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Four Fatal Mistakes Guys Make With Women


And What To Do Instead

Guys make all kinds of mistakes with women. Mistakes that lead to loneliness, desperation, porn addiction and mediocre relationships. If you are making any of the following four goof-ups, you are severally interfering with your own success and need to stop cock-blocking yourself immediately. Here’s how:

1. Not Meeting Enough Women

I find it amazing that more lonely men don’t put more of an effort into getting out there and meeting women on a regular basis. Guys piss and moan about not getting laid, how girls don’t like them, and how they’ll never find the right girl for a relationship, but then they stay home playing video games, or surfing the web instead of trying to get the thing they want before all else.

Hot chicks aren’t just going to show up on your doorstep and want to come in. You’ve got to go out there and find some. And you don’t need to be some PUA either, there are several things you can do to meet women. Whether it’s by expanding your social circle, going to a different Starbucks in the morning or joining a dating website, this planet is crawling with hotties just waiting to meet you!

2. Not Flirting With Women

Let’s say you go out and grab a sandwich at your local bar and grill, and your bartender is a total babe … What do you do? Do you feel awkward as you robotically say “Chicken sandwich please” and then stare at her ass every time she bends over like 98% percent of her customers or do you facilitate sexiness?

Acting stiff and boring around women is like labeling yourself as non-fuckable. It tells her that:

A. You are completely uninterested and possibly gay, or
B. You are too much of a chicken-shit to express your interest

Neither of which is any good. So, to fix this problem, you need to start flirting with ALL of the attractive women that you come into contact with. If it sounds scary, don’t worry, it’s a piece of cake.

Basic flirting is nothing more than making sexy eye contact, smiling, and engaging women in “non-serious” conversations. So, when your hottie bartender asks you what you would like to eat, just drop your eye-lids halfway, smile and ask her what she thinks you should get.

3. Not Asking Women Out

Don't be this guy

Don't be this guy

The next step after meeting and flirting with women is to ask them to hang out with you. Because, if you don’t ask the women you talk to out, how the heck are you going to get anywhere with them?

I know tons of guys who obsess over some female “friend” or some girl at there work for YEARS without ever asking them out, HUGE MISTAKE! Where does that get you? The friends zone of course, and that’s exactly where you don’t want to be.

So, make it a point to ask out all the girls you want to date as soon as possible without looking desperate. In other words, you want to talk and flirt first, and build up some comfort and share a laugh or two and then ask her what she is up to later on.

4. Not Busting Your Move On Time

This one is a doozy. If you are alone with a girl you like for an extended period of time, say a couple hours, then you’ve got to show her some love and start getting physical. If you don’t pull the trigger fast enough, your chick is liable to start wondering what is wrong with you.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys out there can’t see the fact that a huge percentage of women are totally down for first night sex so long as the guy knows how to take charge and make it happen.

The key is to feel confident as you proceed sexually, not acting awkward like you are doing something wrong. Own the fact that you want to hit it and your chances are good that she’ll be down as well!

If you’d like a step-by-step program on how to meet, flirt, date and hook up with more quality women than you’ll know what to do with, visit my website right now and grab a copy of my Online Dating Secrets E-Course as my free gift!

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About Jake Vandenhoff

Jake Vandenhoff is a dating coach and author specializing in self-development and online dating. He offers an array of programs to help guys succeed with women naturally, without relying on outdated PUA tactics. His Online Dating Playbook offers step-by-step instructions for meeting girls online, and connecting with them authentically. Visit to claim a free copy of Jake's Online Dating Secrets eCourse.

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  1. Bobby Rio

    November 4, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    Awesome tips Jake… these are definitely 4 mistakes that hit home for me… as i used to make all them quite a bit.

  2. Tom

    November 4, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    The interest part is really hard. And if you read community stuff like DYD or Mystery Method they tell you not to show interest but then show interest than not and how confusing. Your head spins!

    Is there any good community info that can actually help a guy?

  3. Jake Vandenhoff

    November 5, 2010 at 12:35 am

    Hey Tom,
    I hear you man, too much contradictory information can get your head spinning for sure! As for info that can help a guy… well, I’m partial to my own stuff, LOL.

    But seriously, there is nothing wrong with showing interest in a girl! Don’t beleive the hype, girls love it when I guy can show genuine interest, and do it in an authentic way. Like I said in the article, “Own the fact that you want to hit it and your chances are good that she’ll be down as well!

  4. short

    May 15, 2011 at 11:28 pm


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