About the Author
And What They Can Teach Us
“Boy likes girl” is one of the most eternal themes in literature. There’s so much narrative potential in chronicling a man’s quest for a piece of ace. The most beloved stories—the ones that adorn the halls of time—often follow a protagonist whose only concern is getting his D W’d. Just think of Sophocles’’ Oedipus Rex, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Dickens’ Great Expectations, and the intricate plotline of Super Mario Brothers.
There’s so much pathos, logos, and ethos built into that simple formula: boy likes girl. While the courtship conventions may change, the idea is still the same. You can learn so much about how a seducer’s mind works just by reading stories of debauchery, lechery, and lecherous debauchery.
In that respect, I’ve selected some of the finest literary gems the internet has to offer. The reading list I propose may not be fit for a college English class, but it’s sure worth your time. Over the years, I’ve read countless “boy meets girl” stories and these are 3 of my favorite.
Unlike what you’re probably expecting, these aren’t the glorious and incredible tales of epic pickups; instead, they treat the subject of sex as it should be treated: funny and light-hearted. In these stories, you’ll learn the mindset of real seducers. These are guys who simply don’t give a shit what you think of them. They can chronicle their failures as confidently as they can pen their successes.
If you don’t understand why that attitude is the cornerstone of a seductive attitude, read on…
Bobby Rio’s “My First Piece of MySpace Pussy”
As soon as you click this link, you’ll get a nice whiff of … epic. This story has all the ingredients of an incredible “I-got-laid” story: the setting, the friends, the hilarity, the punch line. If you can read this story and not laugh your ass off, you are simply not a mammal. Every line of this story packs a bite … like a fat girl nibbling on a KFC a drumstick.
In terms of a “life lesson,” this story also delivers. Most guys think “getting laid” is all about hooking up with a desirable girl and bragging about it. Instead, as Bobby’s story demonstrates, it’s more about making the story desirable and being proud of it.
You may not think you want to fuck a fat girl, yet Bobby’s story makes it seem … sorta fun. Any great seducer has the ability to see the “silver lining” in any situation. Even when that silver lining wears plus-size jeans.
Rip a Shot’s “Fat Chicks Got Tricks”
I really like the concept of “Rip a Shot” and encourage you to read more than just this fat chick story. Unlike braggadocios like Tucker Max, the stories on Rip a Shot are way more honest … and way more funny. Also, Deezy, the author of the Rip a Shot stories, has made the entire book available for free (with no strings attached). It’s all content, all the time.
As for this story, we again get another “I-fucked-a-fat-chick” tale. Like Bobby Rio, Deezy recollects the experience with snarky nostalgia. He doesn’t shy away from any of the hilarious (and embarrassing) details. I especially like the dialogue, as it captures the absurdity of the scene in punchy one-liners shared between Deezy and his pudgy conquest.
Another reason I like this story is because it demonstrates the “good wingman” ethic. We’ve all been faced with a situation where our friend was hooking up with some hotty, and were stuck with the leftovers. How many of us, however, have manned up to the challenge like Deezy did?
Moreover, how many of would have the balls to write the excruciating details like Deezy? Just for enduring that, this story deserves a read. And, if you check out his other stories, you’ll find equally hilarious and wild stories—though, as you’ll see, karma pays Deezy back in a good way with hotter and thinner chicks.
Miracle Jones’ “How to Get Laid for Zero Dollars”
Miracle Jones is obviously an accomplished fiction writer as his prose style is polished, elegant, and hypnotic. Normally, you’d expect such erudite writing to address esoteric and avant-garde themes like hipster gathers in Brooklyn or the angst of being a trust-fund child. Miracle Jones, however, speaks the language of the seducer, writing a story that perfectly captures the mindset of any guy who’s looking to get laid quickly.
While the story may seem bizarre at points, it all ties together with one word: imagination. Anyone who can seduce women consistently has a refined and sophisticated imagination. The word seduce comes from the Latin root that means “to lead astray.” Just like his engaging prose style leads the reader into the story, the imagination of the protagonist leads him to a lay.
Read this story both as a fine short story as well as a great example of how to use your imagination and creativity to get laid. Awesome on all accounts!