More Great Moments in txt Message History: Flake Recovery

Man typing a text message on a smartphone

How to Handle When a Girl Flakes on You

Background

Flakes. We’ve all been there. If you’re in this game, you’ve had a girl happily hand out her number one minute, but then act as if you’re Bruce Willis in the Sixth Sense when you text or call her. While losing a certain percentage of girls to “The Cinderella Effect” (my term for when a girl does a complete 180 from the sweet, gregarious girl she was the night you met her), you can occasionally salvage a girl here or there by remaining persistent with the follow up and by saying the right things.

Most guys chalk up a girl’s flaky behavior to a weakness in their game. But this could not be further from the truth since that guy had to have done a great job to get the number in the first place. A slew of behind-the-scenes factors are at work when a girl goes AWOL. She might be shy, lazy, in a relationship, or a host of other things (some of which you probably can’t even speculate) that makes her decide to ignore your existence. But as we all know, no decision a girl makes is ever final so there is still hope…

Thus, any up-and-coming ladies’ man should get in the habit of “playing the numbers.” Rather than just throwing in the towel when you don’t get a response after a text or two, keep sporadically hitting her up. While some of your efforts may continue to fall on deaf ears, sometimes you’ll de-flakify a total hotty. Recently, I had this happen, creating a GREAT MOMENT IN TXT HISTORY. Check the text:

Rob: What are your feelings on having a lovechild??

Babe: Im torn between saying: with me? and, did you get the wrong number? (I haven’t heard from you in a while).

Rob: Harhar… A bit of both. I was scrolling thru my phone and remembered you had lovechild potential. What’s up

Babe: Well Im flattered you thought of me. I just got out of class. Your text made me burst out in laughter half way through. How bout you? How are things?

Rob: Haaa you think I’m kidding…I already have a name picked out. Anyway, yeah I agree we should catch up over drinks tomorrow evening

Babe: Depends on what the name is.

Rob: We will name him Math. He will somehow come out Asian.

Babe: I’m not impressed. Sorry.

Rob: That’s perfect actually. I aim to unimpress so you have lowered standards…

Rob: …then when we meet up and I am looking dapper like a 5th grader on picture day, you will find yourself helpless at the whim of my alluring charm

Babe: Uhu…kinda a sketchy game plan. The flaw in it is that I forget what you look like, so I am now expecting a sex bomb waiting for me in front of the bar.

Rob: OK, well… I lost weight since I met you so I’m down to 450 pounds and I’m only missing 6 teeth now so I think you’re in for quiet a treat, Missy 😉

Babe: I’m such a lucky gal. I’ve had 3 kids. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get along with them just great. If you want to meet up for drinks, I’m down. But if you’re looking for love child material, you may be disappointed.

Rob: You’re so hard on yourself – I don’t think you’re going to disappoint me. So yes, let’s get drinks. Are you free at 9?

Babe: Mmm…Friday actually works better for me if that fits your schedule.

Rob: Yeah, that works…look for the 450 pound dude missing his front teeth 😉

Babe: Alright, where should I look for him?

The Breakdown

The most important thing to remember when running de-flake phone or text game is that you need to get her attention. Merely sending a wimpy text like “Great meeting you 4 months ago!!1 Srsly let’s hang out again!” usually will not work if she’s flaking. You need to deviate significantly from the norm so that she stops her in her tracks and takes notice.

Recovering from Bad Texts

In the above example, I texted “What are your feelings on having a lovechild??” which is funny yet a little edgy. I actually sent that text out to 4 other flakes that day, none of whom responded. However, I hooked the one girl who did (evinced by her telling me she “burst out in laughter”). The key to de-flaking by phone and text is to bust out of the heavy artillery a.k.a. “get weird.” While you may repulse some girls with your weirdness, a percentage will find it funny and/or attractive. Regardless, if a girl’s not responding anyway, you have nothing to lose by ramping up the funny/sexual/bizarre factor.

However, just because she responds doesn’t mean your job done. The fact remains that you’re a guy she initially flaked. If she senses any bitterness, insecurity, or neediness coming from you, it’s game over. Not only that, but girls will actually prod to see if such feelings exist. She doesn’t remember you from a hole in the wall so while she may find your witty text banter amusing, she has to be sure that if she invests her time in you that you’re not going to chew her out for flaking or turn out to be a total weirdo.

Notice how this girl was prodding me throughout the exchange. Notably, girls will usually bring up two formidable challenges after they initially flaked: 1.) why are you still texting them, 2.) asking you what you look like (because she “forgot”). I proactively disarmed the first challenge by nonchalantly claiming, “I was scrolling thru my phone and remembered [she] had lovechild potential.” However, the second challenge is a bit more complicated.

I learned my lesson about “I forget what you look like” the hard way after getting burned a few times. Regardless if you’re Derek Zoolander (or have an extra flattering of picture yourself that makes you look as such), mark my words: it’s never a good idea to send your picture to a girl. That’s because she’s not really saying, “I forget what you look like.” What she’s really saying is, “Are you going to jump through hoops for me?” Hence, that’s why telling girls “I lost weight so I’m down to 450 pounds and am only missing 6 teeth” is so effective. Humor aside, it basically says to her, “I’m not like every other muppet who’s texting you and trying to prove myself.” Nowadays, whenever a girl brings up how she “forgot what I looked like” I see it as a fastball to knock out of the park. From there, just remain emotionally detached while keeping the texts humorous and moving the interaction toward a meet up.

Rather than just read about de-flaking girls, I hope you’re inspired to rework some old numbers. Always remember: she gave you her number because she liked you. She wants you to win just as much as you want to win. But, at the same time, she wants to make sure you’re normal and cool. As long as you keep the parameters of this article in mind, you should have no problem recovering a couple girls who went “Cinderella” on you. Oh and when you meet up with them, tell them the 450-pound guy missing his front teeth says hi.

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