Introducing the Mulligan

J.H. Norton (LOC)Have you ever been SHOT DOWN? How about REJECTED? Were you ever DENIED? Or perhaps there was a time when you got BLOWN OUT?

You’re probably nodding your head yes. Aren’t you? Well, stop nodding. Never once were you ever “shot down”, “rejected”, “denied”, or, the most brutal sounding of all, “blown out”.

Those words are the jewels in the shit crowns of losers. Fuck losers. Losers sit around and catalogue their failings like historians of misery. Like bitter masochists, they not only continually replay their failings to themselves – they actually give their failings painful sounding names.

SHOT DOWN? How the fuck would that feel. BLOWN OUT? What sort of agony might accompany something like that?

Guys who never experience a shoot down, rejection, denial, or blow out are true macks fo the rizzle. And you are one now, too. So you will never again suffer through the torturous phrases of the loser class.

Sometimes girls are momentarily be unaware of a guy’s inherent awesomeness, and so she may act rude, shy, unresponsive, or a variety of other behaviors I like to call “RETARDED.” So I invented a term for this that perfectly encapsulates the reality of this retarded behavior:

MULLIGAN!

Yes, like in golf, this girl has just served you a mulligan. For non-golfers and space aliens, a mulligan is when you accidentally fuck up a shot so you get another shot without adding a stroke to your score. Sort of like a “do-over”, but mulligan sounds funnier when you scream it in a bar.

And that’s exactly what you should do.

Whenever a girl acts in a way you’d deem retarded, don’t get mad. Don’t get upset. Don’t even get another girl. Get a mulligan. Simply walk away then come back later and resume as if you never met the girl. Mulligan! Don’t add a stroke, add a girl.

It may just seem like a funny phrase or something amusing to scream in a packed bar (and it is, trust me) but it also serves a higher cylene's birthdaypurpose. It communicates a key concept that’s absolutely essential to becoming good with women: The concept of a world without dead ends.

No decision is ever final.

One minute a girl may turn her back to you, the next she’s leading you by the hand to her bedroom. Female attraction is time dependent. She might love you one moment, hate you the next. And, conversely, she may think you’re the biggest creep in the world, but later fall in love with you.

Believe in the mulligan. Believe.

Because ultimately, that’s the game of dating: a series of mulligans standing in between you and the girl before you have sex. When you hit a mulligan, you’ve encountered an obstacle. No big deal, just remove it.

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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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