I was flipping through pictures from our recent DR Retreat and had to make the honest realization with myself that I am currently rocking a beer gut. These things tend to sneak up on us.
I used to work hard labor doing contracting… until recently quitting to run this website full time. Now instead of being on my feet all day lifting heavy objects… I sit at the computer. Even worse… now that I don’t have to be up early i am up later guzzling beers and eating late night snacks.
On top of that I’ve been traveling non stop for the month of August… which all has led up to the inevitable beer gut. Sure, I’m slowly getting back to the gym, refining my diet, and doing my ab exercises… but it takes a lot less time to grow a beer gut then it does to lose one.
So in the meantime, it is important to know how to hide a beer belly.
If you’ve got a gut there are certain clothes that you should not be wearing. Under no circumstance should you be wearing a snug fitting short. In fact, avoid short sleeve shirts altogether. I made the mistake of wearing a muscle shirt down in the DR to disastrous results. You also do not want to wear pants that fall below the gut.
A general theory is that the less in shape you are… the less casual you can dress.
Dressing to hide a beer gut requires that you spend more time structuring your clothing. This means wearing more layers that blend together to create a nice look. You should make sure you wear and undershirt tucked in. This will hold some of your fat in. If the temperature allows it, always try to wear long 
sleeves for proportion. Long sleeves will generally make you look slimmer. You want to make sure that you pants are worn to your belly button.
Ultimately, the best tool for hiding a beer gut… is to get rid of it through diet and exercise. But in the meantime you should always try to dress to impress.
There is a term used to describe certain fat people “they carry the weight well.” This just means that they are dressing in a way that is flattering to them.
If you’re completely clueless about fashion then you should read something like the Fashion Bible to get your bearings together.
You don’t have to have abs of steel to look good in clothing.
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August 28, 2008
all true… might i add if you are going bald let your hair grow long on the sides then comb it over the top. no one will no the difference.
yellow teeth? get a bottled tan, wear a brown tie and dark colors.
bags under your eyes from too many late nights? wear sun glasses.
no time for a shower? splash on some old spice
no girls to bang? hire an escort
no money? use a credit card
i know this post is meant to be a good short term solution for hiding a beer gut… and it is, but let us not forget a monkey in a suit is still a monkey.
how many of you know girls who you would totally hook up with if they would just lose some freaking weight? personality goes a long way but it doesn’t always make it to the bedroom.
bottom line: lose the gut, keep your hair trimmed very short if not shaved, get your teeth whitened, catch up on some sleep, take a shower already, work on your skills more, and get a job.
i say take a picture of yourself in that muscle shirt with your beer gut poking out then put it on the fridge and bathroom mirror as a reminder to get yourself in shape.
stay focused on the long term/big picture.
working out doesn’t have to be such a chore either. i know because i can be one lazy MF. i used to always ask myself why is it that something so good for me and will make me feel good about myself afterwards sooo hard to do?.. i came to the conclusion that it is hard to get motivated to exercise because it isn’t really fun. so make it fun anyway you can think up.. make up silly games.. try wii fitness.. swimming.. go ride bikes.. play a sport you enjoy where you actually work up a sweat. . and if you can find a buddy to do those things with you, then your motivation & fun is doubled too.
August 28, 2008
That’s some tough love there dude, haha.
Nice post Bobby
Recent Words from CrazySphinx..ATM People
August 28, 2008
Dude, I think this post is hilarious. Guys that have broad shoulders and wide hips tend to hold the weight well, as you say. They’ve got the “stocky look.” Slender guys with beer guts look terrible!! I say hit the gym and lift everyday or at least play some kind of sport regularly. The health benefits are even better than the aesthetic value.
August 29, 2008
I’ve noticed that if you call it a “buddha”… no one seems to mind…
“Come ‘ere and rub on ‘ole buddha, sweetheart”
lol
Recent Words from Brad..Pure Personality - Looks Don’t Matter - I Can’t Be Wrong?
August 29, 2008
There is also something to be said about the possible or potential size of a beer belly. Some of them can be very hard to actually hide.
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September 5, 2008
Regarding abs of steel, i had to scroll that page down for 20 minutes, where the author keeps going about how normal and repetitive exercises are all wrong and all other methods are wrong too! and then in the middle of this long page guess what [order now].
Surely if you do enough running and situps it will work as effective as something you need to order. I mean what is there new about abs exercises that have not been discovered in the last century for example?