All Before You Even Speak
A key component to attracting women is having great body language. But body language doesn’t fully describe the non-verbal part of your behavior with women. Remember the term, paralanguage. Paralanguage describes your communication outside of what you say.
You are always communicating, or sending messages. Most of this “messaging” comes in the form of paralanguage. You can say one thing, verbally, but mean another thing altogether. And guess which message people will focus on! The message you send with your paralanguage – your tonality, eye contact, facial expression, posture, etc – is much more important than what you say.
This is why I tell guys to be “warm,” and to “take the lead.” This is also why I rarely give specifics when it comes to what exactly to say – I just don’t want men to think about that sort of thing because it will lead to a bad focus. You don’t want to script your actions, but you want the quality of your action to be authentic, loving, and full (as in don’t do anything half-assed; think Kobe Bryant driving through the lane).
All the advice I give is about how to think. That’s where all success begins – in your mind. If you aren’t totally confident yet, I can give you mental tools to begin building a foundation of confidence. But things can get tricky when we are talking about your physical presence in a social situation. It’s easy to give you a focus in conversation – for example, focus on learning about what kind of child she was, or what is most important to her in her life right now.
As far as your paralanguage, you should focus on having presence. Notice I didn’t say “strong presence” or “powerful presence.” This is the mistake most guys make when they try to appear confident. They try to look strong or powerful. When you do this, women can tell that you are acting – they are wired to spot actors, just like men are wired to scope out a woman’s figure.
Instead of trying to appear powerful, relax. Convey that you accept and like yourself. Stay loose, and always be comfortable. When talking to a woman, caress her eyes with yours. Another way to explain this is with the term “sticky eyes.” Don’t stare her down, but let your eyes fall on hers, more than would be polite or platonic. Tell her with your eyes, “I like you.”
Never hide your front. Always keep the front of your body, from your crotch up to your face, exposed. This indicates, not only confidence, but sexuality. Let her check out your body and imagine what she could experience later.
Just to recap:
- Don’t try to look strong or powerful – instead relax and be comfortable.
- Talk with your eyes, as much as your mouth – send a loving message when you look into her eyes.
- Keep the front of your body exposed.
And as always, have fun – look happy, smile, enjoy yourself. Women love to see a man who is enjoying his life. There’s nothing more attractive than that.
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