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This next article is part of an ongoing series here at TSB Magazine called The Success Principles. The series is based on the 64 principles laid out by Jack Canfield in his course of the same name. If you’re new, I always suggest starting any series from the beginning.
Principle 21:Â Keep Score for Success
This next principle is one that was preached by many of the top dating coaches at last weekend’s Love System’s Super Conference. While I will be writing much more on our experience in Los Angeles for the dating/pickup conference, I thought that it tied in nicely with this next principle titled “Keep Score for Success.”
We asked many of the top dating coaches to recommend students one practical piece of advice to help them get through the awkward stage of learning how to efficiently communicate to women. A common answer shared by the instructors was to keep a success journal of everything that you worked for you. This was intended to keep students in a positive mindset of always experimenting and focusing on the small successess they were achieving along their journey to mastery.
In the groundbreaking book The Game of Work, Charles Coonradt also says that scorekeeping stimulates us to create more of the positive outcomes we’re keeping track of. It actually reinforces the behavior that created these outcomes in the first place.
Doesn’t it make total sense? If your looking to improve your communication skills, in the beginning most of what you’re doing will probably be wrong. If you go out, experiment with different techniques, and then go home and write down everything that worked, and discard the rest… you have some good momentum to get you motivated for your next round of experimentation. On your next time out, you can tweak the techniques that work, and implement and experiment with a few new techniques. If you continue tracking your results in a success journal after several months you should have ten or fifteen pages of “what works” written down for you.
Canfield’s advice:
Decide where you need to keep score in order to manifest your vision and achieve your goals.
Make sure to keep score in all the areas of your life:Â financial, professional, school, recreation and fun time, health and fitness, family and other relationships, personal projects, and contributions to others.
Post your scores where you and any others playing the game can easily see them.
This really is wonderful helpful advice that I recommend you implement immediately. A few weeks back I was a little down in regards to the lack of improvement I’ve seen in my journey to financial independence. Once I sat down and wrote all of the small successes that I’ve had over the last several months, I realized that even though I hit a bit of a plateau I will still miles ahead of where I was this time last year. That realization was just what I needed to gather that second wind of motivation.
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October 21, 2008
This is a great idea. I think it’s just what I need to get me back on track and helping me realize just how far I’ve come.
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October 29, 2008
This is awesome advice but something I thought most people do anyway naturally. Because like you said, it makes so much sense.
So, I personally for example, keep reviewing and reminding myself of what I said/did and how the interaction went so positively over the last few successes I’ve had (I’m talking about girls but you can do the same in other fields like athletics, etc.)
Like how I picked up a girl from bus, subway, doctor’s office while waiting in waiting room, etc. etc.
It’s nothing special and most people have probably done better. But if you keep reminding yourself of those successes, it makes you feel better (especially if you’re feeling a little down like you said) and it makes you realize, you’re already so much better than you were at same time last year and hence how much improvements you’ve made which makes you feel great!
It also motivates you to keep going further of course since now it has put you in a good state and you feel like you’re on a roll.
So even though these are ‘past memories’ and things that have already happened, you can either forget about them and never think about them again, or do the opposite and gain benefits from it. As long as you’re not living in the past or obsessed about it, I think it’s a really good idea for many reasons to keep those positive past memories in mind and remind yourselves of them every once in a while.