Comments on: How to Crack a Shy Girl

By: Natasha

Natasha — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 12:44:48 +0000

Hi Raymond,
That’s a tough situation.
If you’ve pushed for too much from her and made her feel uncomfortable, you’ve pretty much blown it. It is possible to recover but be very gentle with her. A very shy girl will need to build up trust with you over time.

You said you did most of the talking; perhaps she wanted to say more but takes more time to get her words out than most. She might be a little overwhelmed at you talking so much! Ask her heaps of open ended questions when you talk to her and be interested in what she says to make her talk more.

Meeting up every day for a week is a lot of effort; she wouldn’t have done that if she wasn’t interested in you. A few days isn’t so long to not be really talking to her. I don’t think there’s anything to worry about in that respect.

Best of luck!
Natasha

By: Raymond

Raymond — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:24:12 +0000

Hi Natasha,

I hope you are doing great. Natasha I am in love with a shy girl. I spent around a week with her and most of the times I did the conversation and she hardly spoke and sometimes it made me angry but I controlled myself and tried to talk again, but we met daily and she did things I like, food I like and I also listened to her very carefully. Gave her own space. For past few days we are talking very less. I think so I scared her by saying her ” I like her” or may be I became little pushy. I want her to come out of the shell she is a wonderful person within. Please help me out

Raymond

By: Natasha

Natasha — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 03:18:39 +0000

Hi John,
While talking about a general topic works well enough on shy women and confident women alike, I would not recommend keeping to non-personal topics when talking to a confident woman. The reason for this is that most people love to talk about themselves (with the exception of those who are shy, of course), so you will be able to engage her more in conversation if she can talk about herself.
It sounds like you’re definitely onto something with sharing your knowledge on your conversation partner’s field- perhaps you should consider that on the occasions this results in awkwardness, maybe you’ve made a faux pas without knowing it. If it is their topic, then they would know more than you about it and it’s a possbility that it’s a simple case of you saying something wrong about it rather than them being shy. In this case, you could ask if they agree/disagree with you and why, which will keep the conversation going and keep them engaged since you are talking about a topic that interests them.

In reply to your second question, I disagree- there are so many extroverted women that could not be called shy by any stretch of the imagination. Everyone has their moments when they feel uncomfortable or insecure which can make them shy temporarily, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t generally a confident person.

Hope this advice helps.

Natasha

By: John

John — Thu, 17 Nov 2011 08:15:43 +0000

Hey, thanks for this great article. I have two questions:
1. About the conversation topic: is it always a good road to take when you don’t talk about neither yourself nor her, in terms of talking to any type of girl? Or is it only special for shy girls?
I have been practicing talking about the girls or people I talk to and sometimes the conversation gets really good and people actually appreciate my knowledge on their field, or it just goes downhill where it just goes awkward. So maybe when the conversation goes awkward I can think of those people as shy and shift to a more general topic?

2. Would it be accurate to consider every type of girl as shy girl? Or am I totally off?

Thank you!