About the Author

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. Also, I just released another free report on small talk called Small Talk Tactics.

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Sell the Sizzle Not the Steak

As some of you know I’ve been writing a lot of posts lately where I’ve related some tested sales and marketing techniques to the realm of dating science.

I was browsing various marketing blogs and found this passage on the idea of “selling the sizzle” and thought that it relates extremely well to attracting women.

The phrase “Sell the sizzle not the steak” is an old sales aphorism that tells us something about human nature. The best sales people in the world understand human nature almost intuitively.

When we go to the store to buy a lightbulb we don’t really want a lightbulb, we want the light it provides. When that bulb burns out – I curse the dark and buy another – for the light. I don’t really care about the bulb itself.

When we go out to eat (for steak or whatever) it’s not for the food itself. Sure, I may be hungry, but really I have a lot of choices to satisfy my hunger. I choose a restaurant because it gives me the kind of experience I want and solves my hunger problem. Taste, smell, ambiance, location, service are just a few of the reasons I might choose a particular restaurant. And these things speak to my emotions through my senses.

I don’t just buy any car, I may buy a make I trust, a model that makes me feel sporty, a color I like, with a stereo system that makes me feel like I’m in a concert hall. I am not just buying a method of getting from one place to another – I am buying an experience. This is why car sales people always want to get you to test drive a car

What kind of experience does an attractive woman want? And how can you give it to her?

Most attractive women have an abundant amount of choice when it comes to men. Yes. If you ask a woman what kind of man she wants she will more than likely say “a confident, well groomed, funny, successful man.” Or something in that ballpark. But the fact is, there are thousands of men that fit that description. Most of whom she would turn down if they hit on her at a bar.

It is your job to discover the “sizzle” she is looking for and give her exactly that. For some girls the “sizzle” will be a sense of adventure and spontaneity. For other girls the “sizzle” will be an illusion of chivalry. And for other girls the “sizzle” will be the reward of massive social approval.

Sell the sizzle not the steak. She doesn’t choose a guy at a bar because he’ll make a good boyfriend – She chooses him for the experience he promises.

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