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Everything You Know About Getting Women is Wrong

By on July 14, 2011

And not just a little wrong.

Totally and completely false.

If you call yourself a straight male, chances are you’ve spent some serious time considering ways in which you could improve your skills with women. Maybe you’re looking for more women to date or maybe you’re a virgin-lips looking for that elusive first kiss.

If you’ve checked online for advice, you’ve probably been given the same old riff raff from self-proclaimed dating coaches.

“Make her feel emotional.” “Be playful and charming.” “Get her to focus on you.”

This “expert advice” on women will always fail for you. Why? One simple reason. Dating coaches always expect more skill on your end than they should.

If you’re the type of guy who browses the Internet for a fool-proof way to get a girl in bed, chances are that you have had little or no success in the girl department. You’re probably in the habit of pulling up PornHub on a daily basis to punch the clown. I hate to break it to you, but no magic formula exists to get the girl of your dreams in the sack.

For all of the Albert Brennamans out there, Alex Hitchins is not a real person. Even if he were, he could not help you land an Allegra Cole.

I’m sorry. The truth hurts. The good news is that I don’t mean to say that you can’t land a great woman. Because you can. But…

Two crucial factors are holding you back time and time again.

1. You Have No Confidence

Not how you'd think

For starters, your confidence with women is non-existent. Most of your time spent with women involves watching them naked on a computer screen. God forbid you actually had to talk to one! Girls immediately sense self-assurance or insecurity. Most women are self-conscious, and they are seeking the strength and confidence of a man to feel more secure about themselves.

When I see a guy approach a girl and mumble halfheartedly or make poor eye contact, I know that his chances are already in the gutter about 99% of the time.

To a woman, an obvious lack of confidence is about as disgusting as a venereal disease.

2. She’s Out of Your League

The second critical error made by most men who have trouble with women is that they aim way to high.

It is one ugly sight when I see a 2 approach a 7 at a party or club. The most common response on the female side is to completely ignore the fact that this man just approached her; she pretends he isn’t even there.

Obviously, this is highly embarrassing to the hopeful suitor, who is then forced to walk away in shame.

How to Change Your Approach and Succeed

If you believe that the two factors listed above have played a significant role in killing your chances with women, then here is exactly what you need to do.

Aim lower.

This may seem like a no-brainer for getting more girls. You may have had friends give you this advice in the past. You may be too proud to admit that you’re aiming too high. I don’t care, so listen up. Until you seriously heed this advice, your efforts with women will continue to fail.

Right now, I want you to try to honestly assess yourself on a scale of 1-10, and don’t just consider your physical attractiveness. Your amount of confidence with women and your previous success or lack of success should also be taken into account.

If you have never had sex, never had a girlfriend, or haven’t had either for more than a year, your self-rating should be no higher than 5. I don’t care if you’re a fitness model.

If you are more than 50 pounds overweight or under 5’5” tall, your self-rating should be no higher than 3. I don’t care if you had sex that one time.

Again, the truth hurts.

The next time you attempt to engage in any sort of interpersonal communication with a female, I want you to make sure you would give her a rating that is absolutely no higher than your own. This could mean going for a woman much more unattractive than you would like. My suggestion is to get the beer goggles working in your favor and keep the lights off. In the dark, a pussy is a pussy.

Why This Will Work and Why You’ll Never Regret It

Success with women can never happen overnight. In fact, it is a long road. To get yourself headed down the right track, you first have to start somewhere. If you’re still reading, you haven’t covered much ground to this point, which means you must aim lower. Get that unattractive girl in your bed. Just do it. No excuses.

Don’t underestimate the simplicity of this step. Even though she is fugly, she is still a human being that deserves respect. If you treat her like you would treat a 10, you should find that it is very easy to flirt with her and ultimately make her want you. This is because of two things, and they just happen to be the two things that were holding you back.

First, you’re aiming lower, so you’re avoiding the instantaneous shutdown that results when you approach a knockout.

Second, your confidence has skyrocketed! Why? Because you’re no longer trying to talk to a beautiful girl with whom you don’t truly believe you have a chance. You’re talking to Miss Fugly. And even you can be certain that a girl like that would be attracted to you.

With these two pitfalls avoided, your chances have increased dramatically. You should be able to get her in bed.

Don’t beat yourself up for lowering your standards. It will be the best decision that you will ever make for your love life. Getting that first girl ever or first girl in a long time under your belt will provide you with a stepping stone. You can’t expect to go from zero to hero, but the first successful attempt with a girl will open the door to many more options. You will boost your confidence and subsequently raise your self-rating, allowing you to go for a more attractive girl next time.

Keep raising your standards in increments of 1. Remember that you were a failure, and that your path to success is a marathon, not a sprint. With each success, your confidence will gradually increase. Then, one day in the future, you will find yourself waking up next to the 7 or 8 you always dreamed of.

And guess what? You will thank your lucky stars that you started low and built success from the ground up.

 

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About Bobby Rio

I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. You'll know more about me on . I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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3 Comments

  1. Nick

    July 15, 2011 at 4:31 pm

    This is an okay article, I agree with some points and disagree with a few. I think the getting any girl is a decent point in helping develop confidence for future chicks. I disagree with rating yourself below a 5 if you fall into the category of what you said. Believing any girl is out of your league should never cross your mind whether you’re a 1 or a 10 in your mind. I will agree building confidence is key to succeeding and I like the “any means necessary” to get that confidence so over-all it actually isn’t a bad article. I haven’t been to this site in a few weeks this is the first post I have seen from Jordan, and it seems he’s still an undergrad so I’m gonna say well done for being so young.

  2. Jordan

    July 18, 2011 at 5:12 pm

    Thanks for the vote of confidence, Nick. This article was mostly directed at guys who have been struggling all of their lives or for quite some time to improve their success with women. As far as I know, aiming lower (and in some cases much lower) is about the only tried and true way to guarantee yourself at least SOMETHING.

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