» What Women Really Want: A Chill Guy

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Alex Becker is a dating coach and writer with a huge knowledge base in PUA, psychology, and social dynamics. He currently spends most of his time focusing on teaching college aged men how to naturally improve their success with women. In his free time he enjoys playing guitar, building websites, and his dog Chewbacca.

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One question I constantly get is what do girls find attractive in a guy. This is a age old questions that will be asked ‘til the end of time and sadly it has no answer.

There are a thousand and one things that girls find attractive in a guy so we are basically screwed if we want a decent answer. I literally have yet to meet a girl who is attracted to exactly the same qualities as another girl. The ironic thing is girls do not consciously know what they are attracted to, but if you listen to them talk about guys they are interested in they almost always use one word to describe them.

Chill

What the hell is chill suppose to mean! Well, if you translate this from girl lingo it means relaxed, not trying to impress, and easy to be around. This does not mean being a fat sloth who agrees with everyone else.

A better way to explain this term would be to think of a big silver back gorilla. They own their domain confidently without trying. They are relaxed and for lack of better words chill. Girls simply love this, there is virtually nothing more attractive to them than a confident guy who can simply be relax and be “chill.”

Chill out, brah

I hate to make set in stone rules, but if you do not learn how to be chill I guarantee you will never have any real success with women.

Scary, right?

It’s a good thing you already naturally know how to be chill for the most part. Think of how you behave around people you already know, unless you are a complete wack job this is a example of chill behavior. The problem that a majority of men have however, is when they meet a girl they like they instantly drop this chill normal persona and become very … awkward. They speed up their talking, they try to impress her and they start thinking way to much about what to say. This is a total attraction killer.

How to Become Chill

Now, to become chill around girls you must understand why it is so important. In the sexual realm, guys lead and girls naturally follow. This lead and follow mentality applies to emotions as well. This means if you are nervous and not being yourself you are quickly going to make girls around you uncomfortable. Your body language, speaking tone, and countless other sub conscious cues will start pinging off her and she will rapidly lose attraction to you. Think about it, have you ever been turned on when you are uncomfortable.

Nope, it’s impossible.

Then how the hell can you expect a girl to be aroused by your presence if you are nervous? It can happen, but it is very, very rare.

Look back on all the guys you know that are amazing with women. Do you ever see them running out things to girls. Certainly not. Now look at the flip side, do you ever see girls going quiet or running out of things to say back? Nope. Because the guy is relaxed and confident the girls is relaxed and confident. With this sort of vibe it is only a matter of time before a sexual interest springs up *literally =P*.

So, if you are looking to truly master women here is my two cents. Stop learning PUA stuff, stop learning psychology, and stop with any other rubbish that does not directly put you face to face with a girl. There is only one way to obtain this chill status and it is by talking to as many girls as possible.

Picture Gene Simmons the first time he played guitar in front of crowd of people. Do you think he was relaxed and played his best? Probably not because he was nervous. However after he had done it a couple thousand times it was probably as easy as breathing. You need to reach this same comfort level when talking to girls. No matter how much you learn about dating techniques you will always be missing this important aspect of game.

So, stop spazzing out, do some yoga and give women what they really want. A chill guy!

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