About the Author

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. I am fascinated with improving our general well-being. It can be done. It must be done. Find me on Facebook, lets talk more.

See All Posts by Bobby Rio

Episode 5 Thoughts

I hate Rion.

I just wanted to get that out of the way.  His prancing around stage and theater talk made me want to puke.  But the guy is a train wreck to watch… so I guess I’m glad he is still around.  The guy clearly has no sex drive.  Or maybe he just isn’t attracted to women… but I get absolutely no sense he actually wants to succeed with women.

Brian on the other hand was a clown.  A very likable clown.  But he clearly wasn’t getting any play anytime soon.  “I love pickle juice” WTF?!?!?!  It was sad to see him cry when he got the boot.  But in all fairness, he probably should have been kicked off last week.

Matt shows some signs of competence in the field… but usually winds up blowing it.  On one hand I find this frustrating, but on the other hand, I’ve been there.  I know how it feels to have momentarily flashes of brilliance, only to revert back to my old ways.

Greg is clearly sneaking by on his looks.  He doesn’t use any of the material in field.  And if he mentions the weather in Phoenix one more time I think Mystery and Matador will snap.

Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs)

For those of you who need a refresher on DHVs here is some classic advice from an old Mystery Method OAP.

So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have a higher value. How do we do this?

Storytelling is a crucial tool in your arsenal. You MUST learn how to entertain and keep a group’s interest in a story that you tell. Good storytelling is necessary for effective sub-communication (which we describe below), and is prized as a valuable social skill in itself. Plan and practice your stories. (learn how to tell hypnotic stories)

Learn how to have a good hook line (e.g., “hey, did you see that fight outside?”)

Learn how to leave open threads for your audience to ask about (e.g., “I was in Japan last week and all over Tokyo there are these machines that look like they sell soft drinks, but it’s actually like 50 flavors of milk. And you don’t put coins in, you use your cell phone to dial a drink”) . . . the open thread here of course is “what were you doing in Japan?”

Learn how to seek input for your stories in a safe way that doesn’t risk derailing where you’re going with the story. For example, if you are telling a story about your nephew, you might start with “My 8-year old nephew Samuel did the funniest thing this morning. You like kids right? [Wait for "yes" answer and then continue] Well, anyway, so here’s what happened . . .”

LIVE the story. This is most important principle of storytelling. If you are telling a story about a friend’s party, you have to see, hear, feel, smell, taste everything that you’re talking about. Express emotion. Be interested in what you’re talking about, or there is no chance that anyone else will be. Take your new friends on a journey with you through the story.

Sub-communication is the crucial art of communicating something about yourself without appearing to be trying to communicate it. This doesn’t have to be verbal. Not showing signs of interest in a beautiful woman (yet) will sub-communicate that you have and have had beautiful women in your life and that her beauty does not phase you. Or it can be verbal, often combined with storytelling. Here’s an example of part of a longer story — which I exaggerated for effect:

“My ex-girlfriend just picked me up at the airport tonight, and instead of her Audi she was driving a Maserati all of a sudden. It was too funny — I tried to pretend that I didn’t notice, and then like 100 yards outside the airport, we get pulled over. She didn’t tell me until afterwards that they’d just given her the car for a photo shoot she was doing, so when the cop lights came on, I was totally wondering what was up. Finally, I whispered to her: “Karen, if in the last three days you’d become a drug baron and were on the FBI hit list, you’d tell me right?” Anyway, even when it turns out we just had a broken headlight, . . . Etc., etc., [continue on in any direction from here for a punch line]“

In just a few sentences as part of story, we learn all sorts of things about the narrator. Most of these things, if he said them directly, would come off as bragging and would LOWER his value. But instead, because he sub-communicated them instead of communicated them, they RAISE his value. Here’s a quick list of some things that got communicated:

• He has an ex-girlfriend. He’s not a total loser.
• He is close enough to his ex-girlfriend that she would pick him up at the airport.
• He has a lifestyle where he travels (he’s coming from the airport).
• His ex-girlfriend has an Audi. This doesn’t necessarily give her a ton of value, but it gives her a little bit. Which gives you a bit of value by implication.
• His ex-girlfriend does photo shoots. She must be attractive.
• His ex-girlfriend does the kind of photo shoots where they’d give her a Maserati for the day as part of it. She must be very attractive.

The key to sub-communication is to make it subtle. A useful pattern is to be talking about something OTHER than what you are trying to sub-communicate. For example, in the story above, the purpose of the sub-communication is to tell the group that you are attractive to desirable women. However, the story itself is about getting pulled over by the police.

Use common sense and err on the side of too much subtlety, not too little. Don’t be the guy who says “So I was at my accountant’s office today, trying to figure out how much taxes I owe on the $50 million I earned last year, when he spilled orange juice on the rug. Did you know orange juice stains don’t come out?”. Stay far, far away from this. People will recognize that a story about orange juice stains did not require the details you included about how much money you make.

Also be aware of WHAT you are sub-communicating. The following things, if sub-communicated effectively, tend to be attractive to most women:
• Pre-selection (other attractive women want you)
• Wealth
• Power
• Social status (especially being the leader of men)
• Some unpredictability
• In control, not controlling
• Intrigue/curiosity/unanswered questions about you
• Being the protector of your loved ones

Interactive DHVs

An interactive DHV is where you SHOW the group that you have higher value through something you are doing then and there. For example, making people laugh, telling them something interesting, teaching them something, being a good dancer, or doing anything that shows that you are a cool guy, is in itself a DHV.

Negs

The Neg is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor for her. For example, if you say to a woman “Nice nails; are they real?” she will be forced to admit to you that they’re not (obviously, don’t use this one on a woman with real nails). Done correctly, this will momentarily embarrass her but in a way that doesn’t make you appear to be socially awkward. You really WERE trying to compliment her. It’s HER fault that she has imperfections, and that you just happened to address one of them. Obviously, one neg by itself will not lead to a relationship, but a well-calibrated neg in the context of a solid application of the Mystery Method can get you there.

As I mentioned above, the neg also disqualifies you as a potential suitor. Guys that hit on her simply don’t do this kind of thing. She’ll know it and her friends will know it. The fact that you are clearly NOT hitting on her sub-communicates several things:

It makes you a challenge. When every other guy fawns over her, but you aren’t won over yet, it’s more fun for her to try to get your attention and “convert” you than it is to play a game that’s already won.

It gives you higher value. If you’re not hitting on her, you must have other women in your life. Perhaps these women are more attractive and desirable than her. This reflects very well on you.

The best way to fully grasp the stuff, other than taking a bootcamp, is to study the material, practice, and rinse, wash, repeat, until you get in perfect.