About the Author
Masculine Qualities (without looking like a meat head)
I think there is a lot of confusion about the term “alpha male.” There are so many people out there throwing the term around so loosely that many of us have distorted its meaning.
So I want to just toss out the term completely.
Let’s just focus on the idea of displaying your masculinity.
The first thing that might pop into many of our heads when we think of the idea of displaying masculinity is the meat head in the bar looking to take a swing at the first guy that looks at his girl. Or some of us might have visions Michael Phelps collecting his ninth gold medal. And others of us might imagine masculinity to be a suave James Bond character effortlessly seducing the most beautiful women in the bar.
But masculinity does not always have to be this massive display of showmanship.
In fact, often time, masculinity is best expressed in the subtle things we do. It is silently conveyed with decisions we make. And it is ultimately defined by the way we live our lives.
What are the qualities of masculinity that we can incorporate into our being?
“There are two questions a man must ask himself: The first is ‘Where am I going?’ and the second is ‘Who will come with me?’ If you ever get these two questions in the wrong order you are in trouble.”
The first thing a man needs to do in order to encapsulate the characteristics of masculinity is to take full responsibility for his life.
Take full responsibility for your life
You must decide right now that you will be the sole determiner of how your life pans out. This means that you no longer blame anyone or anything outside of yourself for your success or failures. You have made a crystal clear decision of what you want to achieve in life… and you take 100% full responsibility for achieving it.
Once you have taken this internal vow of full responsibility for your life it is time to set boundaries for yourself. These boundaries will make up what many people refer to as “integrity.” These boundaries will define your own behavior, and will also define the behavior you are willing to tolerate in other people.
Set your personal boundaries
One of the most prominently displayed characteristics of a real man is the ability to walk away from anyone or anything that compromises the boundaries that he has set for himself.
Throughout life you will often run into people who will try to exert control over you through the use of guilt, approval, sex, money, or shame… there is nothing more powerfully masculine then to send the message to everyone around you that you cannot be controlled.
This puts you in the position of being the person that other people revolve around… rather than twisting your ideals, values, and goals for the first woman willing to spread her legs for you. And this “willingness to walk away” radiates outward…
Ask yourself, “What am I not willing to tolerate in myself?”
Ask yourself, “What am I not willing to tolerate in those around me?
Show your sword without using it
When many men decide to set boundaries for themselves and define how their life will go, they make the mistake of taking on a “me vs. the world” attitude.
Now that they’ve finally set boundaries for themselves they look for any opportunity they can to enforce these boundaries through the use of sharp words… or brute force.
But this way “me vs. the world” attitude winds up having the opposite effect, and instead makes the man look like a little boy unable to control his emotions.
Much more powerful is the man who is able to show his sword without using it. This is the man who has such rock solid internal confidence that those around him naturally back down without him having to use threats or violence to accomplish this. The man may know that he can “take” the other guy… but instead he handles the situation in a mature manner… allowing the other guy to save face.
Be “cool as hell” in a gun fight
Anybody can put on a mask of manliness and walk through life. And many times that false mask will get you pretty far. But you can count on one thing… at some point in your life you will be tested. And it will be at that point that your true colors will be revealed.
I remember a few years back I knew a guy around campus who was dealing drugs. This guy had the outward appearance of “being cool” and “alpha.” But when the day came where the cops busted into his dorm room, that same guy cried like a girl, and began ratting out everybody he knows.
Real men are able to control their emotions in every situation. When a real man catches his woman cheating on him… he simply walks away and finds another one. He doesn’t let the pain from the encounter send him into an emotional tailspin wounding him for life, and making him permanently lose trust in women.
A real man is a rock in every situation.
And a real man handles himself the exact same way no matter who he is around. This means that he is unaffected by beauty, class, wealth, or social privilege. He can intermingle between any groups, and does not shift his values to do so.
Encourage and mentor others
A real man is so content and satisfied with own life that he does not feel threatened by the success of others. In fact, a real man encourages the success of others and looks for ways that he can help other men accomplish their goals.
You will find throughout life that many men who you initially think of as “real men” will often reveal their true colors by trying to “hold down” other men who they feel as a threat to their power.
Real men don’t feel threatened by anyone else’s success.