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There is a myth crippling the minds of guys around the world. It is the myth of self esteem. It is the myth that self-confidence is something that it is owed to you.
As a culture we’ve become spoiled. We’ve been spoon fed the ideas that the misery in our life is not our fault. That it is the subliminal programming we’ve received from the media. Or our parents didn’t love us enough. Or we were picked on in the playground in the third grade.
This lack of self confidence stunts our growth. It takes most of the blame for all of our lack of achievement. We don’t get girls because we are un-confident. We over eat, we smoke, we do drugs, or drop out of college, all because we have low self esteem.
And then we look at the successful people. And we get filled with envy. And we say “I wish I had their self-confidence.”
So we decide that we’re going to go out and get us some self-esteem.
So we purchase CDs, we go to seminars, we read books, we practice NLP, and we try self hypnosis…
And bam… still nothing!
So now, we take comfort in wallowing in our misery. Maybe we even find some friends to wallow with. Or we go onto internet forums and complain to the masses. And these masses have just as low self-esteem as us, so they tell us it’s not our fault. It’s society. It’s conditioning.
Fuck that!
If you want self confidence: Earn it.
You’ve been around long enough to know that no one is ever going to hand you anything. And if you want something… you go out and you get it.
Go out and get yourself some confidence.
You don’t get self esteem or self confidence by complaining about how you don’t have it.
- You get it by going into the trenches and coming out alive.
- You get it by standing up to your biggest fears.
- You get it by putting your all into something, and not quitting until you taste the sweet scent of victory.
- You get it by saying you’re going to do something…. And doing it.
- You get it by surprising yourself day after day- that even with all your limitations and all those reasons you should fail- you persevere, defy the odds, and continually amaze yourself with what you can accomplish.
If you want unstoppable confidence… stealth inner game- my suggestion to you is take a good hard look at your life and find the one thing that scares the hell out of you. The thing you’ve put off your entire life. The obstacle that seems insurmountable.
And you conquer it.
You don’t stop until you conquer it.
It doesn’t matter if it takes you two years. You wake up every morning and you give it another shot. Every single day you take an action towards putting a dent in that wall.
One day that wall will crumble.
And you’ll come out a new man.
Great Post. Through the past few months I’ve worked on my own self-confidence and I’ve seen such great results from it in every aspect of my life. Self-Confidence and true confidence, not false bravado, will truly get anyone far in life.
Self-confidence is THE biggest factor in attracting women. If you have that, you are a REAL MAN. The techniques and “game” are just icing on the cake.
I used to be a seduction product whore. Through reflection, rejection, and rebirth, I have discovered my inner core.
Two “products” that have been instrumental in my development:
1. Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
*It’s not even a community product. It’s a small book by a Man that knows his shit and MANY of the guru’s in the community have read. If you are exploring how to develop your self-confidence, this book WILL help you. I guarantee it. Take a look at it in the bookstore.
2. Unbreakable by Christian Hudson and thesocialman dot com
*Yes, this is a community product. However, you will not come across the typical marketing shit that all the other products throw in your face. thesocialman is a down to earth approach to attracting women, and Unbreakable is a course offered that will give you the confidence to start owning Confidence. (disclaimer: I don’t have any affiliation with these guys but feel so strongly about their effectiveness that I wanted to share.)
Bobby have you read the book? I would enjoy hearing your input.
Great post.
I know every man’s path is different and a comment to a post like this will rarely be taken in and acted upon. But you will be doing yourself a huge favor if you check out the book at the very least.
Amen Bobby, good stuff as always I look forward to your posts. Always inspirational from the heart and always hit the right note. Cheers dude.
I’ve just recently realized that a guy who tries to solve his GF’s problems for her all the time to keep her dependent on him has an inner game issue.
*sigh*
Recent Words from evilwoobie..Girl Drama: Teach Your Girlfriend How to “Man Up†in a Personal Crisis
Really ? What a ridiculous ‘realization’. I suggest you take a break and then start a new brainstorming session.
Excellent post. It’s easy to place the blame on others than to succeed using confidence and new information. I love this. Not too long and straight to the point.
I agree. This very straight forward and concise. True self-confidence comes from within one’s self. Most people aren’t willing to accept their faults and overcome them. Instead they blame others for why things don’t turn out the way they want them to.
“If you want self confidence: Earn it.”
So true.
If you want money: take it.
If you want girls: Swoop them
- MPM
Recent Words from The G Manifesto..John McCain seeks pardon for Jack Johnson (And I don’t mean that crappy singer either)
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one of the best post by Bobby Rio .
Thanks keep it up
We want more GEMS from you.
Thanks man!
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and studying about self esteem and self confidence, so i’ll definitely be putting together some new stuff very shortly