» Insider Secret: The Best Place to Meet Women You’d Never Guess, or the Art of Scrapping

by Rob J. on May 4, 2010

It’s Friday night and the lines for New York’s hottest clubs are snaking around every corner. Girls look dolled up like prom queens on steroids and guys are pulling out their wallets to grease the palm of any doorman with a free hand. Like the emperor’s new clothes, everyone sees the same nightlife mirage: once inside the exclusive club, all the beautiful people are waiting.

I watch this spectacle unfold as I squeeze mustard onto large pretzel. The delicious New York snack is almost too-hot-to-hold as I’d just bought it from the hot dog vendor poached outside the entrance to an exclusive, high-end venue. I nudge Zack Bauer, my proverbial wingman, and laugh as I point to the street vendor, “This guy has the same idea as us—scrapping.”

“Ah, yes,”  Zack retorts, “The ancient art of scrapping.”

Ladies

Ladies

Like two old wise men, we snicker at the unfortunate herd of guys elbowing their way to the front of the nightclub line—a few gaining access, lots turned away. “If they only knew,” I say to Zack, “That the best place to meet women is right in front of them, yet they don’t even realize it.”

What’s that place you ask?

The street.

After spending years going to meet and attract women in every situation and permutation you can possibly imagine, a golden nugget of obvious truth I’ve sifted away from my countless nights out is the “word” on the street. I’ve found that the easiest way to meet hot “club girls” isn’t by going into the club at all—instead it’s to approach them outside of the club, on the street. While Zack and I playfully call this “scrapping,” it certainly should not imply you’re settling for the scraps.

There’s not much of a method to scrapping as a mentality. A very fine line exists between “The Art of Scrapping” and “The Arrest from Scrapping.” Approaching girls on the street is a delicate situation, and one that can quickly become very creepy, very fast. If you’re new to the game, you might want to keep elbowing your way through the nightclub line and hone your social skills there.

If, however, you feel confident in your ability to be non-creepy, then adopt the “scrapper” mentality. A simple understanding of how and why this ancient art forms works could save you the headache and rejection of dealing with nightclub drama. Here are a few quick tips to get you out on the street, scrapping your heart out:

1. Why scrap? The minute you step into a nightclub, you’re already at a disadvantage. Nightclubs are set up like casinos: they profit on losers. For a guy, it’s essentially impossible to look “cool” in a nightclub. The best you can do is look “not totally awkward.” Moreover, hot women often feel “too cool” inside the venue, being bombarded with approaches and offers from every guy with half a set of balls. This inflated sense of self makes having a genuine interaction with these girls virtually impossible.

Finally, within a venue, a multitude of formidable obstacles await. Her social group will actively box you out, jealous haters will attempt to sabotage your success, and the venue will try to tool you into spending money. And that doesn’t even take into account the fights that could break out, her friends who could get sick, or the bazillion other factors that come with the territory of in-venue pickup.

Girls outside of club

Girls outside of club

Out on the street, most of those obstacles are neutralized: often social groups break apart, her inflated sense of importance deflates, and you’re a tabula rasa to her—not another tool hitting on her in the venue. Also, you no longer have to compete with loud music and pushy crowds.

2. How to scrap? Again, scrapping is not motivated by desperation—it’s an art. And a delicate art at that. If you come on too strong, you’re going to seem pathetic. If you don’t come on strong enough, she’ll just ignore you. The margin for error on the street is slim, but you can circumvent that by remembering one key concept: FUN.

If you seem “fun,”  she will give you a chance. Keep in mind, this girl just walked out of (or is going to) a nightclub. She’s out to enjoy herself. If you radiate fun, you’ll pique her interest. Personally, I recommend opening very loud, very playful, and very direct. If she’s walking toward you, then you might throw open your arms, smile, and say, “Girlfriend—there you are! Come, let’s enjoy that martini I promised you” and take her by the hand.

The next step after opening with a fun vibe is momentum. Opening on the street is not the time to game your face off. It’s a quick swipe that should take no more than 2 minutes. You should suggest a “fun” activity immediately after opening with a playful vibe. Some great scrapping pastimes include:

Going to a subdued, laid back venue in the area
Going for a “romantic dinner date” at a local diner
Going on a “speed date” together on the street

Essentially, the post-scrap activity isn’t rocket science. The general rules are, 1.) make sure it sounds fun/funny, 2.) make sure it’s within walking distance, 3.) be playful when you suggest it.

With those simple pointers in mind, you can save yourself a lot of time, energy, and money by mastering the art of the scrap. As a word of warning, scrapping is a high stakes game. Even if your scrapping game is tight, you’ll still get rejected much more than if you were approaching women in the venue. However, the girls who do go for it will much more solid than the flakes you meet in a high-energy venue. Give it a shot this weekend and see if you ever step foot in a nightclub again.

About the Author

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Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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