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Top Five Movies of Katie Holmes

By on August 23, 2011

Have you ever had a good friend who was super cool and awesome? Of course you have. Have you ever had a super cool friend get married and then you never hear from them again? When you did hear from them all they talked about was the crap their spouse was into like lace doilies, cats and the hope that the market for Beanie Babies comes back? When they are talking about all that boring stuff, all you can think of is, damn you were so hot, could act so well and had such nice breasts? Well, that happened to all of us.

Remember how cute she was?

Just replace “the market for Beanie Babies coming back” with “Scientology” and “nice breasts” with “awesome breasts” and replace “act so well” with “awesome breasts” and bing, bang, boom, you have Katie Holmes. I mean she could do something good again after her marriage to Tom Cruise. “Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark” which starts August 26th could be that movie. Really. Forget you ever saw those posters for “The Kennedys.” This will be different. She’ll be just like Joey Potter again.

Yeah, I don’t believe it either. Well, at least we have these five movies to remember her by.

5. Go

Imagine if Paul Thomas Anderson or Robert Altman did a crazy drug-dealing movie and if you can do that, I think you’d be imagining something close to “Go.” Yes, I’m basically saying this has a bunch of intertwined plots and a lot of good actors and that’s the similarity. Bonus though – before he was with the law in “Deadwood” or “Justified,” Timothy Olyphant played a pretty cool drug dealer.

4. The Gift

Remember that part where I might have slid in the mention of “awesome breasts?” Yeah. That’s this movie. It’s a horror film of sorts with a pretty cool cast including Cate Blanchett and Hilary Swank, but really when I think of this movie and reflect fondly on its art, it’s about Katie’s boobs.

3. Batman Begins

Tell your friends the # 3 Katie Holmes movie. It’s Batman. Well technically it’s Batman Begins, anyway just tell them.

2. Wonder Boys

Ok, this is mostly a movie for the men involved – Michael Douglas, Tobey Maguire and Robert Downey, Jr., so maybe it shouldn’t rank as high on Katie’s list. However, my rule has always been that a Spiderman and Iron Man team-up beats Batman. Just the way my world rolls.

1. Thank You For Smoking

There are a ton of cool people and moments in this movie from the same director of “Juno” and “Up in the Air” but the moment that always sticks in my mind is the scene between Aaron Eckhart and Rob Lowe. The payoff of the scene goes like this:

“Cigarettes in space?”
“It’s the final frontier, Nick.”
“But wouldn’t they blow up in an all oxygen environment?”
“Probably. But it’s an easy fix. One line of dialogue. ‘Thank God we invented the… you know, whatever device.’”

Agree? Disagree? Which movies would make your Katie Holmes top five?

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About Jason McClain

Jason is an aspiring novelist, which means there is a lot of time to put off writing and watch baseball or go fly-fishing, hiking and traveling. By "a lot of time", Jason means "procrastination."

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