Understand the Fear, Don’t Hate It
For many a moon I have come across guys who hated ‘getting the fear.’ Maybe it happens to you – you see a hot girl, you are completely mentally unprepared and you feel that lurch in the pit of your stomach, your muscles clench and the fear washes over you.
My partner in crime over at Social Masters, the good gentleman Mr. Preston Blain, sure as hell used to get (and hate) the ‘Fear’ when I first met him. But, over time he has come to realize that the fear is there for a reason. and that you should learn to embrace it rather than hate it.
It’s understandable …
In many situations where we feel fear we would rather just ‘get the hell out of dodge’ than face up to reality. Why would you wanna subject yourself to that horrible pit of the stomach feeling that makes you feel sick as a dog, when you can just flee and retreat into a nice cozy little familiar territory?
Well, whenever you feel the fear it’s because you are doing something that you are not comfortable with.
I want you to consider that there are two ways you can look at fear: You can either see it as a hindrance or you can instead choose to see it as the catalyst that makes life worth living, and ultimately exciting.
Put it into context
Now you have to put the fear we are talking about into context. For example getting a gun placed against your head and being robbed is not the sort of fear-inducing experience we are talking about. Not only would that be cause a huge amount of terror, but it’s also a very horrible experience no matter what the final outcome is. You stand to gain nothing, and face losing your wallet, or worse your life.
But we are not talking about any fear that is caused by life or death situations. It may sometimes feel like it though, and I understand that. I’ve been there.
We’re talking about the fear of doing something that brings pleasure: like a bungee jump, sky diving, swimming with sharks, etc. If there was no fear, the experience would not be exciting. And in overcoming that fear, facing it and emerging unscathed the other side, you gain a tremendous amount of pleasure and pride. Euphoria almost. You grow
as a person.
Approaching women has the same effect to a certain extent. It’s the fear and excitement that makes it more interesting. Yes of course the thought of getting a girl back to your place and having sex is awesome. However the thrill of the chase is what builds the excitement and fear is part of what makes it exciting.
If you did not feel fear when approaching then you would not get the same buzz out of meeting women. You would not get that amazing feeling you get when you are successful. Fear helps us get out there because overcoming the fear is part of the buzz. Just like when you jump out of a plane from thousands of feet in the air and land safely in a field minutes later.
Don’t hate your fear. Embrace your fear. Soon you will realize that it’s there for a reason. It’s there to make your life more exciting.
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