About the Author

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. Also, I just released another free report on small talk called Small Talk Tactics.

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How to Blow a First Date

I get a lot of questions from guys wondering what went wrong on their first date.

Usually, leading up to the first date, these guys are pumped and excited for the day to come.  I get to hear about how everything went right when they approached her in the bar.  I get to hear how smoothly they asked for her number.  And I get the juicy details of the first phone call.

But then an odd thing happens.

These same guys rarely follow up with an exciting story of how they pulled the woman into the bathroom for a quickie on the first date, or even a story of a good date ending with a simple kiss.

It seems a good deal of the first dates I hear about are more often train wrecks that I twinge just hearing about.

After hearing hundreds of first date horror stories, I’ve come to realize that there are 7 big mistakes that most men make on their first date.

MISTAKE #1:  Spending too much time on the phone with the girl before the actual date

Have you ever found yourself on a two hour phone conversation with a girl you’ve still haven’t met up with?  At the time you were probably thinking how much of a connection the two of you had… imaging how great the actual date would be when you had a chance to connect in person.

It usually didn’t wind up that way, right?

What often happens is a guy winds up telling a woman his entire life story before he actually meets her.  This ruins the first date on several levels.  First, he’s already had his first date conversation over the phone, so now he’s often stuck for things to talk about.  Second, he’s given away most the mystery about himself, leaving himself very little to “reveal” to the girl over the course of the date.  And third, since most guys don’t have great phone skills, he’ll actually lose her interest before he ever even shows up for the date…

From now on, keep your pre-date phone conversations to the bare minimum.

MISTAKE #2:  Calling it a “date” and building up the event too much in his mind

For some reasons most guys are still stuck on the notion that their first date with a woman needs to be an elaborate night out to a fancy dinner.

The man winds up telling the woman “I want to take you out.”  And from that very moment, has set high expectations for the date.  And he has also placed himself in the role of the pursuer.

What is so defeating about this idea of asking her on a “date” is that is puts a large amount of pressure on the both of you.

It also puts her in a position where from the moment you pick her up, she is judging you, and already deciding whether or not she wants to “date” you.

From now on, keep the first date very casual.  Instead of looking at it as date, simply view it as her joining you for some fun.

MISTAKE #3:  Choosing the wrong kind of location for a first date

As mentioned previously, most men still wind up taking a woman to dinner on a first date.  Next to the movies, dinner is probably the worst environment for a first date.

Dinner is way too formal.  It places you on opposite ends of a table, and quite frankly, too closely resembles an interview process.

An ideal first date location should be something much more relaxed, an environment that lends itself to fun and flirtation.  And no, I don’t mean a coffee shop.  Coffee dates are just as bad as dinner dates.

Instead invite her to the mall to help you pick out a pair of shoes, or ask her to meet you for Happy Hour, or challenge her to game of billiards, or mini-golf, or take her to a museum.  (READ MORE)

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