worked as a scientist until he pulled out of the rat race to pursue a slower lifestyle. A member of the old Mystery's Lounge, Roosh built up his game after college, cumulating with the release of his book Bang almost seven years later. Currently he is writing his second book about his six month trip to South America in late 2007."

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Here’s a new question this week…

I push myself out more these days and approach way more people (and chicks) than before and I’m getting rejected left right and center. And the only opener that comes to me - that I’m most comfortable with - even though I’m pretty uncomfortable - is…”Hi” - then I introduce myself and ask her name - and it typically goes downhill from there.

But I’m not backing down. These days. once I start walking, I don’t care if I’m approaching lonely (but not looking for company) chicks, pairs (most common), chicks with boyfriend on their arm (I did this coz she locked eyes with me for over 10 seconds) or Attilla - suicidal, but fuck it. I have to catch up on my rejections.

This is where I’ve hit a brick wall — I’m not converting any approaches into successes. So far 100% of the girls I’ve met don’t want to sleep with me. I want attraction, then conversation - I’m not gonna ask for a number if I don’t see myself following up. Numbers don’t mean much to me. It’s the interest - so my real test would be to check if she was interested enough to ask for my number, call me or call me back.

Then there’s the butterflies - 8-9s who are at the club/bar for god-knows-fucking-what. They’ll flit around, drink, dance with their homegirl, talk to 4 other chicks, then queen around dudes who approach them - and go to the bathroom. WTF is up with that? Don’t they know California is in a state of drought. I want more game so they listen and obey - such is the sorry state of things.

Hope everything is well at your end Roosh - Keep up the good writing.

Answer:

I don’t like your opener. Sure you feel comfortable doing it but it gives you very little room to do anything else. You’re making the girl decide on the spot if she likes you or not since it’s leaning direct in nature.

Focus on indirect instead Let her talk to you for a few minutes until she thinks, “Hmm he’s a cool guy.” Don’t make her decide off the bat.

That said, try guessing games. Start an opener with “Let me guess…” then follow it with an observation about her. On the subway recently I used, “Let me guess, by the way you are dressed you are going to a bar or club.” That led to a conversation about where she was going and nightlife in general. (If I liked her we could have talked for quite a while.) It can be anything… experiment with it (I mention a good one in Bang).

Start small. Instead of going for sex, have a goal of her showing you indicators of interest. Is she asking questions about you, like your name? Because that’s the first step in attraction. So what do you have to do to get her to be interested in you in those first few minutes? You’ll probably have to come up with a funny/original opener, you’ll have to drop some intriguing hints about yourself (”Yeah i just came from…”), and you’ll probably have to make her laugh while being confident. With the approaches you’re doing I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon but use your BRAIN and THINK about different things you can do. If you’re doing something that doesn’t work, try something else. And keep approaching!

Roosh is the author of Bang, a 60,000 word guide to getting laid that we review here. He recently contributed his First Date Survival Guide as part of the 31 Days To Better Game series.