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How To Become A Dominant Alpha Male
I’m writing this from my bed, on a laptop. The whole room still reeks of sex…hopefully that will inspire me to write a great article for you today. But here’s why I wanted to shoot your this email right NOW: I just realized that now, I do all the techniques in the Sex God Method without even thinking about it. Because I’ve studied it so extensively, being Dominant in bed comes natural to me.
But I remember that it wasn’t always like that. When I first starting using Dominance to turn women on, I always felt like I just “wasn’t that type of guy.” I didn’t see myself as the type of guy who talked dirty to women and who they could be intensely sexual with, so whenever I tried to turn her on with Dominance I would feel really nervous and anxious. I was smart enough to realize that Dominance DID turn women on … but for a long time, I couldn’t find the courage to actually DO it.
So here’s the deal:
EVERYONE feels some level of anxiety when they’re trying out these Dominance techniques for the first time. It’s not just you. I myself felt really nervous when I first started trying out this stuff.
And it’s critical that you have a definite PLAN to get over this “Dominance Anxiety.” Because if you don’t, then all your knowledge about Dominance will just be a bunch of theory which isn’t used. And in theoretical-land you might be able to give women orgasms with this, but in the REAL WORLD it will count for nothing.
I’m not in the theoretical knowledge business – I’m here to teach you exactly how to give women orgasms, actually for real. So here are three things that really helped me overcome my “Dominance Anxiety,” and which I think can help you as well:
Step #1: The Power of the Negative Thinking
One technique that I’ve found especially effective in overcoming “Dominance Anxiety” is to think NEGATIVE. Here’s what I mean by this:
As humans, it’s natural for our imaginations to run wild picturing our “nightmare scenarios” when we try something new. And especially in the bedroom, since our egos are so vulnerable, these imagined “nightmare scenarios” tend to be especially severe.
I can remember the first time I tried talking dirty to a woman, my heart was pounding with nervousness because of this. I kept imagining that I would say one dirty thing to her, and she would just sit bolt upright and say “No, I am NOT a slut! You’re a creepy weirdo! I’m outta here – bye!”
Of course this NEVER happens in reality, but I imagined it so vividly, and so many times, that it didn’t matter. It really affected my confidence, even though it was grossly paranoid. But then one day, I sat down and thought, “OK, so what if that really DID happen? Would I be OK?”
And when I really thought about it, I realized that I would be. Of course a sexual rejection like this would hurt, but I knew from past experience that I would survive and get back on the horse. And just like that, my “nightmare scenario” was reduced to a just a few days of feeling bad, which I’d been through before and I knew I could overcome again. And once I realized that’s all it was, INSTANTLY I became much more confident in using my Dominance techniques. Realizing that my “nightmare” really wasn’t all that bad, and that I would survive if it happened, robbed it of all it’s power. So if you’re experiencing Dominance Anxiety right now, here’s what I recommend that you do:
First, really allow your imagination to run wild to think of the WORST possible thing that could happen if you tried Dominance stuff in bed. Picture your nightmare scenario.
Then, think about how you would survive if your nightmare scenario actually happened. You’ve experienced some sort of rejection before, and you survived that…so even if your nightmare scenario did happen, it probably wouldn’t be as bad as you think.
Finally, think about how UNLIKELY your nightmare scenario actually is. I mean, have you ever even HEARD of anything like this happening to anyone? If you really think about it, you’ll realize that something this bad actually happening are extremely, extremely small.
And once you “think negative” like this, your nightmare scenario won’t cause you so much anxiety anymore. You’ll be able to relax and confidently pull use the Dominance techniques – and she’ll have more orgasms because of it.
Step #2: Start Small and Work Up
A classic mistake guys make with Dominance is reading about it, then trying the most extreme, crazy, advanced Dominance technique right off the bat.
Like, guys who’ve been in a relationship for five years without using ANY Dominance will all of a sudden say “You’re MY dirty little slut, you belong to me” in the bedroom. And of course, since he’s never done anything like this before, his girlfriend is a little confused by the sudden change. This causes the guy to think “man, I suck at this stuff, I can never pull it off.” But the REAL problem was he tried to do too much, too soon. He would have been much better off to START SMALL to build his confidence, and then work up to more advanced techniques.
One great way to start small with Dominance is to just start making NOISES during sex. Just moan to let her know how much pleasure you’re feeling, and see how much better she likes this then when you’re silent. Once you do this, just start telling her how good it feels to have sex with her. Just say something like “it feels so amazing being inside you right now.” Again, very low risk and a HUGE step up from not saying anything in bed.
And once you see how much she enjoys THIS, it’ll give you the confidence to try more advanced dirty talk and manhandling techniques.
But the key is to start small – this is how you start the cycle of confidence building, and beat your Dominance Anxiety for good.
Step #3: Get Their Techniques Down Cold
In jiu-jitsu, the move I am most confident with is called the arm triangle. This is because I have a deep, extensive knowledge of the technique. I’ve had multiple black belts explain the theory behind it to me, and I’ve drilled the details of the move literally thousands of times.
And in the bedroom, it’s going to be the same with your sexual techniques. Because if you have a half-assed knowledge of Dominance and you’re trying to “wing it,” OF COURSE you’re not going to be very confident! But if you have a deep, extensive, black-belt level knowledge of the technique then you’ll be much more comfortable doing it in a real life situation.
So if you’re dealing with a little bit of “Dominance Anxiety” right now, don’t try to “wing it,” or invent Dominance techniques on the fly. This will only make your anxiety worse. Instead, know your Dominance stuff down COLD – this will make you 100x more confident when you do it in the bedroom.